How to over come bad things parents said to a child?

hi Katieo I took a lot of psychology classes in college a long time back and learned that we have sort of a tape going on in our heads replaying those hurtful things our parents said to us and about us.So you have to shut off those tapes just like in a tape recorder. Youi know you are now an adult and that those tapes have to be stopped . for a child she needs a person in her life that she trusts who can talk to her and make her feel good about herself again. Also if she is being verbally and maybe physically abused you need to call children's protective survices. no parent should be forever tearing down a hild's ego and making her feel bad about herself.

You need to realize that your thoughts control your actions. If you can get a handle on your thoughts and realize that you are ALWAYS in control of them (even when it doesn't feel like it) you will be able to conquer any feelings of sadness that could prolong themselves. I am a great believer in this! You should purchase the book 'The Feeling Good Handbook' by Burns. My psychotherapist recommended it to me as a form of bibliotherapy and it's very good! It really does help you to recognize your thought patterns and to change them. Now, as for forgetting... I think the first step in that is forgiveness. My father said some nasty things to me when I was a teenager... he was an awful drunk. But in his defense, I was never a door mat. I said some nasty things in return. I only remember one particular instance when he said something so cruel that six years later I still remember the exact words. However, I have forgiven him. I love him and know that I am not what he said and he was speaking out of irrational anger. You may never forget, but what you need to do is forgive and realize you are better than any hurtful words that come your way. It may sound hard, but you can think these things and you can believe them!

I honestly don't think you get past it however, you do learn to live with it. I say this because my mother has said some pretty mean things to me as a child that I'll never get over however, I've learned to live with it. Things are much better now but there again, that could change on a dime so I keep my emotions behind a thick brick wall so I won't get hurt again. All you can do is be the best person you can be and that's it. Do all you can in a good way and do all you want in a good way meaning, no one gets hurt. And don't become your mother to your kids.