I am afraid of Growing Old :-(

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Hello Lotters, Although I am used to being lonely most of the time. I like the fact that when ever my mom leaves for some friends event, I have freedom to stay home alone. but not just to use the internet but also to do house choirs, not much of a hobby but something i must do at home. When I was a kid, so desperate for growing up.sometimes, i hate it when ever a teacher or a parent accompany me to my room because of my big bag. Used to hate that a lot, even if am college i hated it too when my mom accompany for paying the tuition fees because i believed i could do it alone. after graduating i got used to and finally happy grown up..at least at one point of my time. but recently I've been experiencing some Gerascophobia. I look at myself all the time, i feared loosing my skin, i kept looking at the mirror and i noticed things change fast. I don't want to end up like those other single people i have encounter when i was young who are very much rude, insecure, easily get mad at. actually, am having one of those symptoms now. sometimes, I wonder why since were all gonna hit the dust anyways. of course, when i think about having a relationship, i get annoyed with seeing topics about complications in the relationship (e.g. argue, argue, fight) Sometimes I feel lost. Felt I missed a lot in Life. i want to fulfill them before I die. I am not asking for advice. This is my choice, my siblings have kids, so i just let them continue the "blood line"