Cheating Spouses: Do you get mad at the spouse or mistress
By YoungInLove
@YoungInLove (1254)
Canada
December 8, 2010 12:02pm CST
I was just thinking about the other day, how alot of people I know have had boyfriends or husbands do them wrong. And I always wonder why instead of getting mad at their spouse they get mad at the other person.
Personally, I feel like my boyfriend has an obligation to me, says he loves me, has been with me all this time, that if it were to happen, I wouldnt care about the other girl at all, id be royally pi$$ed at my boyfriend for doing it though.
Yet alot of people have problems coming to terms and find its easier to blame the other person.
Has this happened to you? or even a friend? and what was their first reaction.
Just curious, I know its kind of personal, but I just dont understand, and hope theres alot more people out their who stand up for themselves.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
8 Dec 10
Fortunately, i have never had this personal experience before. if i did, i would probably let out all of my anger on the cheating spouse. The mistress may have no idea what she was getting into.1 person likes this
@ally12 (1202)
• Philippines
9 Dec 10
I have not been cheated yet by my husband.well not yet
(thanks be to God)
But if it so happen I would definitely get mad to both of them.first to my husband for being infidel.And to the other woman regardless if she is aware of the marital status of her man.Of course I would be jealous to her so I think its justifiable to feel bad of her.Especially nowadays, more women are just so careless of their behaviour.They dont mind if they are stepping on somebody's foot.Oh I remembered once, i accidentally discovered an email address saved in my husband's mobile phone.As I examined I determined that it was owned by a female.And I was correct.I confronted my husband and he confessed it was the woman who initially gave her email add and even ask him to have a chat sometime.And I confirmed the information from my sister-in-law who happened to be an office mate of that girl.She knew very well that my husband is a family man and she is single, so why dont she look for untaken ones.
(thanks be to God)
But if it so happen I would definitely get mad to both of them.first to my husband for being infidel.And to the other woman regardless if she is aware of the marital status of her man.Of course I would be jealous to her so I think its justifiable to feel bad of her.Especially nowadays, more women are just so careless of their behaviour.They dont mind if they are stepping on somebody's foot.Oh I remembered once, i accidentally discovered an email address saved in my husband's mobile phone.As I examined I determined that it was owned by a female.And I was correct.I confronted my husband and he confessed it was the woman who initially gave her email add and even ask him to have a chat sometime.And I confirmed the information from my sister-in-law who happened to be an office mate of that girl.She knew very well that my husband is a family man and she is single, so why dont she look for untaken ones.
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
8 Dec 10
I suppose it is easier to lash out at the "other woman" or "other man" because dealing with the spouse means accepting and confronting that there are problems with the relationship. Easier to blame the outside party for being a homewrecker or for "destroying a marriage/relationship." If cheating happens, the marriage or relationship is already broken. If I were in that position, I'd have a problem with my spouse -- I wouldn't be too enamored with the mistress either, believe me -- but, like you, I would expect my spouse to be committed to me and, if he wasn't, then he needs to deal with our relationship first before going outside of it to try to "fix it". That never works and it just ends up that even more people get hurt.
@Youreyes4Today (2356)
• United States
8 Dec 10
I feel when two people get into a relationship they made a commitment to each other. If one cheats on the other, they broke that trust of commitment. Not the other person involved, they may not even know there was someone else. They could also be, being cheated on by you.
I have been cheated on and it does hurt. My question was why did he cheat? I would blame myself for so long. Not anymore though, I didn't break the commitment. He did.
