being in love
loving someone
loving someone without expecting something in retu
true love
unconditional love
Do you expect your lover to love you the same way?
By aaronfyzeon
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
Philippines
November 18, 2010 3:37am CST
It is what we call unconditional love if we love someone without thinking that this person we really love deeply will love us the same way as we love them. But are you going to make a fool out of yourself if it is only one way and not so sure if this person you have chosen to love will love you like that?
Me? My favorite song is "Before I fall in Love" By Coco Lee. The lyrics is stating that we would want to know if the person is going to be at our sides if we need them the most before we draw ourselves into the ones we love. Before we fall in love we are making sure that it will not go wrong. That we will truly be happy with that person. Therefore, I will not pretend to the whole world that I wanted to feel loved also. Not only me who is loving.
Do you find joy in loving so much without expecting something in return? Are you a martyr for that person?
6 people like this
26 responses
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
19 Nov 10
I guess I am or was a martyr briefly. I loved me ex , or I Thought I did , but he didn't love me back. He disappeared and I was heartbroken.Luckily I met my guy. He fell for me Way before I fell for him. He was the one with the unconditional love and the patience to wait for me to realize I loved him! I Did take it slow , it took some time for me to trust that he loved me . But when I finally said I Love you to him it was real and unconditional! If I truly love someone it is unconditional . All I want is his happiness , period! With or without me.
1 person likes this
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
20 Nov 10
He says I was worth the wait. Thanks Have a great day!
1 person likes this
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
It must've been a great feeling for your guy to finally have your love after puttung all his efforts in loving you. That is really unconditional. Thank you for the nice response and have a great day.
1 person likes this
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
4 Jan 11
Every person has their own great value. It is really worth the wait to finally have your prize after the long sacrifice you have done.
1 person likes this
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
18 Nov 10
![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
1 person likes this
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
It is true that it is their decision if they will be showing you how much they love the other person. Some people are not that showy to the person they love. But the love they feel for one another is so intense. Well a little acknowledgment is a good thing to show if you are being loved in a great way. Thank you so much for this nice topic and have a great weekend.
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
20 Nov 10
Thank you for sharing. It is good that you do have a wonderful person that is loving you the same thing as you do. Having a big heart in loving someone is a good thing because you do have lots of love to give not only to him but the people around you like your friends and family. Have a great weekend and enjoy it with your loved one.
![](/Content/images/ajax-loader.gif)
@celticeagle (164045)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Nov 10
I think that because most of live inside our own heads for the most part that this could be true. It is only when we communicate with the other person and get to know what they are feeling that we really see their side and how different their feelings may be from yours and vice versa.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
20 Nov 10
Thank you for the response. I will have to agree with you that we should really know the true person both inside and out before we finally give in falling in love. It may show also a different level of showing of love to one another but then you are still loving that person and also that person is loving you back. With this you can care less to other things then. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (164045)
• Boise, Idaho
21 Nov 10
Know ourselves and others in a relationship is very important. The more we know the better off we are.
1 person likes this
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you so much for the nice response. Yes it should be fair. We should also be getting the same kind of love we give to our better half. Have a great weekend ahead of you.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
13 Apr 11
The most basic rule in love is ... to love. Love does not require the expense and do not account for anything. Do not you love a person that is in one way or another, one that you love and love for both. If you start looking for reasons to love love is already lost, and not because you did not find reasons to love her, you will surely find .... but just as many will find no one to love. In addition, as long as love's charm is natural, and a race like that gives me more than it seems farfetched. In love what is offered must be totally free, without any claim to receive something in return ... And if that means that in some cases only one person loves, we must know one thing, namely that no one promised us that this life is perfect and beautiful .... If so, there would be no wars, there would be violence, there would be no tears and everyone would love as much .... But unfortunately we live in a world that is not perfect .... But the greatest gift we have in this life ..... love it And in my opinion the most elementary rule in love is not to be loved but to love much and unconditionally .... So I see love, but it would be wrong ... each day passes ... a true test of love ... .. that is not conditioned by anything, especially in quantity .... And anyway, if we give everything in love ... when we do ... in another life? ... for those who keep the rest? ... for when ?....
