What would you do if...

I was just saying what I would do as long as I was 100% sure that nothing was going on and that he didn't have any feelings for her. I talk to my ex's and we talk very respectful and kind to each other when we talk. We don't talk frequently. You didn't really specify what you meant by "sweet". If they were flirting then yes, I'd be upset. I wasn't there and I didn't see the messages you saw so I can't really say. Also, I am not you so just because we might handle it differently doesn't mean you are wrong at all and I wasn't trying to imply that.

i see.. but from what i saw..i didn't feel secured of his love for me.. sweet..is like its literally sweet..when you read it..it sounds like they're still lovers who want to get back together..i understand that my bf is trying to move on..but this won't help..but he clarified to me that they talk less and less as time passes. I wanna see if it will change or what he'll do...I'm patient and nice..it's true but he never saw me angry..and he must wish he won't..:) for now we're okay..but i still got an eye on him...I'm sure now that he's aware that I'm keeping an eye on him. if he still got intentions of doing something bad, he'll be more careful this time..but I'm smarter than him in this situation..I'm just quiet but i know all his actions.. and some proofs that i can have won't make him say any alibi...thanks for giving your opinion. I appreciate it very much :) Now, i want to be above the situation..and i know at the moment that i am above it. :)

what do you mean that you would let it go? I'm sure he's in love with me.. and i know that he's just being there for his ex because she's very lonely at the moment..but as i said it doesn't justify the fact that they are still sweet with their messages..so i got a right to be angry...thou he said they don't talk that much anymore unlike before and in time everything will be gone..

i totally agree with you..thou what if the ex girlfriend is living miles away..on another country..and she's permanently living there..anyway, i think you got a good point.

My answer would still be the same. In the first place, why do they need to exchange sweet nothings. Distance is not a hinder to keep the hearts bloom again. Besides, it is another way of flirting. When the break up is still fresh, one or both of them must keep a distance so that they can fully move on. The girl being married is likewise not a hindrance. In the second place, they are exes, I think, they have to be distant for a while and take time to heal the wounds of their break up. It can affect our relationship with insecurity if the sweet nothings is continued. It is also a matter of respect to one's relationship that has to be considered.

well, that's true. to enable to move on, one or both of them should distant themselves from each other.. aside from that they should respect me. I look stupid from what they did. Yet, I want to see what his actions would be. He thinks every thing is alright after that..I wanna know if nothing will change..I'm not angry or hurt anymore at the moment..

true..but the point is..you also have to learn from this situation especially if you're on top of it. He did this to you but he doesn't want to lose you..then it's your decision.. at least you got a hand on him..and he'll follow you just so he can't lose you.. i asked him to choose and he chose me. So i guess i can handle this.:) thanks for your point of view..;) by the way. I love China too :) i mean..i love Chinese movies ^^ and i wanna learn how to speak more mandarin..xie xie again :)

should you give him a chance? or cool off..for space to think..so he'll realize what he did? it's easier said than done..and it's also hard to say things you don't mean when you're angry or what..

I know they still talk..but never knew they talk "sweetly"..i already confronted him and i get his point but i think this time I'm more right at this situation. I'm not jealous..i got hurt..for the fact that why do they have to talk just like that..it's all over..he committed himself to me..it's not reasonable to be too concern to his former partner..It's disrespectful..I'm not stupid so I'm thinking I should be above this situation.. he thinks we're totally okay now..but i have my eye on him.. I wanna see what he'll be doing..as i said, if nothing will change.. then i have to leave him already.

thanks..I'll look unto it..cause i don't want to make decisions when I'm not emotionally ready..it's hard to make decisions when you are angry..I confronted him about it and he said sorry and he said that he's just being there for her since the girl is really lonely..cause she got family problems..and he's one of those people she always shares her problems..i understand that..i don't mind them talking cause i know they really can't be together again..but for me that doesn't justify why they have to still talk sweetly..i said he knows what he's doing..just don't think about her..think also of me..I'm hurt and he said the time i saw the messages..they were already talking less than they used to do..it's up to him..and he knows the consequence..I'm patient and understanding but i also got a limitation.. he knows that if we broke up..there's no turning back for me..I'm not a martyr..i know my worth so no matter what happens..I'll be strong..i had deal with a lot of relationships in my past and these experiences made me stronger..it's not my lost if we broke up.. we'll see what happen..if nothing will change i guess i have to say goodbye to this relationship.

thanks sardonyx...i feel like I'm not in the "mood" with him..just like before.. I'm cheerful and i laugh a lot..but now it breaks my heart...feels like something got broken inside of me...and it will take time to heal it back..literally. At the moment there's no particular person I can turn myself into but myself...and I'm trying to ease this..and control my emotions cause i know any time i can break down..i love him so much.. I want him to prove himself to me.. i wanna see if he's worth it..if not i have to let go of this person.