Do you allow your girlfriend go out with another guy?
By daren86
@daren86 (56)
Malaysia
November 13, 2010 2:01am CST
My friend, a girl lately had an arguement with her boyfriend. The situation is like this, the boyfriend was out station to work in another country and my friend told him that she will go out with a bunch of friend. But in the end, the outing only left her and another male friend, so my friend SMS her boyfriend, telling him the situation. The boyfriend was very angry because he think that my friend should not go out with the guy, and he even said to my friend it's better end the relationship and be friend. I understand the feeling of worrying and dislike our own girlfriend to go out with another guy, but it's not my friend did it on purpose as she also knew it last minute. Plus, the sentence "i think it's better end the relationship and be friend", it hurts my friend alot. What is your opinion?
2 people like this
15 responses
@free_man (7330)
• United States
13 Nov 10
Hi Daren and welcome to my lot. I say if a person can't wait for the one they say they love then it is better to end the relationship and move on. If my husband worked out of town I would find another girlfriend to hang out with not another guy friend. I think if you really love someone you should be able to withstand being apart.
@daren86 (56)
• Malaysia
13 Nov 10
hi, thanks for the situation sharing. My friend actually wants to meet with friends (both males and females), but she only know most of them can't make it last minutes, which she already on her way to meet them. So in the end she only met with another guy friend, and she directly SMS her boyfriend about the situation. It's not that my friend wanted to do it on purpose, and my friend really hurt when the boyfriend directly said "it's better to end the relationship and be friend". Why can't stand in my friend point to think 1st before get mad?
1 person likes this
@free_man (7330)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Hi Daren. You didn't say in your original post that your friend was going to meet with girls too you said she had decided to meet other men. If you love someone you would know that it isn't lady like to go to meet with friends that are male without someone else with her. It just isn't lady like to meet other men by yourself. I wasn't brought up that way. But if your other friend isn't happy with it then his girlfriend should do his wishes. Out of respect for each other.
@johney264 (544)
• China
13 Nov 10
My best advice is to spend some time thinking about what you truly want. do you want to try to save your relationship? or you want. it to be over? if you want it to be over, then confront doing so. will almost certainly destroy whatever trust is left in your relationship; on the other hand,if you want to try to work at fixing your relationship. our best advice is to her about how you are feeling, before she goes on a date with someone else. and we sugest that you talk to her about your feelings rather tha confronting her.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
13 Nov 10
Hi daren: I don't understand why he does that. I think that is not about "allowing" your boyfriend/ girlfriend to go out with another person. We have to understand that we can't control people. It's their decitions and how they value a relationship what make things last. We have to trust on the persons we love and tell them what we think about another person but it's up to them to go out or not. I think I would only be jelaous if there's an important reason that would makes me think that the guy my girlfriend is going to go out with is no good. Thanks for asking us this question. Have a nice day.
ALVARO
@damned_dle (3942)
• Philippines
13 Nov 10
After knowing that there will be only two of them to go out, your friend should have just called the outing off. That should have solved the problem.
@superbug (21)
• India
13 Nov 10
Hi Daren, indeed a nice topic u chose to come up with.
Well, as for me, its not that I don't "allow" my gf to go out with another guy. It's simply that I don't recommend and encourage such things. And the reason is quite obvious. It's one of the basic instincts of the male species to be protective and sensitive towards their "territory" and their women.
But as you have put it in your post, that what had happened to your friend was something totally unexpected and unplanned, so I guess, it would have been a more matured and wise stand on her boy friend's part, had he decided not to raise any objections on that particular occasion (unless of course there was a valid reason to do so).
Have a nice day :)
@NicoZieg (591)
• Denmark
13 Nov 10
Well for me it would be hard to allow my girlfriend to go out with another guy, but if they had been friends for years, then I think you have to accept it, because if it was yourself, who had a good friend (a girl) and your girlfriend said, that she wouldn't allow you to go out with her, then it wouldn't be nice for you too. You have to trust eachother in a relationship.
@daren86 (56)
• Malaysia
13 Nov 10
I can understand the boyfriend feeling, but my friend didn't do it on purpose thought. I think the boyfriend used a sentence that hurt my friend a lot. Plus, she already SMS her boyfriend once she found out only her and another guy friend left for the outing (she only know when she already on the way to meet her friends).
@shaggin (72021)
• United States
14 Nov 10
Yeah I think that if the girl found out it was only going to be her and another guy then she shouldnt go out at all. To many times people cheat on their significant other because they are hanging around someone else and wind up attracted to them. Its sad. I hope that all works out with this couple though.
@simonelee (2715)
• China
17 Nov 10
Hello there. First month of our relationship i avoided to meddle in his personal life because before we met she already go out with friends and i know she is surrounded by men and most of them are really interested in her. I even allowed her to go out with her ex's boyfriend pretending that I'm fine and I'm not affected even if she already asked me a hundred times to say "no" but still i push her to go out. Anyway, i go out too with friends but as the knight is falling i can't help but to worry, paranoia attacked me and eventually give her a ring asking how things going, we fought and i ran out of prepaid credit and it worsen the situation. Since then i showed to her my true feelings and be part of her decision making(she was only waiting for me to meddle).
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
14 Nov 10
Hi,
In the first place, your friend should not sms her boyfriend just to
let him know that she is out with male friend and since it is just normal
outing, I don't see the problem on it.
But of course, her boyfriend will get jealous and he gets angry because he loves
your friend very much. It is a very normal reaction.
And you should highlight to your friend...since her boyfriend is outstation to work,will he also go out with other girl friend without her notice. There is
always a possibility too.
So as long as they trust each other, I don't see any problem whether going out
with male or female friends.
If there is no trust, there is no point to carry on the relationship.
@ebuscat (5935)
• Philippines
14 Nov 10
For me not because the essence of love between us is not solemn.
@chuyins123 (2112)
• Philippines
13 Nov 10
Well, relationship could best be kept and prospered if we have that one main ingredient of a relationship called TRUST.
I do allow my girlfriend to go out with other guys under these conditions, the guy is a long time friend (better if i know the guy personall)or a cousin (or any guy of her kin). I could let her be with other guys also under good explanations and reasonable circumstances.
I trust my girlfriend as it goes with my love for her.
