Why am I so interested in death?

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During this time I eventually realized, and not just me really, my friends and my family is also quite aware, if I had some sort of attraction / admiration / enjoyment of death. I began to realize as teens, whenever ordered to do something spontaneously, the first words out of my brain must be OFF. And I often really think about things after death. It is also starting to affect the works of me. For example, poetry, novels, or short stories. I wonder what it would do the same even death. If the novel or short story palace is usually the opposite of the main character was dead and the death in my novel that could happen in two parts, the front of the same ending. This is for me a kind of a freak among my friend's apartment. Sometimes they are often horrified look in my nature. Actually when I was 3 years my sister died, continues to age 7 years when my grandfather died, but his death was not very influential because I'm not too familiar with my grandfather's sister or that, knowing a child. Keep the time I was age 14, my grandmother died. I think my grandmother's death was the hardest because I was with my grandmother's relationship is very close, but the problem is the nature of my interest already existed long before the death of my grandmother. well, do you think ...., why I like that (have an interest in death)? is there any way I could reduce my nature like this?