to help or not?

hi savypat first thanks for helpint the disabled man. I would have done the same thing as I am partly disabled because my left foot had a ruptured tendon. It was not repaired in time so am doomed to wear a heavy orthopedic shoe with brace on that leg pluys I have a shoulder joint replacement that left me unable to lift my left arm up very far. This means I cannot get on a bus with its steps easily and sometimes I too need a hand, I hesitate to ask as I don not wantto be a burden on anyone. but if someone helps me I won't get angry but I will thanks them for their kindness.If I did offer help to a disabled person and the help was rejected I would just feel the person wants to try to do everything his or her self, and would cut them some slack.

[b][i] Hi Friend !!! This actually defers with each individual's perspective. I am a person who don't expect anything. At the same time I would also offer any help that is by far capable by me. So had I been in your situation, I would have surely rendered my help and when I was rejected I would really never mind, after all there are many things apart from this for me to bother upon. So I would not care a bit. I would just think about something else to divert myself.But at the end of the day, I would really tap my shoulders for giving my hands for a certainly good deed. This will just make me happy for the rest of the life. So do share your thoughts. Are you really feeling for the situation or are you already chilled about this? Take care friend !!! Happy mylotting!!! [/i][/b]

I tell you handicap people can be very stuck up. Though they are handicap, they want so much to act like normal people and refuses any assistant from others. They feel offended if someone offer to help them. It happened to me once when I tried to help a blind woman cross a busy road. I took her hand to walk her across the road but she quickly pull her hand back and in one word she said 'I can manage' which make me feel so bad and regretted offering my help. I am not sure whether she is partially blind but she is using a special walking stick for the blind.

savypat, Let me reassure you that you've done a good job and at the same time the right thing. It is always heartwarming to have and see such individuals like yourself helping people at the odd moments. So, there's nothing to feel embarrassed and most of all insulted when you are rejected. Just remember, that when you are rejected, it is not because of who you are. It may be that they just want to be independent and do things on their own. We need to understand that sometimes like us, we do not want to be a burden to others as well. We must always have a positive and open attitude when it comes to helping people. Never be afraid or even embarrassed to be refused or rejected.

I once worked as a security guard. During this time i discovered that not all disabled people like being helped. Its usually better to ask them if they would like help. I would help them if they answer yes.

If I see that the person was really need help I will surely help. But sometimes if you offer any help they refused it I guess we should not get mad. As long as we knew that we have good intention in helping and they refusal was not bad then its fine.

I often am tempted to try to help people. I do not go to doctor offices often, so it would be in another situation. When I help, I ask first, with a smile, and then I will not be offended if I am refused. I cannot help how they feel, but I can choose whether or not to get my feelings hurt. In "the good old days" we would just automatically help each other.

Hi savypat, I'm happy that you offered to help and I think that I would have done the same thing. It's true that your offer could have been rejected and I think I could have handled that. Some people with disabilities feel that others pity that and they've just had enough of it. I treat such people as I do others and if I think that they need help, I think of how I would feel in that situation. If I know that I would accept help, than I offer it and hope that the person has learned that we all need help sometimes. I have a nephew who has been a paraplegic since he was seventeen and he is now forty-six and through him I've met many people with disabilities. The thing to do is treat them as you would any other person and they will appreciate it and respect you as well. Blessings.

Savy Im with Ya! I definitely would've helped! I wouldnt have been able to forgive myself if I didnt. It takes a few minutes to give a helping hand. The elderly have already given to their community. They've worked, possibly raise a family, maybe a veteran, etc. Who knows. I want to thank them and if assisting them in some random task is the only way then so be it. Even if they were the worst people on the earth, I dont have to be. Also random acts of kindness are contagious! He probably went and helped someone else. People learn by example. someone sees us holding the door for someone, picking up something a person may have dropped, etc. When they do they dont want to be the one that isnt helping so they help someone else. Do it for acknowledgement, do it just to be kind, do it so people will think highly of you, do it because the courts say you have to. What ever the reason just do it. Eventually people end up doing random acts of kindness because they are accustomed to doing it. Its part of their lifestyle. Who cares why we started out doing it. Its the end result that's important. I would have absolutely helped as you did! It just goes to show there are good people in our world. One of them is YOU my friend. Happy MyLotting and Merry Christmas.dl

I would have offered, too. And I'm not offended if someone wants to chat. "Can I help you with that? Oh, and by the way, I'll be very hurt if you let me help then don't entertain me with chatter till one of us is called!" That's what many people mean but don't say when they offer help, which is why I always turn it down and probably others do, too. You were nice to help him and not intrude on his solitude. I like to help people but don't expect anything in return.

I think it was very nice of u to help him. I would have done the samething. I know he appreciated but was probably a little embarassed to have to have help w/something so simple. I need help alot of times w/things like that & appreciate someone very much when they offer to help me.

hi pat, i dont think i will be offended as long as he says it nicely. guess i will still try to understand if he gets a little rude. disabled are like that: many are too proud to ask help. anyways, that was very kind of you to help him. bless you. have a nice day. ann

I will always hold the door for disabled people or mothers with strollers. I wouldn't have felt rejected if they didn't talk to me..they might be embarrased or just not feeling well that day.

I congratulate you because of you broad mindedness. Helping mentality is a very good character. These kinds of attitudes are not in all people. This is a special gift of God. Everybody like those kinds of people who are pity and kindness towards others. May God bless you!

I would still help. eventhough I am going under stress I would still want to help if permitted. If they don't thank me then so be it... atlest I'd help and that's the most important thing.

Yes pat, I shall try to help an elderly or disabled person. If that person refuse to accept to take my help I would not mind and not be insulted. It is my part to help and his or her part is to accept or reject.

I have to say that it insults me when my help is rejected.And it discourages me too.I know that old stupid "I can do it myself" thing.Some of my relatives acted like that and they made it difficult for all of us to take care of them.Help and accept help.It should be like that.

Obviously I will help and I have helped so many people in situation similar to this .Every man has a humanity and these kinds of help will really satisfy your heart that I have done great job and I have humanity with me .

Those questions used to go through my mind until last few years --- i started being positive and to my surprise it works great and i least care as what they think about me now.Well if someone needs help then i can lend my hand ... it depends on the situation though.great day.

hello savypat! if i were you i will still offered my help because helping others makes me feel like im a hero:) i will not feel that i am rejected. i will just understand the man because maybe he just dont use to talk with others^^ i will not be insulted for i understand the man`s condition^^ the most important thing is that you helped whenever you saw someone that needs help. even that person is a snobber,bad,or good, helping them is the most important.:)