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
13 Apr 11
Hello there! This is a really nice point of view. I guess many people are holding back from loving someone too much is because they are afraid to get hurt that much as well. Love is also having your mind set to the person who loves you. If you think this person who loves you deserves your love then why not give it. Our minds can be set to love the other person back as well. If we expect much to the other person if we are the one in their place then it will not be love at all but we are just opt to do the same thing done by them out of gratitude. I do agree that it is the greatest gift that we can do or offer. Because if we love somebody, the rest will come along. If we are the ones receiving that kind of love then we should be thankful and let us all not waste it or take it for granted. Thank you for this wonderful post. Enjoy the rest of the week.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
19 Nov 10
Its not like I expect him to feel exactly the same as I do. Its just I would like it to be on the same level. We've been together for almost 7 years. I know he loves me thats not the issue. I just wish he would show it more. During arguments I have commented on the fact that I thought I loved him more than he loved me. I told him that its clear to see that I put way more into this relationship than he does. Of course, no comment. Women are nurturers by nature. We tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves. Of course men have to be tough, hard and masculine. In this day and age thats not always a good thing for them. They lose out on a lot of good prospects because women are realizing that there are plenty of fish in the sea. If you dont love me the way I need to be loved, I'll move on and find a man who does. I believe in my current relationship you could call me a martyr. Wow I never really looked at it like that. Thanks for opening my eyes. Happy MyLotting dl
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
20 Nov 10
Hello there! Thank you for the nice response. It is true that every person has a different way and level of showing their love to the one they love. Some people are not really that showy in expressing their love and most of them are the men. It is ok to be a martyr to that person that you really love. But a simple acknowledgment from that person you are showing it would be just fine. Have a great weekend.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Nov 10
aaronfyzeon why must you settle for l oving one who might not love you , thats foolish, as you will just get hurt and unconditonal love does
not mean what you said, it is loving each other the way we are without e expecting each other to change a thing about your selves.No I was never
a martyr for anyone as my husband loved me just as much as I loved him. I wo uld never settle to marry someone who did no feel the same way I felt as that is just not fair to either person.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you so much for the nice response. I would never do injustice to myself either. It is just that I am really seeking to know if this person really loves me or not. Some people are not that showy in loving someone. A little acknowledgment from him would be fine for me with the love that I give for my partner. Have a great weekend.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 10
Hi.
Love is not able to transformed in real words...but It is kinda an action
in couples.
Of course, I hope my life partner will love me with his true heart as I am
doing so.I love him very much and try to be a good wife for him.
I don't expect him to love me in the same way like what I am doing.
But as long as he trust and respect me,then it should be fine.
We are two different person and we have our own thinking and way to
do things,so it is impossible to get him change totally just to suit on my own way.
I have to pay him a respect too and give him a privacy in his life.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you for sharing. That is so nice that you don't want to manipulate his life just to suit yourself with the kind of love you give to him. That is a great thing to respect his privacy and give him space as well. If we give something, we must not expect something in return. Just like love, it is a feeling that we show and we give. Have a great weekend ahead of you.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
18 Nov 10
Hi aaron fyzeon: First of love, we can't be tottally sure that someone really love us. We need to trust in him/her and second, we have to understand also that people love in different ways. I wouldn't expect that the person I love will love me the same way but I want that she loves me and shows me her love. Even if I can't be sure about this I hope i would chose the best for me. Thanks for asking us this question. Have a nice day.
ALVARO
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you so much for sharing. It is true that people can love in different ways and level. They may be able to love you greatly but the person is not that showy of his love. But a simple acknowledgment from that person will already be nice to have as a return of the love we give. Have a great weekend.
@emerillus (467)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
No I don't expect much anymore. There are some things I just couldn't change anout him and when I try, I'm the one who ends up getting hurt, so I just leave it as it is. he loves me yes, but not in the way that I want it. It's a good thing though, especially when he does something that surprises me, because I didn't expect it.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you for sharing. I love surprises so it is good that somehow he is still showing how much he loves you. Some people are not that showy to the person they love. But the love they feel for one another is so intense. Well a little acknowledgment is a good thing to show if you are being loved in a great way just like what he is doing. Thank you so much for this nice response and have a great weekend.
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
19 Nov 10
I guess that we all truly do feel differently, our feelings are different and we deal with things differently although sometimes we can be so similar in many things. I would love to feel true love and i would hope that the strong feelings that i have are also the same or very similar shared by my partner for me. Before we take the plunge of letting a person in and falling in love with them it is much easier to know that they feel a similar thing, that they too see a future ahead, if it is just one sided then you could have your heart broken early, or in time it may not be one sided. i wouldlike to know they feel as much for me as i do for them and then it is much easier to let them into our hearts hopeing that we don't have our heart broken.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I agree that each people has a different approach in dealing with things and this goes out the same in loving someone as well. we may experience a different level of love in one person that would also make us love them in unconditional manner.
