Do you find nagging a nuisance?
By zandi458
@zandi458 (28102)
Malaysia
December 1, 2010 8:02am CST
Wives are often associated with nagging. Even the bible has taken notice of the evil trait of character that is called nagging, in the simple and forceful sentence - "A nagging wife is like a leaking roof."
But we should bear this in mind that nagging is not a bad habit confined to wives alone, it can be practiced by anyone. A husband too nag at a wife over what he thinks is her extravagance, a wife may nag at a husband because he is not making as much money as his neigbors or did not buy her a diamond ring that was promised. So naggers can be either partner. But nagging always strains the bonds of love, sometimes to the breaking point.
I promised my daughter that I would buy her a bicycle if she scored 5 strait 'As' in her government exam and she managed to get that flying colors result which qualify her for admission to a prestigious secondary school. Now on second thoughts I find it too dangerous for her to ride a bicycle as she is a tomboy and a daredevil so I changed my mind with a laptop instead. She refused to accept the change and insisted on the bicycle. She keeps nagging me day in day out. This nagging is really a nuisance and it is causing my BP to shoot up. 
But we should bear this in mind that nagging is not a bad habit confined to wives alone, it can be practiced by anyone. A husband too nag at a wife over what he thinks is her extravagance, a wife may nag at a husband because he is not making as much money as his neigbors or did not buy her a diamond ring that was promised. So naggers can be either partner. But nagging always strains the bonds of love, sometimes to the breaking point.
I promised my daughter that I would buy her a bicycle if she scored 5 strait 'As' in her government exam and she managed to get that flying colors result which qualify her for admission to a prestigious secondary school. Now on second thoughts I find it too dangerous for her to ride a bicycle as she is a tomboy and a daredevil so I changed my mind with a laptop instead. She refused to accept the change and insisted on the bicycle. She keeps nagging me day in day out. This nagging is really a nuisance and it is causing my BP to shoot up. 5 people like this
18 responses
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
2 Dec 10
Hi Zandi!
I definitely find nagging a nuisance, whosoever does it with me. I find it insulting and humiliating. I try not to do so and hurt others, nagging of any kind hurts and it is not a healthy habit, I believe.
On your problem, I feel it is difficult for you to make your daughter understand the problem, but you should coolly tell her what is better for her and you are the boss (to take the decision in this regard).
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
2 Dec 10
Nagging is extremely annoying no matter where it comes from! I make it a point not to do it although my husband may beg to differ! I would like to communicate clearly and up front and be heard without having to constantly repeat what I want. My daughter may classify me as a nagger when I constantly repeat my request for her to pick up after herself! I would go with the bike if I were you and restrict where and how long she would be allowed to ride it otherwise you may well lose your sanity!
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 10
I am already losing my sanity. The thing is I used to wake up very late and she might take the opportunity to go out to the highway riding her bike which is right in front of my house. I don't want to take the chances so I will have to delay buying until I move to my new place.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (47317)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
6 Jan 11
Nagging is certainly not something that I like. It's not something that I do, or try to do, as I don't like nagging, as I have mentionned. My mom does it a lot, and I really dislike. For some, nagging is their way of having other people do things. I don't think that some might mean to do it, but it's just the way that they do it.
1 person likes this
@kawalnarang (1095)
• Trinidad And Tobago
14 Dec 10
Thank God all I promise is food clothes and shelter,,actually I never told anybody but try to bring it as long as possible,,God does the final plan anyway,we are all accustomed to nagging,, I don't put out any of it ,(for the last 8 or so years),No help arguing anyway.None of us wins,but the doctor welcomes u as he gets paid .
@srjac0902 (1169)
• Italy
4 Feb 11
I think when, when they nag its because they are frustrated and not loved by their husbands , if daughters , by their parents. Wives if they are treated as beloved Mistress with respect and tenderness yes the wives become more soft and understanding
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Dec 10
I don't think u should have told her that & not follow through w/it.I'd probably ne nagging at u to, lol.
1 person likes this
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
2 Dec 10
I don't like nagging...I think nagging can be avoided if we do what we are asked to do then nagging won't happen yes?...in this instance you promise your daughter [ I guess a promise is a promise] to buy her a bicycle if she had her strait 'As' and she did [ by the way congrats to her and you!] soooo I guess now you should live up to your promise right?...I learnt in my life to never promise what I can not give...and if I promise something I will deliver even if it kills me!
I grew up riding horses, and then bikes [I was a tomboy, according to my parents] and yes I had bumps and bruises[ never a broken bone, thank Goodness] but then it was all part of growing up! today I Am thankful for that it gave me the courage and what it's take to face the world.
@myfb2009 (8296)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 10
Sometimes, we do nagged our partner due to certain matter which we feel is right in our eyes. But on certain time, our partner do nagged us, because he disagree with our view or action. That's quite usual scenarios in our daily life. The most important is, we should know whether that nagging is useful or not. If it is useless and don't help to solve the actual problem, then the nagging would be a nuisance. As for your case, because you don't want your daughter to take the risk, so you had decided to change your promised gift to your daughter. Since you are firmed with your concern about her safety, try to explain to her about your concern. Sometimes, a direct explanation regarding a situation, can helps to solve the problem.
