We never really learn..................do we??????

I think this is something related to artificial schema of non being emotional and just rejecting something very bluntly to avoid some outcome which could be possibly no good for both the parties. Yes, i agree with this, sometimes someone has to be harsh to prevent someones' heart ache and also one's own heartache. I have seen them in many movies and i don't know how come this will emerge in true life !!

I disagree, pretending you don't have a heart really isn't living and you won't really be happy that way, getting hurt and making mistakes is a part of life and people do learn from them, at least I have, Live and learn is a part of nature. Nothing you said is harsh, it is just in my opinion wrong.

Hi Sweetie I wish I could be harsh I just can't I have tried, I stand up for myself yes, which I never used to, but I will always give the Person a chance and as you can see this is where it gets me lol, I now have to move My Daughter can be very harsh and yes she gets on in Life

hi sis! agree~truly agree!it is not about being fake with our ownselves or in front of others but it is for our own good indeed.even if we show it, it has nothing different.so just say farewell and forget it!what a simple way! JA NE....

i could not really do this, i always open my heart and yes many many times it has been broken from people close to me. Yes we should learn from mistakes but this is life and we sometimes do make some odd choices.

that sounds like the story of the young man with the beautiful heart he was so proud of until an old man with a ragged heart said his was more beautiful and that the only way to have a beautiful heart was to share it with another... to live is to have heart aches, its part of what makes us human, but you don't have to wear it on your sleeve to share it, and should husband it (as in animal husbandry) and only share it with people that are willing to share theirs back.

I just can't carry around my emotional baggage and pretend nothing is wrong. That just doesn't work with me. It will cause my capillaries to burst if I were to follow your teachings.

Doesn't work in the long run, m'dear. You will find that if you suppress emotions, you will suppress the good ones as well as the bad ones, and then you don't get as much joy out of life. Not worth it.

Hi saphie.. Where is the discussion????? lol

Ok blondie - the heartless vandy wants to punch you where it would hurt the most.... so out with it!!!

I will have to try that. I hope you know that you are training me to be heartless and i might turn out being wicked in the end. And if that happens all i can say is that it was your fault.

Hi Saphrina, That would be not me. I am ruled by my heart and yes, there are heart aches but then they have a different impact on me... I feel sad, happy, disgusted, flattered... so many emotions that would not have been felt / realized if I was that harsh and stubborn. Life is short and in that span we must enjoy all that comes across to us and emotions make you feel you are alive. That is my personal view of course. Cheers, theSids.

Totally agree with you there. I'm so sweet and nice and kind to almost everybody! But I noticed that the more I become nice, the more people abused me. And it really pained me every time they try to so I decided that I should be harsh to them before they could try anything to harm my feelings.

You are the best representation of us all here, saphy. that's why i love you. =) Can we be best friends now? LOL

hi saphrina maybe we dont really learn but I cannot pretend I have no heart as it goes out for p eople here at Gold Crest who are so much worse off physically than I am. I hurt for them as I watch them struggle just to do the common things most of us do automatically.Guess this is just my naturew or all the years I worked as an nurse's aide have made me aware of the braveness and gallantry of physically handicapped people who still smile and carry on like nothing is wrong. I cannot pretend I don't have a heart as mine is touched by others.

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO SAY ABOUT ME your theory, harsh and effective may be true but what's next, what could be the favorite by many people who like it and what it could be absurd opinion but something may have a point after the try and get it after all slightly injured

I don't think that we ever really learn this lesson. For some of us there always has to be some sense of hope. For some it is easier than others. Some swoon at the drop of a hat pin! We all have to learn to close doors at some point, as there are plenty around who will use us as doormats if we let them. It might sound harsh, but I am sure that we have all been there at some stage: and have often advised friends that they are being used this way!

violence like what is it? not whether the love we can learn to respect others

Ya we dont learn from our mistakes! we're humans after all. Well, it helps if you are emotionally groomed and practical in your approach. You must just take the bad events in life as experiences and move on. You must strike the balance between giving and receiving, keeping a check on your feelings and emotions. Learn to read signs right from the beginning and act accordingly. Don't live in a dream world, till someone shakes you and wakes you up! Its ok...They say love truly, forgive soon, laugh heartily, life is short!