Should kids be nervous before exams?
By bounce58
@bounce58 (17385)
Canada
December 11, 2010 8:03pm CST
My son just went through one of the practical tests for his martial arts so he can be promoted to his next belt. There were a lot of kids testing so it took a while before it was his turn. During the process, there were a couple of breaks so they could stretch their legs or go to the toilet if needed.
One thing I noticed about him was that he wasn't nervous. If it were me, I would be nervous the whole time, and wouldn't be able to sit still until it was my turn, and I was done. He was just laughing about and couldn't care less about his turn, and how he'd perform. This got me agitated.I thought he should have been thinking more about his test.
Now, the question is...
Am I taking it the wrong way? Maybe he was right at not being nervous. That he should be relaxed so he could do better.
How about you? Do you get nervous before your kid's test too? Or is this the right approach? To be not so worried about tests, so the mind is relaxed? What do you think?
4 people like this
24 responses
@momof3kids (1894)
• Singapore
12 Dec 10
I think if you make it a point that the test is important then he will be nervous. Like the above response in box 1, i agree that maybe kids nowadays dun get nervous easily. Especially boys.
My son doesnt seem to put in enough effort in his studies yet he manages to get As and Bs at the end result. On the other hand, my niece is an overacheiver and she gets stressed up because she wants the get the top results as in A+ in all her subjects.
If your son scores well while not being nervous then I think you should be happy at that. I think my son can do better if he spends more time with schoolwork but I try not to intervene. I want him to enjoy his schooldays because I know that when he goes out to work, there will be enough stress.
2 people like this
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
14 Dec 10
I have the same reasoning. I'm thinking that whatever my kid's attitudes are towards exams, I'm sure they will carry through when they get to work. And I'm sure a relaxed attitude would be more beneficial for them than being stressed all the time.
Thanks.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
12 Dec 10
This is so natural! Parents are usually more nervous than their child.When my mom watched me play in orchestra she was so nervous but never let me know until years later. If your son was ready for the test then he had no reason to be nervous.But to answer your question, it is good to be a little nervous but not So nervous you panic!
1 person likes this
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
19 Dec 10
With me , it all depended on the subject. I was never nervous about Algebra but I prayed for a passing grade in science and I never thought I would do well in English.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
17 Dec 10
A little nervous is what I think is natural too. I've always thought that I performed in tests way much better when I have a little adrenaline in me. But I think some kids are just confident to not feel this way. Maybe just a different make up. Which sounds a bit promising when I think of their future.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
12 Dec 10
hi bounce I think little kids are so great as they approach
things with the idea of having fun and do not for a moment
think oh will I win or lose, will I flunk, they just think'this
is what I like to do and I will have fun.no worry they are too young for that 
uch better on any test.that is my thought on the matter.
uch better on any test.that is my thought on the matter.1 person likes this
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
12 Dec 10
Hello bounce.
Yes i think you were over reacting.
When face with exams, there are 2 motifs why you should not be nervous - 1 you haven't opened a book (or in this case practiced at all for instance) and 2 you are so well prepared, that you KNOW there is no chance in hell you are going to fail, so you don't worry.
When you are somewhere in between you are bound to worry, but it is a good thing if you can think of something else and relax - stress is not good no matter when you encounter it.
1 person likes this
Sometimes I wonder how I ever finished school. lol!
Kids are just sometimes confident, which is in a way good for them!
Thanks.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Dec 10
I was just asking my boyfriend the other day if he got nervous before his performances, as he is an actor. He said not usually and I wondered if it were me I would be as I would find it a bit challenging to cause me to do better.
So I suppose it has to do with comfort and maybe perhaps confidence, good for him that he did well and was not nervous.
1 person likes this
@r3jcorp (1382)
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
Children nowadays are very confident and self reliant that they do not feel nervous in any kind of exam, whether practical or written. Being a mother, it is natural that we feel that way because we always wants the best for our children.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
15 Dec 10
Today my oldest son is having a challenging day. He had a five hour art exam which filled the whole day and now he is at a further education college interview. He doesn't get nervous about exams and some he takes in his stride. I am nervous before he has an exam. It is lovely that your son is in a relaxed mood and laughs about before an examination.
When I was at secondary school, college and university I revised hard and got nervous before each of my exams. When I got in the exam room I read the paper before I began answering. Some of the questions were wonderful and other were awful. It was good when I had a break before the next exam. I remember having three exams in one particular day.
