asking for sexy pics
By nikramos
@nikramos (698)
Philippines
November 29, 2010 7:30pm CST
so im not sure if i should be asking this but it has been in mind for weeks now, been trying to find the answer myself only to be caught in a fight with my boyfriend just now JUST BECAUSE OF THIS...
his side:
so he was asking me for sexy pics, almost nude.. well yes nude pics, wtf.
said he misses me a lot and there are days he wants to do it with me but he cant because he is not physically with me at this time. it feels better and sexier for him to be doing it on his own while having my pic.
he feels bad about the idea that i was able to send pics to my ex before but why not now with him. (i know its silly of me to actually tell him about that but its part of the explanation why i cant, and why i wont)
no one's gona see anyway but him.
now he thinks i dont trust him and he's upset with me.
and worst, he thinks he's not important to me and that i dont care.
my side:
i cant do just that.
i understand his needs, yes, anything but sexy pics.
i explained to him about me having bad experience about it before (and its for real), thinking he would understand me and stop bothering me with those pics.
i agreed to him in a nice way that yes we can do the pics the next time we see each other again.
and now i feel bad and dont understand why he has to push me into doing this...
i told him to talk to me when he has thought about it deeply.
for some unexplainable reason, even if i made love with him already, i just cant be comfortable YET with the idea of exchanging pics with him and for that i think i shouldnt be pushed and he should understand and wait.
IM CONFUSED and badly in need of advise here or insights maybe.
women's or men's pov is all good.
am i being reasonable for not sending him sexy pics or im just being too sensitive and he's right all along?
3 people like this
6 responses
@shaggin (72131)
• United States
1 Dec 10
I think its wrong of your boyfriend to pressure you. Just because you dont want to send him sexy pictures doesnt mean that you do not love him. If you have had a bad experience in the past doing this with an ex then he should understand why you feel the way you do. He shouldnt try to make you feel bad and say that you dont trust him. Heck you never know who you can trust. Honestly the only person I know I can trust is myself!
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
wow so i guess something must be really wrong with him asking for the pics especially now this response came from someone who is not so conservative when it comes to intimate matters.
i just got tired of explaining and now he wont speak with me as if he's a kid- very childish really. but i love the guy whatever, just no pics sorry for him.
@shaggin (72131)
• United States
1 Dec 10
Haha I am assuming from your response to my comment that you remember me from around mylot. Its not that your boyfriend is wrong to ask you. Thats fine it never hurts to ask. What is wrong is that he is trying to make you feel bad and push you to do something that you arent comfortable doing and doesnt care about how it makes you feel. That makes me sad for you. That is pretty ridiculous that hes being so childish now to not talk to you. Its nice when they start showing their real colors and you can see what they are like. Some men are such babies when they dont get their own way all the time.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
that makes me an exception from all the girls he's been with. he really wont have his way all the time even so if he's older than me. he can actually ask anything because i can say ive given in to his other requests but not this. and it takes a lot for him to be able to convince me now.
and yeah ive seen you quite a lot around here. i actually look forward to your answers and vonmac's with regard to this kind of topic hehe as your responses can really be straight to the point and sensible.
@pressure14 (24)
• United States
30 Nov 10
From a guys side of things if you guys haven't been together that long those pictures won't be just for him. I know when I had girlfriends in the past I would show pictures like that off as a bragging type of thing cause I didn't feel the girl and I were really going anywhere. I used to tell them all the same thing no one else will see them but me... and when my buddies where around I would show them what I was playing with at the time. Not until I met my wife did I realize what I was actually doing. With my wife I never asked for those pictures nor did I want them just in case something did happen and someone picked up my phone or I left my computer open or something up. I don't want the world to see what is mine. That is my wife not just a toy. I know her so well I don't even need a photo of her naked I can close my eyes and see every detail of her body. I don't feel you are being to sensitive at all. Tell him if he wants pictures next time you guys are together you will be with him naked until he cant seem to get them out of his head. Although, if a camera/phone comes out then the deal is off.
@nikramos (698)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
so when and how did you know or what did you see in your wife that made you realize she's not worthy of being asked such pics?or that she deserves the respect (not that you didnt with your exes)?
i dont want to entertain the thought that he is just playing with me.
it complicates things because given all this situation, it seems like im lacking trust somehow. but i think im really sticking to my choice of not giving in.
@pressure14 (24)
• United States
1 Dec 10
Well my wife is someone I have known for many of years! We dated in high school for a couple o weeks! Stayed friends and then went our own separate ways in life I joined the military and she did what eve she was doing. Then I was home for a while and we ran into each other and had a blast and kept in touch. I respected her as a friend before anything I guess is a major reason why I would t have wanted to show anyone if I had pictures! So I guess it was justthat thing where I didn't see her as just another girl I saw hr as a best friend
@Bionicman (3958)
• Czech Republic
30 Nov 10
Isn't it better he jerks off to your pictures instead some random women?
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
30 Nov 10
No one can assure what is going on in our future.
At my place, there were many cases about the naked photographs which were used to threaten to any of the parties when a couple broke out their relationship.
If someone loves you, he should respect your decision and your feeling too.
You are the one to decide yourself. Take care.
@larrychen (165)
•
30 Nov 10
As lovers, we should learn to respect each other. Respect is so important here. However, it's not always an easy thing to get understood by each other. After all, people are different, thinking differently, acting differently,blah,blah. There is a way to go for every couple~~~
I am at your side. Your consideration is understandable here. I wish your bf would get this point. Good luck~
