Do kids have to much freedom?
By kayla_7602
@kayla_7602 (704)
Canada
November 23, 2010 10:22am CST
My husband and I have 2 sons. Lately we have been running into problems with our 8 year old son, when it comes to freedom and what he is allowed to do. Most of the problems start becuase his freinds have all this freedom and my husband and I feel like 8 is too young for kids to be allowed to do all these things.
For example I think 8 is too young to go for walk into a town by himself or even with freinds. We dont feel like a group of 8 year olds can make the right descision when left by themselves. It may be when crossing a street, or deciding to play to close to the water, or being rude to adults, picking on other kids..or getting picked on the list goes on and on.
I dont want to be the over protective parent but there are alot of crazy people in the world who like to take children or do bad things to children. I dont want to take that chance, I think 8 year olds need protection and guidance not freedom to do as they please. But out of all of his freinds we seem to be the only ones who think this way.
What do you all think are we too over protectve or are we right in not wanting out 8 year old to have all this freedom?
7 responses
@Grolia (10)
• China
24 Nov 10
I think the two opinions both have their reasonability.You may give your child much freedom instead of restrain him.Or you can protect him carefully and don't allow him to do whatever he loves to.Both ways are correct because we can't say anyone of them does't have their ground.It is just a question of different conditions and different environment.It depends on yourselves to decide what you should do.And all is for your sons goodness.This is the final goal.
@rounin132000 (10)
•
24 Nov 10
The modern society gives more freedom to the children than they could handle. As a a child, you dont know how to grow-up by yourself until a certain age. That is why you need school and parents to be by your side all the time. If you dont have one of these you can do a lot of mistakes. Most of the children today are rebels. They are given too much freedom by their families. This is their parent's mistake. They ought to know that the freedom they give to their children is misunderstood. Another important fact we can think of regarding the freedom of children is their free will of spending money. Parents shouldt allow their children to spend money on whatever they want.
@kayla_7602 (704)
• Canada
24 Nov 10
I agree children do need people to watch out for them when they are still children. Science has proven that thier brains are not fully developed and are not developed enought to make reasonable descions and to understand the consequences of thier actions. They wont think about what happens after they go running on the ice covering the river. There brain dosnt think that far ahead yet. Yes most mistakes are not life threatning and they learn from them, buts its not a chance I want to take? I would rather be safe then sorry.
@kayla_7602 (704)
• Canada
23 Nov 10
I think sometimes that parents now a days just let them do it becuase it's easier then having to occupy them and tell them no and hear them complain. They just dont want to deal with the kids maybe? I dont know parenting is hard becuase you always want to make the right desicions and things arnt always black and white.
@_sketch_ (5742)
• United States
23 Nov 10
Not too much freedom, but not enough common sense and discipline. It seems that people don't know how to raise their kids anymore. Like in the movie "Grownups", all the kids were little idiotic brats. I'd say it all depends on the individual kid and situation. If I had a kid that young, I wouldn't really want them to walk around town unsupervised by themself or with friends, but like when you talk about crossing the street and playing too close to water and things like that, that kid is going to go off of what their parents have taught them. I walked home from school when I was that age and I didn't run out into the road or talk to strangers or somehow fall into a river or something because my parents taught me not to and I had common sense. Kids need to be allowed a certain level of freedom and independence or when they rebel, and they will, they will go overboard with it.
@kayla_7602 (704)
• Canada
24 Nov 10
I absolutely agree. I am not worried about my son running out into the road, or even talking to stranger. I dont trust strangers though not to come after my son of other kids even without the kids talking to them first. There are some crazy people in this world. When I say play near water I mean his 8 year old friends are allowed to go play near and even in the water (river) unsupervised. To me that is idiotic....accidents happen even to the smartest most educated kids.
I love the movie grown ups by the way...it was halarious!
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
24 Nov 10
Hi Kayla,
Yes, I do think children, these days, have too much freedom. There are a number of reason, I believe, for this freedom. First, I think the children are given this freedom because the parents are too busy with their own agenda that don't include the children, therefore, they allow them to roam on their own. Second, the children are from dysfunctional families and the parents try to compensate for this, and allow the children to do whatever they want to do.
Most times parents don't know who that children's friends are or where they are most times of the day. It is sad, but loose children are becoming younger and younger. Because of the children are having too much freedom, there are more and deviants being raised.
@kayla_7602 (704)
• Canada
24 Nov 10
Yes, they are getting younger and younger and I cant beleive it how young they are sometimes. We once had some of my sons friends come over they were 7 and 6 year old stepsister, they came from across town and brought thier 3 year old sister!!! I had never met any of them before, I did not know thier parents at all. My son was playing in my yard and I was BBQ'ing. I seen these 2 girls show up and then my they were playing my yard for a bit, and my son asked if they could play inside with some toys. I said yes, and went inside. About 10 minutes later the girl comes out and says my sister is 3 and I cant find her! I started panicking big time.
I start asking where they live, and where they came from. I then said well go with my husband to get your mom (didnt have phone numbers to call her)and look for your sister on the way. And the little girl says "NO, I am not getting in that car I dont know you"
I am thinking but you will come in my house! Ughh so my husband follows them, and it turns out the little girl left her sisters shortly after they left thier house and wondered to her babysister all by herself! And her big sister who were responsible for her didnt notice for over an hour!! I didnt know becuase I had never seen these kids before. And the mom didnt know until after everythign was over.
I could not imagine!
@neverbethesame (27)
• United States
24 Nov 10
I know what you mean. I have an 11yr old daughter. Her friends are allowed to walk into town, smoke, drink, stay out all night, texting, chats, etc...I just can't see it! It's gotten to where I monitor who she spends any time with and I make her check in often so I know where she is. It's a scary world and I feel too many parents are laid back and naive about the world. I've had bad things happen in my life so I don't live by the "it couldn't happen to me" rule. It has and it can.
@kayla_7602 (704)
• Canada
24 Nov 10
Yes, same here I have also had some bad things happen in my life, so I know if can happen to anyone at anytime. Of course you wont know it's comming, and it will happen on a day like all the other days. I dont want to live with that kind of "what if". When it comes to my kids especially I want to always know that no matter what I have done my absolute best for them.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
23 Nov 10
This depends a lot on where you live. In a small town where most people know each other, a group of 8 year olds may be safe on their own. Children used to have lots of freedom to run around outside all day with friends once their chores were done, because we used to live in a world where any adult would try to look out for, protect, and guide children if they saw them making wrong decisions. In big cities, most people will just think "who let that stupid kid run around by himself?" and not try to intervene if they see a child in harm's way (terrible attitude.)
It all comes down to what you are comfortable with as a parent. Perhaps you can suggest activities closer to home, because it is true that your child will end up shut out of the opportunity to make close friends if they are always together but he is not permitted to be with them.
@kayla_7602 (704)
• Canada
23 Nov 10
I do this all the time, suggest other things closer to home. We got a pool last summer, and this year are buying a big swing set and trampoline. We live in a mid sized town. But i dont think everyone is looking out for everyone...and we dont have any family or close friends in the town even.
Most of the time I can control the situation by inviting all his freinds here to play here and drive me crazy! But I still cannot imagine letting my 8 year old ride his bike across down and go play down by the water. I feel bad sometimes for my son, but I just cant let him do it!
