Forgive & forget..is that easy?

They say that we can only forgive when we forget. I think this is all true in my case. I said that I have forgiven the people who hurt me but I really have not forgotten what they did.And, when something triggers the pain they caused me, it brings back that painful memories, feeling hurt and betrayed once more. Then, together with that feeling I remember the same disappointment and anger I felt with such people before. How can we forgive when we don't forget. It will keep on haunting us...the pain and the anger...

Yes, I admit that it is easy said than done. Forgive and forget is hard when you are get hurt badly, but I am sure time is an effective medicine to cure the wound and scar that ever hurt. Only if you are willing to, I am sure you could find your own way to conquer. I remembered that on one magazine, they said that if you would not or can not forgive or forget something, it is out of your subconscious or another personality inside your mind tells you not to. I still believe that one’s mind could fight over that personality if you keep telling yourself positively, do you think so?

for me, to forgive is easy as i don't really hold anger to anyone who hurt me. but to forget, that's the difficult thing to do. sometimes we thought that things happened in the past were already forgotten as years pass by. but when something or someone reminds us of what happen on the past, then memoirs will start flashing in front of our very eyes. we may not think of things that already happened but it doesn't mean that its already been forgotten.

Forgiving is never too easy, especially for a person like me, who bears grudges a lot. Just like last time, when someone challenged me to a fight at a supermarket, I still have not forgotten and I wish for that person to die immediately. Some people can forget incidents easily and I really admire these people. Sometimes, it's good to forget about it and move on. I'm still trying, though.

it depends on the person and how important they are to me.if it'someone i'm close to, or a member of my family,i make the "choice" to forgive them, since not doing this will cause either party to remain resentful.Forgetting is another matter altogether,the more you're hurt by someone close to you, the harder it is to forget, since it's very hard to understand why someone you care about would want to hurt you in any way and when in the company of this person, it's even harder. memories tend to linger much longer than the will to forgive.

It's easy for me to forgive people who've hurt me as long as they're not my relatives. But forgetting what they did is something that is difficult for me to do. My brain just refuses to forget all those painful memories.

I suppose it depends individually. For me, I can forgive others quite easily, I think it's because I am a forgetful person, hence 'forgive and forget' to me is quite easy. Or maybe I haven't been hurt very much before, hence I can forgive and forget. I have never been really angry with someone that I will remember the incident or can't forgive. I always think sometimes it's good to be forgetful, so we'll be happier. I choose to have a happy life, and I also choose to forget things which are not so happy.

i also face the difficult to forgive and forget just like you. i am only human. i only can forget it if i had amnesia but maybe that is the challenge to be a better man, forgive and forget

I am not really the type of person who could explain things like this, so I'll just share a quote that I truly can relate with: "It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." -- Rose Kennedy

Personally it is easier for me to forget than forgive but that is because I am so busy my memory is a bit fuzzy sometimes, lol. On a serious note though forgiveness is really hard especially if you have been hurt so bad. I mean there are just some things I think that can not be forgiven and all we can do is try to move on. I mean even to forget is very difficult for anyone even me who is prone to temporary amnesia as I like to call it, lol. It is a hard thing to do but I know of many people who are very easy to forgive and forget so I suppose that I could probably learn something from them.

It really depends on what we are forgiving and forgetting about. I have always held out the home that time does eventually heal all wounds. We are going to be able to take a step back and just figure out what exactly happened. Time does give us an interesting perspective about a lot of things and a fresh perspective that could give us some sympathy towards the offending party. Perhaps we don't have to like it, but at least we are going to understand all things considered. Still there are some big things that it might take a long time to forget. In fact, there are times where we might never forget and forgive them. There are just times where something is just one thing towards many. Normally the times that we cannot really forget is just one thing. It is a bunch of things and the sum of those things. It does put us over the top after a while and then it can be hard. Still time should really heal all wounds. The bigger wounds that have been re-opened time and time again, not so much.

I cannot say I forget things that are painful, but forgiving is a thing I have learned to do. That is the only recourse to being at peace with your self..

I used to but not anymore since i learned the truth about myself. When m actually being hurt i now direct myself to really see the positive things that came out of it. Now i can say that i can really balance my emotions.

I don't forgive easily but when I do, I forget the fault of the person. It's not easy to forgive, and much more to forget but if the person is important in my life I try to forgive (only if they're worthy of forgiveness and they ask for forgiveness) and forget to make our relationship work once more...but if the person is not important in my life, I'll forget them but I won't give them forgiveness...

I think forgiveness is hard and takes a lot of emotional strength. That's why I don't like when people categorize forgiveness as weak. It's not about being a pushover. It might be even harder to forget.

it`s hard.. but we must do it for our kindness

It depends how deep the pain is, even the pain is already gone the scar will still remind you what you've going through. Time really need for the wound to heel and by the time it was healed you'll never notice the scar that person left you. Forgive and forget is part of our life but it's not like a wind that passes through our skin then afterward it's already gone....

It's not really easy to forgive and forget someone who hurt us deeply. It takes time to heal any wounds caused by someone we love. If it comes to an ordinary person or not so close friends,it would be easier for to render forgiveness and forget everything. But when,some we love and whom we trusted almost our entire life did that thing to us,wow,i guess it takes half of our life to make a decision either. Anyway,living in peace is much better,so better forgive and forget though it really hurts. Somehow,someday,it will give us happiness within and learning from it will make us a stronger person too. Have a good day

Forgiveness is not an easy thing to do especially if the person who hurt us is our loved one. I believe that to forgive and to forget are abilities given to us by GOD.As for me, I can easily say "I have forgiven you", but when I remember or see the person who have wronged me, everything flashes back to my mind again. Then, I realized that I haven't fully forgiven the person. Therefore, we can only say that we have forgiven that somebody if when we see him/her we won't feel any hurt anymore for that person. For me, it's a choice to forgive and to forget.

in my case, it is very easy to forgive but so hard to forget. although you have forgiven him/her but the memory and the fact that he/she has sinned you still lingers.