I Blame Myself.....

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Note: This Discussion based on a very sad and probably emotionally depressed Person. So, If you are one of those persons who responds for the sake of earning(not to mention INSENSITIVITY), Please Ignore me or you'll be sorry.Of course, I don't blame any one here, except myself. so, what ever pity, sorry, apologetic comments you're gonna put on, I don't need it here. Because simply am depressed. got it? Since when the Person becomes completely positive when their depressed? This is regarding to What Happened to my Nephew. This after noon, the kids woke up from their afternoon nap to start their snacks, since they can get very hungry after sleep. so, they ate outside. nothing wrong with that. Sister in Law, goes tells nephew to sit down, while she goes to take a shower. Father-in-Law goes outside to buy things, tells younger niece not to follow him. then with out knowing, my nephew comes back whining that his sandals drop in the canal, with his skin between his legs and ankle deeply rip off, bloods flowing. So, they took him to the Hospital. of course, it wasn't that serious, just cleaned the wounds and stitch the skin ripped.. Here's the uh..Itchy bit sensitive part. That same Afternoon earlier, I had an appointment and i firmly beg that I just came in to drop by. some how I felt something bad. though, i thought it was my mom getting mad at me for not telling her, which she didn't mind later when i text-ed her. but then again, THE HEART DOESN'T LIE. The nervousness i had, gave me a very strong instinct, that somethings about to happen. The Worst part of it is that "I completely ignore the instinct" because that same afternoon I was planning to head to my Brother's house. just to give the extra papers that he(nephew) needed for his future drawings. So, I gave myself time for an R n R since it's once in a lifetime appointment.then, had really quite fun. But I paid a terrible price, I did went to my Nephew, in the Hospital. My mom was so close into blaming me when she told me that you could have been there earlier. but she just stop.....she knows I would feel even bad to myself even more. because i originally planned on going there any way after seeing my cousin with that CPU. Of course, If I was keen on not staying long and go. Probably I could have made them Disappointed or something. but i think am used to that, Because I could have trade that disappointment of others for at least an hour or two for baby sitting my nephew, since he's too energetic to be told to sit around and wait. So, as a Knight for the family today, I felt like a Total Failure! Another Worst part is that My elder Brother (their Dad) ignores his Christmas Party on that night leaving his chance to eat dinner and wear his very expensive Captain Barbarossa ( Pirates of the Carrebean ) that could have made him win a price. My Sister in Law sent her mom home after they went to the hospital. To prevent her from thinking much more of that guilt. how can it be her fault when she was baby sitting my niece. I mean, if there was ONE more person there at least baby sitting the eldest..you get what i mean. That could have been ME. There is ONE LESSON that I have learned here since am tired of this "I SHOULD have done this and that" YOU NEVER IGNORE YOU'RE INSTINCTS. The Heart Never Lies, most of the time. Again, No one has to Pity, Apologetic or Sorry for this Since Imade the decision. So, I am Only Putting ALL of my Depression, Anger, Regret, and Hate in this discussion. So that I hope by the Love of GOD, I would pull my guts together...and Move on. PS: Unless i find a way to explain my irrational behavior here once i regained my senses, I'd probably act as a Response Collector. sorry.