Dealing with Behavioral Issues

hi dorannmwin I used to see this stuff to and found my own little son said mom let us wor k it out please. And they did work it out. One bloody nose and the bully began to see the light as other kids found courage and beat him to the next step he wanted to do. Most children who do bully are really rather cowardly. the others turned on him and he ran for cover. all the time I was scared spitless not to get involved in this but only the bully got hurt and I felt it was time this overgrown child bully tasted some of his own medicine.but usually I will say in the case of bullying you must see the teacher, the superintendant and the bully brats parents. I did get involved if it came to my son;s safety.but you have to start letting kids handle hurt feelings occasionally so they can learn to handle themselves with other children.

Unfortunately, sounds pretty typical to me. I wish I could say otherwise. For the most part, not a lot you can do, even if you introduce yourself. Best to just wait and see if the kids can work it out themselves.

I might let slide that the child said that to the little girl, but for him to shout over you, that's just wrong. I'd probably consider talking to them.

Children are cruel little creatures, as adults we forget how bad they can be. If adults get involved it doesn't help it only drives it underground. Because this Cole person was disrespectful to you, an adult, I would guess there is not much help at home for better behaviour. Of course you might find out why he is acting out this way and may be able to do something about that. I think I would be more inclined to try to arm the child that was harmed so that she can defend herself against this behavior. Always situations like this are hard to treat, if there had been physical violence things would be much more clear. The fact the bullies in schools and over the Net are in the news a great deal right now proves that these situations are very common. Good luck.

i would say something otherwise the child will just continue, have no respect for people and he may possibly get worse. The worst thing is the fact that his parents might be the exact same as him and have the same attitude. People should not be picked on like this and it is wrong to out people for whatever reason, kids are there to have fun not have the mickey taken out of them for whatever reason, and just because she had glitter on her is a very very stupid reason. Even this boy just has problems or he is taking from his parents. Hopefully he has decent enough parents that will set him straight, i would act noew before things possibly develop in which case things could get a lot worse. Good luck and i hope that this helps if you do chat to them maybe it could be better if another parent went round with you to back up the fact that this has happened and shows that it isn't just one person complaining but a few.

Leave it to the kids, as this will help their anatomy. They'll have to defend themselves increasingly as time goes by, and taking aggressive action towards simple quandaries like this will make them week. Guidance should only be given to what is right and wrong, and what you did is correct. Try avoiding things that will make this a big scene, as the kid may get more scared and weaker as it progress into her later life. Judging the kid, he hasn't done much wrong, as kids in NY area may call physical appearance awkward let alone what they are wearing. It is a part of the defense process, and as soon as she knows how to combat it, she'll know how to avoid being taken advantage of in this way.

I would suggest that now that you know there is no physical violence or anything too extreme going on, you need to leave it to the kids to figure out. It did not happen in your yard, so it is not your place to fix the problem. If it happens in your yard and it is beyond the ability of the kids to deal with, help them figure it out. Act as a moderator, leading with questions like: "What is the problem?" and "What choices can we make to solve this problem?" and even "Are you treating Jasmine the way you like to be treated?" (I do not understand why glitter on a shirt is a trampoline is a problem. Maybe the kid can explain it) I think these are some lessons I should have known when I was involved in childcare and parenting. It would be okay to give Jasmine some strong but not nasty comebacks, like "It is not your trampoline it belongs to Mary, and she can say if I jump."

Please introduce yourself to their parents and try to make them understand about the children behavior. May be their parents are unaware about their children behavior. Always we can go and tell them. They may feel offended but still they may understand and make an effort to tell their kids. No point in telling kids, they would not understand.

Usually I will leave it to the kids. I had encounter this when my friend boys came to me that they are being told off by some kids that they can't play with them cause they are not native. However, my advice to my friend boys is either they can introduce themselves to them that they would like to be their friend, otherwise, just play among yourselves till there is an opportunity. Well... kids are kids... after sometimes, they all played happily together.

have you asked the other kids what they know about him? i mean if he has both parents. if they know why or if hes mean to the other kids all the time? i dont know. probably be good to see if you can get to know his parents or at least know more about him. hopefully he hasnt got one of those dads that wants to fight anyone that says anything about his kid we had a boy like that in the neighborhood once and we had to go to court because not only were they threatening us and others in the neighborhood, but the kid continued to do more and more to our kids. because when me and another mother went to her over her kid, the dad threatened us and the mother went along with it. luckily they had to move because they were drunks and didnt pay their rent. plus making trouble all the time

This is difficult as parents get upset and are sure that their little darling did not do wrong. Unless this is physical abuse or really vicious name calling or threatening then stay out of it. Just this evening my friend who adopted a boy from birth almost and he is a spoiled monster called to me to tell me that he may be suspended from school for kicking a second grade student. He is in grade 5. So she moaned on and on about why everybody was picking on her son and I had to remind her that this is not the first time he has been physical with younger children. He threatened my grand twins so that when he visited if we were not there the helper was instructed to not do anything except stay with the twins. He is maladjusted and screams and hits her but - he is her little darling. Watch it for a while and see if his behaviour deteriorates before speaking to parents. Get the other parents to watch him too. His yelling at you is not acceptable social behaviour and te him that too. He needs to kow that he wil not be getting away with bad behaviour. But I woud not do anything just yet. One minute kids are friends and the next minute they are quarreling.

Children can be tough to deal with. I have two daughters and now that my oldest is going to school, she is coming home with some colorful words that I don't really like her saying. It is very hard to protect our children from the kids around them. Personally I would wait and see if the problem continues. You have already spoken to him in an environment with other children there to see, now you have to wait and see if it has worked. If it hasn't and he is still bugging her, I would take the next step and get in touch with his parents. Now one of two things will more than likely happen: They will be shocked by his behavior and they will deal with it from there, or 2: They will be really rude about it and insist that he is just being a child. Personally I hope that it is the former and that something is done before things get out of hand. I know it can be hard because we don't want to be the BAD guys, but at the same time, I am not willing to let someone make my children feel bad just because they are different. I have always told my girls that it is best to be yourself and that if people don't like it, they aren't the right kind of people that they should be friends with. Friends are people who like you for who you are, and you might want to explain that to this little girl. Make her understand that there are always going to be kids like that around and that as long as she stays true to herself, she will be just fine.

Sounds like you have a bully in the area. If you can, I'd be outside while your children, or the children you watch are outside. I know that's not always easy. Or maybe while "Cole" is out there with the others you might want to make your presence known. It probably would not help to deal with his parents, usually a bully comes from bullies!

Kids are kids. Since I became a fulltime mom, I have alot of experiences when it comes to dealing with behavior with kids. Since, we are living in a compound with relatives my daughter played with her nieces and nephews. So, everyday I have to deal with different issues with them. About your experience with that kid, I think you have to think it over before you go and tell his parents what he did. Because some parents get offended if they are approach about their children's negative behavior. If the case is like that, it might cause a big conflict. This is just my opinion.

This is typical child behavior. You can't expect each child to like everyone they meet.. even if they have a really stupid reason for disliking someone. It is their right to dislike someone, and refuse to play with them, or refuse to allow them to join their games. You can't really make them change this behavior.. as long as they aren't being physical or saying terrible things. I firmly believe each child needs to work through these problems on their own without bringing parents into it, unless of course something really serious has happened such as any form of violence or really bad name calling (saying something like "you're a poopy head" isn't worth getting involved in).