The Kristmas Konspiracy Prize Draw
By jb78000
@jb78000 (15139)
December 3, 2010 3:48pm CST
time for some new sparkling Konspiracies to go on the christmas tree. i am running a contest this year - haven't decided what the prizes should be yet (any ideas please tell me) but everybody is welcome to enter. you can provide a brand new konspiracy you just thought up, perhaps after having one eggnog too many, an exciting one you stumbled across on the internet, or even a revamped old classic. any ideas?
2 people like this
8 responses
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Dec 10
hi jb oh yes the konspiracy of the idiots who la ugh like hyenas as they play the idiotic stupid Kristmas song Grandma Got Run Over By a
Reindeer.Exciting well I don't know about that but if I could
catch them and stake them out by some Christmas trees and let
loose all of Santas reindeer on them maybe then they would
retire that silly stupid song.grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.I am in
a lousy mood tonight as my rommie has asked me four times when
am I going to go to bed? eight oclock was the first asking .
the woman kept me awake all night last night, I think I would love to
see her get bumped at least by a reindeer.sorry thats mean. 
1 person likes this
and it is not mean to want somebody who kept you awake all night head butted by a reindeer. i think it is perfectly reasonable
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
4 Dec 10
Hello, Judith. Have you heard about the latest dastardly plan in the moths' quest for world domination? They've taken over Astonysh's brain, and he's going to be the conduit through which they conquer Germany. That's the only possible explanation for the discussion he started yesterday. Either that, or Helium's decision to alter upfront payments has sent him over the edge.
That pales into significance by what they've done here in Spain, though. Just as the oranges have come into their best and Leif is on his way over here to squeeze them for me, LIDL has sold out of vodka.
This has never happened before, and there's only one explanation for it - the moths have found out that I'm trying to warn the world about their evil intentions, and they're trying to drive me mad by depriving me of my life blood. They hope to discredit me, so nobody believes me.
It's backfired theough, because although I'm scared of moths, I care about my fellow human beings. I've enrolled in moth phobia conquering classes, and the tutor says the best way to get rid of all the moths is to eat them. They're low fat but full of protein, so they won't bust my diet.
Got any good recipes? I have been told that crispy fried moths makes a great garnish for rabbit paella. If you're feeling cold over there, I have a nice warm paella pan here.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
4 Dec 10
Judith, you don't realise what we're dealing with here. They took over the brains of all the workers in LIDL and they pushed the vodka out of the store for them. Yes' I'll have some of Cynthi's rum, please, until I get more vodka. Does it go with oranges, do you think?
@jb78000 (15139)
•
4 Dec 10
did the moths buy all of lidl's vodka? how on earth did they manage to push those great big trolleys around. anyway you don't want vodka at christmas time. you want something more warming. like brandy or whisky. or rum. i have got a few spare barrels of cynthi's rum going spare (she wanted me to have them) - would you like one?
1 person likes this
@jb78000 (15139)
•
4 Dec 10
well they didn't take lidl's rum. anyway of course you can have some of cynthi's = she'll want you to have it. and when you run out you can go to lidl and stock up on their stuff. hey, have you tried the liqueurs in lidl? most are revoltingly sweet but they sell amaretto (well their own version), which i really, really like. 
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
4 Dec 10
Someone sold all the eggnog to the kids trying to get high on nutmeg. The cows and the chickens have decided to both boycott and refuse to replenish the supply.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
3 Dec 10
And guess what? He isn't a Muslim either. Here - have a rum.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
3 Dec 10
Your intrepid reporter down on the street, dodging the mob....
@spalladino (17891)
• United States
3 Dec 10
My favorite has got to be the one about your little garden in your backyard which is going to cause the Garden Police to swoop down on your home and lock everyone up because you broke some legislation that had nothing to do with you in the first place. The Konspiracy is that everyone has seeds stashed away from grandma's prize cucumbers that she grew in the 1930's. The government wants to take them away from all of us because there is a secret cucumber shortage planned which will cause all of us to purchase government cucumbers at inflated prices. BUT, if we have grandma's special seeds we will be protected. Forget the fact that most, if not all, Americans buy their garden seeds in little packs from Walmart...this is a serious konspiracy.
@Torunn (8607)
• Norway
3 Dec 10
I've never had eggnog. So I'm not sure I can think of any conspiracies of all.
I tried to convince my friends that the angels where to blame for increasing number of obese people, but they were convinced it was all because of the Jews. And the Socialists. And possibly the Communists, although they don't really get any votes anymore.
@Torunn (8607)
• Norway
4 Dec 10
Not really worrying, they're just going for the ones usually blamed for conspiracy theories. I suspect they are about as serious as I am in blaming the angels. However, I think that my theory about the angels making us fat because they want to eat us is better than theirs about the socialists.
The worrying ones are the ones who blame the "furriners" for everything. Including the high electricity prices. I'm not really quite sure how you can blame the foreigners (the dark ones, not the Swedes) for the extreme cold we've had in November, unless you're very religious and and blame it on Jesus. Jesus would have been a foreigner had he showed up here.
Some politicians sound like the cold is a part of a conspiracy theory. Not quite sure which one though, the one to freeze the whole world and turn it into one big isicle?
