Has anybody said something about your appearance that affected your body image
By cuckoosnest
@cuckoosnest (250)
Philippines
November 21, 2010 11:53pm CST
Theoretically I get it. It's not all about how we look? It's about how I persevere to contribute and live my life.
In reality however I sometimes get affected by off hand comments about my appearance. When I was young my grandmother (I'm not close to her, so..) told me I had a big nose. I do. But that's because somewhere along the way, my ancestor's blood got mixed up with Aryan blood. So instead of having the usual small nose,I got an unusually high bridged and prominent nose.I learned to be comfortable with it though. I stood out, okay I understand it. But that doesn't mean I was not presentable or ugly even.
The other day, someone said "You have a very big nose, no offense." Instead of honoring the latter disclaimer, I just did that. I got offended. Was it the tone of the statement? Was it the truth of the statement? Was it the person who delivered it? I really don't know.
Has anybody said anything about that way you look that made you feel uncomfortable with yourself? How do you deal with it?
3 people like this
6 responses
@highschoolrazors8547 (293)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 10
Nope.So far,some people do comment on my personality.I even got the award of most annoying student in my university.To me,what people say depends on their impressions.They can be both negative and positive.To me,I just take everything the positive way.
1 person likes this
@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
22 Nov 10
Most annoying? I can imagine you as the Rachel Barry (Glee) type of student. Or are you just too outspoken? That's really big of you for taking everything positively.
1 person likes this
@highschoolrazors8547 (293)
• Malaysia
22 Nov 10
I am kind of a directive guy.Yes,outspoken.But I tend to critic people in front of them,rather behind them.:P
1 person likes this
@MamaAngel (11)
• United States
22 Nov 10
Someone once told me many years ago it looked like I didn't have eyelashes. They are not long and they are light. I have been self-conscious about it ever since and have not went anywhere without mascara since that day.
1 person likes this
@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
And I just bet that you look quite alright even without mascara. IT's just so sad how other people's views affect us. I try to stop myself but I guess I'm not that strong yet.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
22 Nov 10
I like to say it this way. I'm in shape , round! I have always been fat. So when kids teased me about my weight I ignored them , in fact I acted as though they didn't exist. I had good friends but I never thought I would be loved because of my size. Fast forward til now. I am still curvy. In fact I'm about the same size I was in highschool and my guy loves every curve! He tells me I'm beautiful each day! so I have experienced it both ways. The moral. Just be you and there is a someone out there who will love you for it!
1 person likes this
@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
I think people are alway affected by their biases. I know some people who have tried to be open minded and they are way better than the first time I've met them.
Finding that pool of people who will accept you for who you are is such a tedious process that it sucks sometimes.
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
29 Nov 10
for sure yes, all my life
some of them are concerned, that's why they said it
some of them meant to hurt
I used to feel bad about myself and now I don't care LOL
feeling bad or worry doesn't help
I either ignore them (usually a bunch of them)
or hurt them back when I have the chance
the latter, I realize makes me look bad instead so I try to ignore instead
I am not the prettiest or tallest person
I don't need to be those to be happy or successful anyway
I have my own business that survives recession
I have a husband and great friends who care for me and I care for
I am always provided even if I am not rich and have to keep a budget
why should I pay attention to meaningless chatter ?
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
22 Nov 10
oh, a lot of times. there are a lot of mean people who thinks they are perfect.
one time, i went to the office wearing a skirt, in high stiletto. the officemate told me that my getup is nice and the shoes but my feet looks bad. how did i deal with it, you asked. i ignored her. i would not let any other people ruin my confidence. it is not healthy at all to be telling people about their flaws bluntly and unsolicited. if she was a friend, it could have been a nice gesture but it sounded like an attack more than a concern.
one time, i went to the office wearing a skirt, in high stiletto. the officemate told me that my getup is nice and the shoes but my feet looks bad. how did i deal with it, you asked. i ignored her. i would not let any other people ruin my confidence. it is not healthy at all to be telling people about their flaws bluntly and unsolicited. if she was a friend, it could have been a nice gesture but it sounded like an attack more than a concern.
1 person likes this
@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
There you go! Unsolicited, and just pretending to be helpful.
Sometimes people mistake tactlessness for frankness.
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
22 Nov 10
All the time. I also have a pretty big nose and when people make snide comments about it (I hate the term 'no offense' by the way. I mean... why'd you even say that if you weren't looking to offend someone? No offense.) it makes me really self-conscious about it.
I also don't like it when people guess that I'm older than I really am! It makes me feel super self-conscious. I'm 19! I don't want to worry about how much I'm aging just yet!
@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
Yep me too! That no offense stuff is obviously an "offense" meant. Shoot me for being vain but I guess all people are vain in their own special way.
1 person likes this
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
23 Nov 10
It's just when you're saying something like, "Your nose is really big"... I mean... that's obviously offensive. And why in any circumstances would you need to bring up how big someone's nose is? If you think you need to clarify that you mean no offense... maybe you're out to offend.
I don't think it's vain. It's good to feel confident about the way you look and when someone goes looking to tear you down that just doesn't put one in a good mood.
@cuckoosnest (250)
• Philippines
24 Nov 10
I really agree with you. Especially if that someone is just telling you something bad just to make her/him feel good about herself. It's mean to make someone feel bad for your "confidence'S" sake.
I think I read somewhere,, if a person unconsciously over clarifies it just means she's lying about what what she is saying.
