How would you tell your friends that they are unwanted to the group?
By SimpleBB
@SimpleBB (1329)
Philippines
November 18, 2010 5:20am CST
I have cirle of friends from different groups. I have my former high school friends, college friends, friends in church, and from the office. I used to adjust with their different attitude, mannerism, habits and character. And sometimes, I can even gather them together despite that they from different groups.
But there are some of them who were not accepted by the others. Most can get along well, but there are these two who usually casted out for their attitude. Most of the groups find it difficult to get along with these two. They keep on complaining about what they don't want about them. And it is me who they wanted to tell the two about that
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These two girls are unaware that they are unwanted to the group. But I don't know how to tell them. I myself can bear with them, but not always though. But I'm afraid they take it personally against me
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How can they be inform of the situation without hurting their feelings? Any ideas?
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These two girls are unaware that they are unwanted to the group. But I don't know how to tell them. I myself can bear with them, but not always though. But I'm afraid they take it personally against me.
How can they be inform of the situation without hurting their feelings? Any ideas?1 person likes this
10 responses
@danverxxcore (347)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I have been like this before too. I didn't bother about them complaining. I didn't do anything about it at all. There is nothing you could possibly do, unless if you have the confidence to confront both of them one by one. Personally if that's the situation, I will stick to one group just to avoid conflicts but it doesn't mean your friends will be divided. It is not necessary to keep in touch with all of them as I also did that before. Just jump from this group to another if possible. Don't gather not like minded people, unless if they do it by themselves without being forced. Peace out, just giving my opinion about this.
@toniganzon (72535)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
There's no way of telling your friends they're unwanted without hurting them, but it's better to tell them now and be honest because they might hear it from others and get a wrong picture of you. They will be angry but only for a little while but at least you were honest with them. And you said so yourself that you can handle them, but the others can't, so it's not your fault at all.
Sometimes friends expect their friends to be honest with them no matter how painful things are. I would be angrier if my so thought friends would just ignore me and not help me correct my mistakes if i ever did one. So talk to them and try giving them a chance if you think you are a real good friend to them.
@rovered777 (649)
• United States
19 Nov 10
Don't tell them or directly go face to face with them, as letting them know this way will be devastating and a wasted effort. Its always best to just ignore them, as these friends will slowly recede away just the way all the hairs in front of the head leave due to a receding hair line. Being too formal or argumentative with them will only heat up the situation, and you may even be penalized due to it.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
18 Nov 10
Easy! You don't tell them. Let them whine. Anyone wanting to force themselves into my life are soon on the "weeding list"! I had a neighbor barged in, with her mother, to my family gathering. I let her, but I quickly "weeded" her from my presence in her life!
She wants to why and is constantly pestering my kids for information. I tell them, she wouldn't understand The List!
Shes not the only one!
@no2identtt (14)
•
18 Nov 10
just tell them the truth in funny way and make some advice what to do so they can change if they really like to hang out maybe they will try to change.. or just let them feel that they don't want in the group
@reiden123 (63)
• Indonesia
18 Nov 10
Friends are peoples that we love and care. Friends are not just the peoples we often see, eat lunch together, or go to school/work together. We will feel comfortable if we close to them. And for some reason, we can make a sacrifice for their needs. Your two unwanted "friends" are being rejected by you and your groups for their attitude. Is it their attitude that disliked by your groups, or you just can't help them change? If they are still can change to the way your groups want, why don't you try it. Even if it fail, I think your two friends will realize that your groups are not comfortable with their presence. And one last question from me. Is your groups are still thinking two unwanted peoples above as being "friends" or just as the one they know? Think about it carefully my friend.
@KSmith526 (58)
• United States
18 Nov 10
I'm happy to hear that you have many friends to hang out with and keep in touch. It seems as though the girls who are unwanted somehow find out about the get together and show up. If the group does not want the girls to participate than everyone else in the group should make sure to not contact them and to also find a new hangout spot. Eventually, they should get the message and find something else to do. If everyone else is in agreement that they don't want them in the group, then you shouldn't take it personally.
