Mother's love and orphanages...

Jen - I am skeptical partly because of the numbers. 10 is just one too many even for the most loving and natural mother to handle. We'll wait and watch. Hopefully, I am wrong. Oh yes, I am smarter. :) And I learnt how to hit back.

Not physically. :) Verbally. :)

Yeah, maybe not so much as a mother for 10 children, but ore as a teacher and companion? Ah, that is why you are so witty?

Hi Hatley - I've been toying with the idea of going to this organization and offering my services. I am not sure as yet. But I feel I will become safe if I go to an organization rather than remain with individuals. An organization like this will obviously get the sympathy of court and the court would be more inclined to give a verdict in favor of the organization and against my relatives, should things come to that.

Since my life is at stake, I would be inclined to do my duties right, whether I have those maternal instincts or not. My thoughts, as of now. Would love your valuable opinion on this.

I hope so too. :) But it is not going to be easy. The project will take off by next July I suppose. Lets wait and see. :)

Sudden or not, 10 children will always be overwhelming. :) They would need a lot of help. :) And yes, a break off and on. We are looking at creating a natural environmentment for kids. But 10 children... :) That is the best they can afford as of now I suppose. :)

I have a friend who has 11 children. By the time the youngest was born, the oldest was just starting college; so, she never had more than 10 growing up in her home at any one time. She homeschooled all of her children and never admitted to being overwhelmed; but, she had her husband's support and they had their own parents and siblings to help out on occasion. Some people just seem to have an overabundance of maternal instincts/feelings. Persoanlly, I never could have done what she did; but, she was and still is happy (even though she only has 7 children still at home right now).

Yeah the big clause there is "some people". And children are her own. I do feel that people who have suffered in life are less inclined to be kinder to others - or less inclined to be considerate to others. This may be because they might be feeling - others had their turn under the sun, it is now theirs may be? Or - if I can come out successfully with so much pain behind me, then why cant this person, or simply jealousy - I never had this beautiful clothes when I was young or never had two square meals when I was young. I could be wrong of course, but I have seen people who've suffered become very selfish. It could just be probabilities.

I hope so too. Actually too many people presume that women are loving folks, and would love unconditionally, whatever be the case. That - is so unrealistic!

very true, actually women are as apt to harm a child because that's the only thing they see as more helpless than themselves.

You are echoing my sentiments sweetie! :) Welcome to myLot. :)

You wont find women that selfless. :) If they have kids, they will try to steal. :) If they are young, they would want to ... idealistic stuff looks like. But nice to think of, isn't it? :)

Vijayanths - thank you for acknowledging the big fact. First and foremost - I am divided on your statement as to women cannot show love to children that are not their own. It is difficult to love a child who has a mother, especially when a woman has children of her own. At least, I believe so. The reason - insecurity. As long as the child's natural mother is around - it is a competition - I have to be better than her - and in that race the actual pleasure of being with the child is lost completely. I've seen that happen oh so many times. Moreover, the mother of the child does not feel grateful! Instead, she always behaves like a sister-in-law, or mother-in-law, constantly finding faults with the way adoptive mother brings up the child. Life can be real hell for adoptive mother with this combo. She could be reduced to be a servant of the woman who supplies the child! But may be these are my misgivings. It may not happen in all cases. In any event, help should go to people who need it. Isn't the need of an orphan more than the need of a child who has one or more parents? I think even if a single parent is alive or working - they can manage to give excellent upbringing, but orphan has no such scope. So any help should essentially go to the orphans. Long ago - I mentioned to one of my colleagues who offered me her daughter (cleverly I must say because daughters can be dowry burden) to adopt a male child instead of trying to have one of her own. Oh no, she didnt want that. But I was labeled selfish because I didn't want to adopt her daughter. :) So you see, women become extremely selfish once they get a child, more so, when they get a girl child. Coming back to our topic, I do think 10 is a big ask. If it were a smaller number, I would be jumping at it. :)

Yeah - the idea is not new to the extent that it is about giving family life to kids, S.O.S :) The only problem is - they are looking at dumping 10 children on destitute - who might have her own tragic past to grapple with. In the process, is she going to spank the kids?

Destitute would be fine with one or two - 10!!! I do think this is going to turn out to be a small dormitory, and the so called mother might become the kind of matron I had.

Hi Shibam, it was in Pilani - the school was good, the hostel was not - rather the matron who was looking after me was terrible. So much so that senior girls (girls who were in seventh or eighth standard started feeling sorry for me, and they used to sneak in wake me up early by 4 am or so, and get me ready by 5 am and make me sleep again so that the old lady never got a chance to spank me. She was always chewing that beetlenut, and though she was neat otherwise, she was very sadistic. I was terrified of her. I had nobody to complain to. Nobody ever visited me and dad was tough to communicate with - fearsome. We used to call her sister, and her assistant was Godibai. That woman used to draw out water from hot drums early in the morning and pour in buckets which we had to carry to the bathroom. We got only half bucket of hot water - I must've been around six - so you do know the size of the bucket. The duo were good at sadistic treatment. Selected candidates. Me, then there was another girl, Sadhana Goswami, and another girl whose name I don't remember but she used to draw vinayaka pictures, and was a Maharashtrian. :) Terrible to hold for childhood memories. I dont blame the management. Even as a grown up I realize that people find it tough to believe that women can be sadistic with other women's children. So management would not have known at all. In retrospect I think it was because we had no visitors to complain to. Others did. Sadhana Goswami's parents were in Tanzania. The Maharashtrian girl's parents were in Maharashtra. So the sadistic women had the field if you know what I mean. I really feel thankful to Aamir Khan for showing that all is not hunky dory in hostels. Your child could be suffering after you pay that kind of fee. And Shibam dont go by the behavior of others. Children with step-mothers or others like me come to accept our fate so we never complain, even when we are ill-treated, until it simply gets too much. Before joining myLot, I would never have believed that there was something called nice step mother in real life. But some friends out here have shaken that myth. So I guess, I believe you. And I agree with you - motive matters.