Sometimes we really are afraid to get hurt that is why we tend to know if the person is somehow going to love us back as well. Thank you for sharing and have a nice day.
@nirvik12345 (66)
•
19 Nov 10
I also expect my lover to love me at the same way. But i don't mean it, that she always stay with me, always spend time with me. But i expect she loves me, and only me. If i fall down in a problem, then she also stand for me. Other than this thing i nothing expect to her.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
20 Nov 10
Well that is good for you that she is just there with you if you have problems. Thank you for the nice response. Sometimes we should not really expect that much from our lover. We will just be feeling down if they did not meet the expectations that we have from them. But we are just human beings and not martyrs. It is good that you do only have a less but practical expectation from her. Have a great weekend.
@tedeng06 (60)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
You can tell if the person will love the same way you did. You can't see it but you can feel it the way the person talks to you the way the person will find time just to be with you and the way the person will care for you. Unconditional love is the kind of love that will be given to the person despite of his/her imperfection. That's what they call unconditional love as the saying goes "Love is Blind."
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
20 Nov 10
Thank you so much for that nice response. Yes it is more likely the same that love is blind and unconditional love because you will just have to swallow everything that is not right being done to you by the other person and wait until such time that a person is already loving you that much. Have a great weekend.
@ganeshprabhuk (1722)
• India
18 Nov 10
Of course I love a person without expecting anything in return. Only a beautiful smile and of course few message from my lover which would feel me more happier which is more precious than their presence. Good to be in love and to be a unconditional lover always. Love is always unconditional. Dont expect anything from the person who you love a lot.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you for the nice response. Indeed we should not expect something in return if we love somebody. just a few acknowledgment would be enough. Have a great weekend ahead of you.
@ganeshprabhuk (1722)
• India
18 Nov 10
Of course I love a person without expecting anything in return. Only a beautiful smile and of course few message from my lover which would feel me more happier which is more precious than their presence. Good to be in love and to be a unconditional lover always. Love is always unconditional. Dont expect anything from the person who you love a lot.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
18 Nov 10
Thank you for the nice response. It seems that you already found a person that will drive you insane if you are not without her. If not then I still thank you for the nice input with the discussion. A good smile from her means she is acknowledging the efforts that you gave her as showing your love from her. A simple smile will be really all fine with us then. Enjoy the weekend to come.
@maean_19 (4655)
• Philippines
18 Nov 10
A love relationship should be mutual and should not be one way. Never expect though that the degree of love would be the same. If you love your guy more than he loves you, then make an effort to let him love you more. It is still normal as long as the love do not fade away. It has to be a continuous process. Love may fade when it is taken for granted, so never allow it to happen.
If the love is one way, I have to let it go of it. That will not be healthy for me and the relationship. It may be true that love can be developed, but if you have done everything and it went the way which you do not expect then give it up. Do not stay in a relationship that is full of pretention.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
20 Nov 10
Thank you so much for the nice response. Yes Love should not really be taken for granted as it will soon fade away. As long as you both love each other no matter what the degree of level of love that you give it wouldn't matter that much. A simple acknowledgment will be fine though if you love one person that much. Some people are not that showy in loving someone as well. Have a great weekend.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
18 Nov 10
My hubby and I have been together for almost 15 years. 9 of those married. A lot of that time, we haven't always been on the same page at the same time. We love each other. But I don't think we have ever asked the question "do you love me the same?" That we love each other and are building a life together seems to be enough. Love the song though.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you so much for sharing. It is good that you do not need to be emphasized how much he loves you. There is no measure of love on how we give it. It is just a matter of sharing the lovely experience loving one another. Have a great weekend.
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
Thank you for the very brief response. Have a great day saqi.
@taz_dolly (93)
•
18 Nov 10
No i am not martyr for a person its unfair if my partner would return my love what the sense of staying in that relation grow up
@aaronfyzeon (1920)
• Philippines
18 Nov 10
Yes we are not martys... But then some people would do that to the person who they really love. It is good I still never have found that person yet that will drive me into my knees. But if that time comes, I will be ready for it and accept it wholeheartedly. Thank you for the response and have a great day.
![](/Content/images/loading.gif)