Does he HAVE to talk to the ex so darn much?
By Amberina
@Amberina (1541)
United States
November 27, 2010 2:42pm CST
Ok How many of you feel it's ok for your new online going to meet in a week boyfriend to be talking to his ex all the freakin time about our relationship? When she calls he's like "oh I better call her back" I'm thinking WTH? He's a nice sweet man an very giving but this is driving me nuts the other night he has me on the phone an he is pming with her (he told me he was saying she had a bad day an needed to talk) and I had a bad day too and all I got was 'oh it will be ok' and then talked about other stuff. But he has me on the phone not saying a word for over an hour while he chats online with her.....I was &^@#^!!!! to say the least I finally told him I am going to bed I think I will talk to you tomorrow. And then I shot him an email saying I was mad at him and what it was about. What would you do in my shoes?
11 responses
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
29 Nov 10
I think if I were you I'd put the brakes on the relationship and the meeting. This man is clearly not over his ex in one way or another and until he is he's in no position to start a new relationship. It's not fair to you or any other potential partner and it's very disrespectful, in my opinion, to be discussing your relationship with someone so in depth - especially when that someone's an ex. And what he did to you on the phone was just plain rude and unforgivable. My advice is to move on and save yourself the pain and frustration. Perhaps at some point he will be ready to move on and wont be so attached to his ex but right now he sounds like he's just not the kind of person you want to be involved with.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
29 Nov 10
Hi Amberina...That wouldn't fly for a second with me. I am not the jealous type but when there is a history and I feel like he is giving her more attention than me...well...it's time for me to turn my attentions too. That may sound harsh but in my opinion, life is too short for competition..if I have to compete..then I don't want to win. Don't get me wrong...I would certainly end things before moving on but I haven't got the time nor the patience for a man that can't give me what I deserve. Selfish? No..just enough self esteem to say I deserve better than being 2nd. Take care.
@Elixiress (3878)
•
28 Nov 10
Since you have not yet met him in person, I am assuming this is a new relationship. A new relationship should be prefect (honeymoon period) if you are picking out flaws already then I don't think this is going to be the right relationship for you.
However, the fault you are picking is a good one, not really the talking to his ex part (this does not bother me) but him leaving you on the phone for an hour and not replying. That being said ... why on earth did you stay on the phone that long having a one sided conversation?
@vicereine (451)
• United States
28 Nov 10
Ditch him!! because if he is doing that now and you have not even met imagine if one day you meet and eventually move in together what will you do then. Just think he will be inviting her over for dinner and holidays and you will have to be the good hostess. I think if I were you I would definitely kick him to the curb. He is obviously not over his ex so if he is chatting with her so darn much then he could have her in my opinion. I sure do hope these things work out for you but I really hope that you don't stick around to find out if he will have a chaperon on his first date with you and we know who that could be right.
@DanaElein (7)
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
hey girl! open your eyes, he's not treating you right.
if your in a relationship, of course you priritize each other.
i'm not saying that you are the only people in the world, of course you can still make friends, but hey, i think it has crossed over the bridge of friendship.
we, girls, deserve the best so don't settle for anything less!
@hydrantachra (4)
• United States
28 Nov 10
it's not necessarily a big deal that he talks to the ex. Their break up could have been amiable. Some people can end an intimate relationship (e.g. being lovers) and still be friends afterward.
You should be worried though if there are signs that they are more than just friends. Be concerned though, if you can't trust him now, what's that going to mean for your relationship down the road?
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
28 Nov 10
You mean to say you already have a relationship through the internet? That's unusual. He actually made you fall in love over the net?
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
27 Nov 10
There is nothing wrong with amicability but for a boyfriend to be speaking on my time with an ex is not going to happen. As there is a reason why the ex is an ex and I am the current.
So it sounds, just like vomac posted above me that he is not over the ex yet and well you either have to let him know you have an issue with this or you will be surprised to hear that feelings have reconciled over there. Good luck though as this is wrong as if it were you doing this I am sure he would not be happy about it either.
@theDeranged (96)
• Canada
28 Nov 10
If you've only talked with him, and not yet spent any real time with him, he's not you boyfriend. He's just some guy on the internet. And if he's already behaving this way with another woman, it'll only get worse. Have enough respect for yourself to get rid of him, and find someone who'll treat you like you matter.
@mustread (224)
• Bulgaria
28 Nov 10
My ex-girlfriend used to do the same the first three months , damn i felt like an outcast. She spend more time with him than with me , she talked about him all day long , and at some point i think she wanted me to be jealous, well she got what she wanted.
I never told her how i really feel and I lied , cheated on her.
We broke up 3-4 months ago , but i miss her - not because we had a great love , but because she was interesting and I felt good talking to her.
If i was you i would do the same , because my past is reminding me not to start a relationship if the other person hasn't moved on.
Go on , you will find another guy who will respect you and make you even happier.
I wish you good luck , finding someone special
