Household responsibilities

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I have been married for nearly 21 years and this is still a subject I wrestle with on a regular basis: How should the housework and home responsibilities be divided fairly? During my married years, it feels like I have shouldered most of the work around the home. I cook, clean, do laundry (my older kids do their own), do all the yardwork, take care of all the pets, pay the bills and manage my four kids various schedules. Most of the time I do this work without a second thought. It is what I have chosen to do with my life. I also have a part-time job that is outside the home. In the early years of our marriage, we shared most of the household work. When I started having kids, and didn't work for pay anymore, I took on most of the work at home. Now that my kids are a little older and more independent, I have a part-time job, and still do nearly all the work required to run a home and family. My husband works at least 40 hours a week at his job (often more) and that is about all he does. He comes home, eats, makes another pile of clothes for me to wash, and that is about it. I think he needs time to unwind and do his hobbies of woodworking, reading and playing his computer game, but why can't he do some of the little things around the house that my dad and brother always do, like checking the smoke alarm batteries, helping decorate for Christmas, walking the dog, picking up dog crap from the yard. Little things that don't require much thought, but would mean the world to me. I ask him to do these little things and he acts like I am asking him to hack off his arm and give it to me. I don't like asking because I don't think I should have to and when I do, I feel like I am his mother---yuck!!! I know things can never be "fair" and I don't mind doing the things I have to do, but I never get a break. My husband gets vacation time from his job, but I feel like I never get even a small break. On the rare occasion that I am out of the house for pleasure, I come home to dirty dishes, an unemptied dishwasher, and a house that is in disarray--even more work than when I left the hour before! It is exhausting. Am I being unreasonable in asking him to help out a little? I don't think he is setting a good example for our girls by sitting back and expecting me to do everything.