I wanted to pull her hair.... Grrrr!

This just shows that no body is perfect. Every one has skeletons hiding in their closet. I think there's nothing you can do about the current situation. It will be all just her word against his.

Hi! :) It proves that you still have 'respect' for him and it is a natural tendency that we do not like that others should cricize our vert close relatives and near and dear ones. However, on our part, we take the liberty to critize our own people and do not mind doing that..............lol! (all of us do like it). It is like we may fight in our home with our family members, but if any of our neighbors critize any of our family member, we stay behind him/her.

Although you are currently upset with her about how she handled things and the nasty letter she wrote, give it some time. You said you also hate the man, even though you do not wish him harm. Maybe trust that this man will handle the letter and its contents. Maybe it is best for him.

Just ignore her, now we know ones reality and just stay away. Be happy!

what actually happened, I do not understand the purpose of your discussion, whether you have become the victim of infidelity or anything

You really love him despite of everything he did to you. That's great don't put grudge in your heart. About the girl just don't mind her. Give your best smile to her, because smiling to someone you hates you is one best way of revenge. Good luck femme.

eurekafemme, No offense and I really don't mean to pry here. Why are you reading his emails? Does he know that you are reading his emails? I hope that you can understand my concerns here where I cannot help wondering if you are having trust issues with your husband. So far, I have to say that the lesser you read and be carried away by these emotional mails - the better. Trust is really a legitimate issue in every relationship and I really hope that the both of you will be able to work things out. I just have to say that you need to really to be able to trust your husband that there is really nothing between the both of them and that this is just another spurred individual who just needs to rant. Actually this is quite a classic situation because it's when the unconscious aspect of love is brought forth consciously through various catalysis and situational factors, it often creates a demand so robust that it strikes you like a growing hunger and subconsciously relates an unfathomed behavior you too failed to understand. It's quite simple here: in the beginning, you tell yourself that you are merely viewing. You've claimed and appear to have a trait of being a rational person - it kinda affirmed my belief that this 'rationalization, logical, systematic and organized persona' in face of love acts, pretty much as a facade in your earlier denial to foster a path towards creating probable communication and eventually a solution to all the dysfunctions with or without the consideration of this person. If you feel ambivalent about mind games and you can't handle such tricks, just quit torturing your relationship and yourself - you are probably better off talking it out with your husband which is really what is needed. Or else, throw in the towel and move on separately as it will not only regulate your loss more effectively this way - it will make both of you better individuals at the end of the day. If you find it difficult to face subtle rejection, then it might be somewhat beneficial for the both of you to remain separated for a period. It doesn't mean two people who like each other would end up being together as the ultimate acceptance of a relationship is a complex model and isn't as linear as you originally understood and perceived. In love, being rational served little purpose - it's all about interpersonal skills and experience. Take care and have a nice day. P.S. I hope that you are not confused here and I do apologize if my views are found off tracked. I just want to be objective here.

It is normal to react the way you feel. But you're right, it's her fault if she feels being used and abused. And it really feels disgusting when someone insulted your loved one. Don't pull her hair for it will just makes her satisfy in ruining your day as well as the relationship.

To how you give out your point of view, I think the man doesn't really have that clean reputation or the like so I guess at time, he deserves accept comments coming from people whom he have hurt. I don't really think that the girl will just make up something like that if not with the guy's fault. I hope you won't get offended but I guess you have to calm yourself and think things straight. Go back from what really did happened.

Well, I guess it's a normal feeling for you to feel that. That are some degree wherein despite the fact that someone who used to be close to us is doing a crap, when other people tell them craps, we would naturally feel bad. Oftentimes, we cannot bear the heavy words that we would take back those words to the person who says it. Keep cool. We don't know how much the guy may have hurt the girl for her to spill it all out. No matter what came between them, it can only be resolved by them.