When Your Partner Becomes Disabled

i married my boyfriend of 6 yrs though he got ill (got inflicted with stroke) when he was 23 yrs old. we got married when he was 25. his left part of the body was paralyzed. but i did not leave him and my parents were very mad at me because of it.

When we marry, we are sudden to make promises. Human beings in love make hasty decisions about what they are going to do in their lives. Though the promises of marriage are well intended, none of us know what the future holds as we get older nor whether we have the power to cope with what hurdles get in the way, or what bricks life throws at us. We are young and in love and that's all that matters in the world. Disability or Illness has a habit of hitting without warning. It's an usual fact that we are all heading for some factor of illness during our lives, and where this causes marital stress is when people don't know how to cope with the fact that their partner is in pain. It's hard to watch someone you love suffer. It's harder still to wake up every day discerning that there is nothing you can do to make the pain go away, and the last thing that the ill person needs is the extra weight of guilt that they are making your life miserable.

I don't mind at all. I met my partner perfectly healthy but being workaholic she is forced to resign and stay at home for recovery. She is not totally crippled but she can walk nor stand for so long. Her bones are weak and need to be protected to avoid fractures. I still accepted her and it didn't affect our relationships. I even love her more. I know she needed me more to go on with her new life. With my love and support she can recover fast. If God planned her to be like that then i accept it with all my heart.

Hi Toni, This discussion has touched me maybe because it reflects me somewhere. I am not disabled in real meaning of the term but going by the discussion, yes, I am ill and not always fit. My partner has never told me that she wants to leave me and I am happy and thankful for this. Also, she has stood by me whenever I have been down. As for the persons in the discussions, I do think that it is not appropriate for him to leave her just because she is disabled and the love is drifting away. I wonder if anything like this would happen to me. As for me, I would never even think to leave my wife whatever it might be. I lover her so much that these things dont really matter today. These are the hard times and the God Above, is testing the Love that you have between you. Cheers, theSids.

For some reason I don't think this person is telling the truth! There is far more to marriage than love making. This guy should be speaking to a doctor, not a friend. Just curious, are you female?

love is unconditional. you love a person by feelings and not physically. if you really love a person youll love him/her wholeheartedly especially now that he needs you in his life because he is disabled.

By the way for how many years is your friend married?? I do not think just because he is disabled you should leave him...When you accept a person you have to accept it with his/her fault. That is marriage. When there is love between them then what is the use of leaving each other. In fact your friend should show that she loves him as before even if he is having a disability. I think they both should have a long chat and try to be like before and try to give their marriage a whole new meaning.

Your partner is still thay same person you fell in love. Their situation in life may have changed, but the way they feel inside doesn't. They may have some bitterness or their disability . they can also choose to accept what they cannot change. I would not leave a partner over a disability. i would try to help them see they are just as important to me as ever.

hello toniganzon! my partner once asked me if i would leave him just because of his lesser capacity in bed. He met an accident two years ago and its catching up on him, making it so painful for him to do the deed like we used to. I didn't get into our relationship because of the physical aspect and i told him that. I would not leave him because of his being disabled or something. I do love the guy and even if he's quite unpredictable sometimes, that's part of the package that i have sworn to love and uphold. however, if he will betray me despite his being less capacity in bed with other women, i would not only leave him but would make sure that he will use it no more, lol.

ohh so sad you should tell your friend to go to the doctor with his wife. and ask what way they can use to make love. maybe if she goes up to him maybe they can. if she is on the top instead of being him. they should ask the doctor if he can be injured or not. if not for sure they can make love^^ also they can do other positions that doesnt force him to move his leg :) there is always a way for them to be happy^^ i wouldnt leave my bf bcs of that^^ i would find other ways to please him if after go to doctor he said wasnt possible. but for example people in wheel chairs can still do if the girl is on the top. so maybe she can also^^ they should go to doctor and ask if she can hurt him if is on the top of him. if not they can do this way^^ the best for your sweet friend^^ and tell him to cheer up^^

when our partner is disabled, we should have more sympathy and compassion toward the spouse. If we desert our partner during a crisis, it would mean that our love was selfish. We should never think to desert our spouse if she or he becomes disabled. True love never changes, and 'bears it out even to the edge of doom' (Shakespeare).

well, i am very sorry to hear a story from you dear. this is a very sad story. btw, when my parner become disabled, i will always stick for her because i love her very much.

this is how you can measure true love and I guess, if you really love your partner, no matter what happens to him/her, you won't leave him just because of that. I saw people come who were still with their partners even their partners are sick..sometimes there are severe cases too.