What are your "If it was up to me..." moments?

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I firmly believe that we set our own limitations. That we are the ones who build our lives contained by excuses---mostly to compromise; in consideration of other people, mostly for the betterment of the people we deeply care about. then, we start to suffer the consequence--the misery of our compromise, we start to wonder if it's worth it, or if the people we care about would be willing to go through the same range of compromise for us. Have you ever felt like this? You're not the only one. Say for example, you want to pursue your dreams, but you feel guilty because pursuing your dreams would mean abandoning much of your time spent with your family, your friends and your special someone. That eventually you find yourself adjusting your whole life for them. Or say, when you opted to spend your time alone to contemplate or study, but you wounded up letting your friends keep you company (and distracted...) just because you wouldn't want them to think that you're being cold, distant or unsociable. In big things or in small things, we all have our 'if it was up to me...' moments. What are yours? Do you do something about it? How do you think can we resole issues like this without appearing so self-centered? According to my best friend, "It's not being mean. It's self-preservation." Where then do we draw the line between self-preservation and being mean? Go share situations, let's see how we can help each other get out of such state. :)