I hope that your son is progressing well with his martial arts.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
15 Dec 10
Everybody's different. Some people are nervous only if they're not prepared, others are nervous no matter what. As long as your child prepares to the best of his ability and does his best, there's nothing wrong with him being nervous or not nervous.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
14 Dec 10
I get nervous before exams or tests too. I think that maybe your son was just very confident with his ability. I think that we can do better if we relax but there is a difference in relaxing and not caring. I think your son was just relaxed. I wish I were gifted enough to relax during a test...lol
@Nadinest1 (2016)
• Canada
15 Dec 10
I think that since he is not nervous, then he feels confident about himself and that he is going to do OK.
Myself, I would feel nervous.
I don't do tests anymore, but there are certain things in life that make me nervous and anxious.
Kudos to your son.
I hope he got promoted to the next belt.
@maezee (41988)
• United States
12 Dec 10
Some kids are like that, I guess. That's probably a good thing - stress and nervousness screws up a lot of kid's tests scores and ability to perform. You just have to find balance between 'care-free' and 'work-aholic' (or worry-wort/nervous-aholic LOL). I could never really find that balance when I was in high school either..I would either be super nervous for finals, although I ended up doing OK. I know that a lot of the kids in my classes had panic attacks and nervous breakdowns when it came to "IB" finals and oral exams. I never really put myself on a pedestal to get perfect grades, which actually seemed to work in my favor, so I didn't try to burn myself out over-achieving. Hmm. Not sure if that makes sense. I find that I do a lot better when I'm relaxed too, especially with performance-related tests. So, I wouldn't worry about it.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Dec 10
Because of the fact that I think children have enough anxiety as it is before hey are tested, I think that it is best that parents hide their anxiety if it is at all possible. I know that so far in my life as a parent there really haven't been a lot of important exams that my children have been through, so I am sure that I will have a lot of anxiety for them, but I also know that I am going to try to hide it as much as possible.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
20 Dec 10
I think that's what I should be doing. To hide my own anxiety from them. Not just because I was used to it growing up and facing my own exams, but also to let them know that if they are confident enough not to feel any anxiety, then it is OK for them.
Thanks.
@RamRes (1723)
• Argentina
21 Dec 10
I think it's not about if they or us "should" be nervous or not, there is not correct way of behaving in such situation. It's normal that both become anxious, we are humans after all, but it's also normal for each one to manifest such anxiety in a variety of forms, from nervous to relaxed. Each one has his own way to deal with this. An important point I've heard about is, don't let your child see your anxiety. That will make him unsecure, as many times they feel our feelings and become worried instead of relaxed.
@DoctorDidi (7018)
• India
15 Dec 10
Like all parents, I too feel nervous when my kid appears before any test. It is no doubt a normal phenomenon to be nervous. You need not worry for it.
@ganeshprabhuk (1722)
• India
12 Dec 10
I strongly feel we should not be worried about tests and all.When we are tensed we try to put pressure on kids and kids do not feel comfortable. So best thing is be cool. Kids can manage the way they can handle. Now a days kids are so smart they know how to handle any type of tests and get through. Tension leads to wrong ways only. Mean to say it cannot be succeeded.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
12 Dec 10
i think it depends on how good they are prepared for their tests...if they are well prepared then there's no need to be worried..and they themselves wil also be confident so they will be relaxed...if they have any doubt about the performance then the nervousness will come naturally...so its good if he was relaxed...this shows that he was confident...this shows his positive attitude...
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
12 Dec 10
I don't think that children should let themselves be nervous before exams. All you can do is your best. No amount of worry is going to help you once the exam starts. Finding a way to relax is the best way you can begin your exams.@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
18 Dec 10
I think that is something that has to be taught to children. That finding a way to relax is a good way of ensuring of doing his or her best in any exam. But, I don't think all children act that way. Some are just confident enough not to feel any anxiety.
@khanzee (123)
• Pakistan
12 Dec 10
It is fate whether you won test or not, but the problem is that we don't have to be nervous, if you get nervous or worried about some thing you want, you won't be able to fulfill your responsibility in proper way , it is better not to be nervous in every section of life, if your mind relax it is more chance to get your goal.
thank you for sharing
@mikhaaail (62)
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
being nervous before exams is normal but nervousness can reduce if the kids study well and confident.
@vineshv (49)
• India
12 Dec 10
Answer would rather depend on individual personality..
There are people who would like to be nervous (or alert) while there is another group who prefer to be cool (not taking unnecessory pressure).
I dont know which category he belong to.
I guess you can determine this by looking at how he was faring so far in his life .
This would help you to determine whether he is cool in behaviour or prefer to be alert by nature .
This accessmnet would help us to determine whether he was careless or alert in this assignment.