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
1 Dec 10
Haha! Definitely! My mother nags at me on every single thing she could find. Well if you want me to list it, then it would be, making the bed, folding the clothes, lighting the joss sticks this and that. Hearing these naggings really make me mad and I wish there was a kind of gadget to shut those naggings and turn them into energy to power up our appliances, LOL. What an idea. Well, I think it's best to keep your promise for your child. The most you can do would be to keep a watchful eye on her and let her cycle in the neighborhood.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 10
Mothers are typical naggers as they carry the mandate to mold their children to do household chores and it is not without valid reasons why mothers nag all the time. I have overlooked the danger of the busy highway right in front of my house when I gave my promise. Bowing to her nagging is only inviting problems later on.
@Professor2010 (20162)
• India
1 Dec 10
Let me congrat your daughter for the sucess first
About nagging, i agree with your opinion, it is certainly not fight or disagreement.How old your daughter is? As you are talking about a secondary school, i presume she is not aged, so her nagging about bicycle is justified, she would enjoy riding it with friends..
In my opinion give her the bicycle now and the laptop on her birtday..
Thank you so much for sharing this story.
Professor ‘Bhuwan’. . Cheers have a lucky day ahead.
God bless you. Welcome always.
1 person likes this
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 10
The problem is when I bought her a vollyball last month she goes to the main road to dribble the ball. The road fronting my present dwelling is just a stone throw and I fear she will ride her bike in this busy street where big cargo trucks are plying on this road every now and then.
@Memnon (2170)
•
2 Dec 10
A nuisance it may be, but you did promise. You are lucky to have a daughter that would chose exercise over sitting in front of the TV/ laptop. Make it a proviso of having a bike that she wears a helmet, and reflective gear/ lights in the dark.
Like it as not, she will be a daredevil with or without the laptop. A computer will never satisfy an adventurous child: it would have me, as I was a bookish kid; the worst torture afforded to me was to play idly on a beach when I could have been reading. My father resented my interest in books and learning.
I appreciate your concerns, but children rarely change if you try and force the issue. Make sure that she is well protected. She is obviously a clever girl who lived up to the promise that she made to you. Moving the goal posts is hardly fair: and may discourage her in the future.
You might find my offering less than palatable, but from a man who as a boy was denied the tools to better himself for a parent's financial gain, you are best off fulfilling your promise and let her grow of her own accord.
@sweetmary86 (822)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
im sick and tired of being nagged everyday by my dad. even early in the morning in the dining table. women are supposed to be the naggers but in our home its different... i know he will never change but i also know he wont be around forever. i just hold my temper cuz its really annoying but sometimes i also flareup when i cant bear it.
1 person likes this
@saqi78 (1402)
• Malaysia
1 Dec 10
Hi Zandi
First of all congrats on your daughter success and really she deserve what you promised with her, give her what she wants.
Yeah, nagging is really nuisance and it really disturb me, but as in your example you changed your mind due to safety of your child, so same is the case with men too, they may changed their mind or they may not have much resources to complete that promise, I think instead of creating tension, in such cases we should sit together and tell each other our point of view and it may settle things.
And I agree with you it is not only women characteristic but some men also do this and it is really irritating...:)
Happy day dear...:)
First of all congrats on your daughter success and really she deserve what you promised with her, give her what she wants.
Yeah, nagging is really nuisance and it really disturb me, but as in your example you changed your mind due to safety of your child, so same is the case with men too, they may changed their mind or they may not have much resources to complete that promise, I think instead of creating tension, in such cases we should sit together and tell each other our point of view and it may settle things.
And I agree with you it is not only women characteristic but some men also do this and it is really irritating...:)
Happy day dear...:) 1 person likes this
@salam1 (1474)
• Malaysia
6 Feb 11
I do not like nagging like you did too. I avoid to nag others and found that a nagging wife is a paint in the 'bottom'.
In case of your daughter, she could be right because a person is as good as her ability to keep to his word. You have promised her something and ..
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Dec 10
zandi Nagging is so irritating and does not really accomplish much
but upset the one nagged at and the nagger also. But are not you sietting yourself up for your daughter's nagging? I mean you did promise her a bike and she fulfilled your requirements so I think you should rethink
the bike.Other children ride bikes and she is probably thinking you do not trust her.There is always some danger in almost anything we do but would not getting the bike with the stipulation she wear a helmet and ride responsibly be a better choice? She is opting for exercise versus
sitting in front of a computer all day. She is precious to you I know Zandi but she really could learn to ride safely.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
5 Dec 10
I am concern about the danger because of where I live. You see the highway is right in front of my house so getting her a bike is only inviting danger. The stretch of road fronting my house is accident prone so wouldn't want her to have a bike first not until I move to my new house where there is a big space .
@Elixiress (3878)
•
1 Dec 10
I think that your daughter is right to nag you for the bike, since you did promise it to her. How would you feel if she promised to ring you at 6pm and didn't? Along with being worried, you'd also not be able to trust her. This is exactly how she will feel about you.
As for nagging, I don't think that I am much of a nagger. If I want my boyfriend to do something then I will ask him once, if it is not done then I will ask him a second time and if he still doesn't do it then I give up and usually do it myself as I cannot be bothered to argue over mundane things.
@terryt52 (243)
• United States
1 Dec 10
I guess I will speak for women or most women. If we nag we nag for a reason usually. You just wrote a good example. You promised your daughter something for her A's. She delivered and you changed your mind. Now you are worried about your BP and tired of the nagging. A typical male,make a promise then break it. I will tell you what I tell my husband, for every decision you make there is a consequence. If you do not follow through the consequence if nagging. I prefer to call it speaking our mind which a male finds hard to do. A decision gets a good or bad consequence guess what you went back on your word bad decision bad consequence. I think the bible is referring to nagging for no apparent reason. Flying colors equals a flying bike that is what you told her or you will still hear the nagging. god bless.
