Shouldn't someone's child naturally come first for them?
By traciesdaddy
@traciesdaddy (17)
United States
December 2, 2010 11:35am CST
So I'm the proud dad of a beautiful 2 week old baby girl who I love more than anything in this world. : ) I was sure that any daddy in their right mind felt exactly the same until yesterday at my work - when I was talking to one of my co-workers during lunch who is also married with a 3 year old son. I'm always telling the guys at work how crazy I am about my daughter, and yesterday he told me that as much as he loves his son - his wife comes first for him. Then another guy stepped in on the conversation and said it's the same for him?? I'm sorry but I just don't follow. : ( Don't get me wrong - my wife is the most amazing, sexiest woman I know and I love her more than words can say...and I definately love her in a different WAY than I love my daughter - but I can't help but feel like I had no idea what love truly was until I became a daddy. : ) My daughter is a part of me, and while I would do anything (within reason) for my wife - I knew from the minute I first held Tracie that I would do absolutely anything for her and I honestly don't think I could go on living if I ever lost her. I can't imagine life without either one of my girls - but if it ever came down to having to choose between them, it would be my daughter, which I guess means I love her just a smidgen more. : ) I spoke with my wife about this last night and she feels exactly the same way. So even if it does make me a horrible hubby and these guys are right...I'm sorry, but I just love Tracie too much for her to not be the center of my world. So I'm just curious what makes these guys feel the opposite of what I do?? Does your child come first for you or is it your spouse/partner?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@teedelydoo2 (97)
• United States
3 Dec 10
I am a new mother of a beautiful baby boy. He is 3 Weeks old and I would do anything for him. He difinately comes first when it comes to me; and my husband tells me I am just being a good mother so I am assuming he feels the same. I admire that you are so crazy about your little girl. My husband never had a dad so he will spend his fatherhood making up for it. I think it is just a natural instinct to put your child before anything and anyone for the most part. For others I can not explain, nor can I judge. However, because both of us and both of you feel the same way, we will never have to chose between the two, because we will work together to put them first. That is what makes a family, a family.
@traciesdaddy (17)
• United States
3 Dec 10
I think you're right - I can't judge, and I've also decided that the way I personally feel doesn't necessarily make me a better father or a worse husband than those guys. But I agree, to me - it's only natural to put your child first. Congrats on your little guy! When was he born? My baby girl was born on 11/17. : )
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
2 Dec 10
I've heard other parents that say that for them their spouse comes first no matter what, and I don't really understand how that can be. From the time that my daughter was born eight years ago and then my son was born four years ago, they have always come first for me. I love my husband and there is absolutely no denying that fact. However, if I was to have to make a choice between my children and my husband, the choice for my children would definitely come first.
@traciesdaddy (17)
• United States
2 Dec 10
Amen. So even if my marriage really SHOULD come first, I just can't. My daughter just naturally comes first, for me.
@strawberrybaby39 (2086)
• United States
2 Dec 10
I love my kids more then anything. I raised my kids on my own till they hit in there late teens. I have had bad relationship with my daughters dads so I stayed single and never married for a long time. But I have dated and I always put my kids first before any man because my kids were there first before that man I dated. If I seen you treated my kids wrong you were gone. I never put up with a man hurting my kids in any way shape or form. But I am married now and I am there for both of them and love them both the same. But if it came down to a choice it would be my daughters. Because like I said my kids were there first.
@traciesdaddy (17)
• United States
2 Dec 10
Same here. I know that if I ever had to choose between anyone or anything and my baby girl...it wouldn't even be a choice!!
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Dec 10
Well, your feeling like that is but natural for a parent, most specially dads.
In my experience, i can truly say that my husband loves my daughter so much even more than me maybe. That's how i feel, but that's okay with me. What is important to me is my daughter is both truly loved by both of us.
However, men differs in the measure of love they give their children and wife. Just as you have narrated, others feels that they love their wife more. At least they are honest enough to say so.
But as for me, being a mother my child comes first for me.
@terryt52 (243)
• United States
2 Dec 10
Wow I love your whole article. I completely. I would die for my children and they indeed come before my husband. I love my husband but my kids come first. Good for you their should be more dad's like you!
@traciesdaddy (17)
• United States
2 Dec 10
Thanks! I am loving being a daddy, it is truly awesome. : ) I'm happy to see you feel the same way as a parent.
@tink91879 (742)
• United States
17 May 11
I agree with you. My husband and I feel the same. The kids come first no matter what. I know usually the guy dosent have a strong bond until he sees and holds the baby and even than the bond dosent seem to get stronger until the child is older. When their under 6 months usually the guy dosent know what to do. They dont really care to cuddle and just stare. So its funny they wldnt have a stronger bond with their child. I gues everyone is different. Good for you though. I know my husband loves our kids and they come first, but he dosent talk about them at work unless needed or some how come up in conversation. Maybe you have just run across that. The guys dont really talk about their kids.
@littleone3 (2063)
•
2 Dec 10
I have to agree with you my five children always come first with me even my eldest who at 19 is an adult in his own right comes before my partner.
But then again my partner understands as it is the same for him.
