crisis in family
By wongchoiyee
@wongchoiyee (7413)
Malaysia
November 21, 2010 11:10pm CST
Today my mother fell down and when I rush there she already sat down and sprinkled her hand. My brother blame me that I don't hold my mother.
He said I did not care for the family at all, lazy but not depressed to work. He is a lawyer and he said he wants to sue me. We argued for 10 years already b4 this incident.
He said later he'll own the house and I got to moved out.
He did not cares for me and I am not yet able to make enough money to move out. What should I do?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@savypat (20216)
• United States
22 Nov 10
Just write out the facts. Let's see, did you cause your Mother's accident, are you less then prompt to do what is needed in the care of her? If not, then what can be done in addition to protect her? If you did nothing wrong then how can you be sued? To sue someone costs money even for a lawyer, do you have things he can have take away by the court? It takes some time to sue, especially in civil court. All these things can work in your favor. It would cost him money to care for your Mother. I think he feels badly about the accident and like many people when that happens he looks for someone else to blame. If you can't tell him, tell yourself that you did nothing wrong, sometimes these things happen and that you are glad your Mother was not hurt worse. In the mean time look for a way to improve her care and to get yourself out of the situation where your brother can target you. Blessings
1 person likes this
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 10
Argument among the siblings happens in every family, I believe your brother do not really meant it for what he said. Since he is a lawyer and having a good income, why he did not take care of your mother but let you who do not have work to take care your mother? And since he did not take care of your mother, why doesn't he complaint so much? I think he should take the responsibility to take care of your mother as well. He actually have no right to chase you out of the house if the house is not under his name. He have no right to do that too, why not talk to your mom and about this and if the house is under her name, you can ask her to transfer the house under your name and that you will be safe.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
22 Nov 10
Hi wongchoiyee,
Feuding families do exist, so don't think that you and your family are the only ones who fight.
I don't know what your mother's medical condition is all about or if you are suppose to be taking care of her. If she is unable to take care of herself and you are unable to watch her, then maybe someone could be hired to come in a look after her. Your brother, the lawyer, should know how to get your mother the helper she need.
The relationship between you and your brother seem to be pretty deep dislike. If he is serious about owning the house and wanting you to move out, you should be making plans to do that. He may get really angry one day and that would be that. Plan ahead and stay as long as you can.
Take care of your mother, she is the only one you got.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
25 Nov 10
It is natural that there will be conflicts within a family. However, I don't think that it is acceptible that your brother is treating you the way that he is. That just seems abusive to me. If you don't mind me asking, what is the reason that he is giving for wanting to sue you? Just because your mother fell? To me this is taking things way to far and I really don't think that this kind of behavior is acceptable. You all need to sit down together and discuss everything that is going on with your family.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
Yea, he blame me about my mother and about the past the way we argue.
But now, no more already because we already grown up. And he can't let go of the past.
@tickles23 (45)
•
22 Nov 10
Arguments are a normal thing that happens within the family. But you've said that you and your brother argued for 10 yrs already, which I think is not a common situation between siblings. I guess you just have to prove to your brother that what he says about you is not true, show that you can be as hardworking as your brother. And if he sees the positive changes in you, most probably, he's not going to ask you to move out.
1 person likes this
@donharis (305)
• Pakistan
22 Nov 10
Salam Brother! U hav a common problem concering to todays Generation, I suggest u Just leave Ur Home at once any Just come to face to face to the world,n accept the challenges, if u cant find a living thn i suggest u travel, but dont stay thier or your brother will always dishonnor u, as u said he is a lawyer thn it will b stupid to do reasoning with him, Just Forget for a year or two tht u have any faimly etc..Come out of tht house n accept the challenges of world, at 1st every thing seems diffcult, but i promose u when once u satrt it will b a piece of cake..Good Luck!
@starlight_starbright (810)
• Philippines
22 Nov 10
That's tough! And I am sorry to hear that. Things will get worse if you don't move out but in legalities, you have all the rights to stay there and your mom can only set you out of your house. Not your brother. Not just because he is more stable than you are, it gives him the right to simply step on your rights to stay there. That house is not his. Not unless your parents have put it in writing, testifying that they have chosen your brother to be the only heir of that house. That is so cruel of him. If you don't have a living to support your needs yet, I guess there is no need to move out. You tell him that you would as soon as you can manage to live alone. Do the best you can and prove to him that he is wrong from thinking that you are not concerned about your family. Cheer up! A family will always be a family. Just wait till the fire goes down. 
