What would you do???
By Loverbear
@Loverbear (4918)
United States
December 12, 2010 5:07am CST
As a lot of you know, I live in the country. I mean waaayyy out in the country. I drive 30 miles to get a loaf of bread, and the drive takes about an hour. I love my home and the wonderful critters that wander through my yard at night. I've had everything from skunks to raccoons to bob cats and mountain lions come through, and I've enjoyed them all.
The area I live in is a recreational area, as there is a lake about a quarter of a block from my door. Unfortunately it means neighbors. Now comes the good part. The female of the couple has made it her personal duty to check my yard and report to the head of our homeowners association when I have food out for the animals. (Yes, I agree she really needs to get a life!) She has a monsterous chocolate lab that doesn't mind worth squat. The association rule is that dogs need to be under the owner's control which means either the dog is trained to walk off leash beside the owner or the dog is on a leash when walking or they have the dog in the car or on the golf cart. The woman doesn't do any of these things. The morning after Thanksgiving I got a call from her that nearly every other word was profanity. The call was liberally laced with the "F" word. She called the president of the home owner's association and complained.
She has complained about my smoke from the fireplace and that I was burning "garbage". I moved the feeding dishes for the cats from the area just outside the retaining wall for my carport (which is still part of my property) to on top of my roof and on the roof of my car. I don't use the fireplace when she is in, which leaves the house freezing in the winter as the fireplace is the only way I heat the house. I don't dump the food stuffs so that she can't bit-h about her dog trying to eat the stuff.
Tonight I got home from town and there was another call from her. I had forgotten about a dish of food that was out on MY LOT and she was flipping out about it. She again called the head of the home owners association.
Needless to say, I really needed this right now. I have college finals this next week. I have a major project due tonight, a presentation for a business competition through the college...which if I place could get me a monitary award of between $250 to $1000. And I have this pimple on the buttocks of society making trouble for me. I checked my messages when I got home, at 12:30 this morning, and sat there and cried out of total frustration. I work so hard to keep my dogs under control and keep them from barking. I keep my cats inside and the other two are outside cats but they stay on my lot. Yet I can be expected to tolerate their dog barking for hours when they aren't around. I can put up with their starting their vehicle and running it down to the area that the dog poops in...at between 1 and 3 a.m. And I can put up with that person sticking her nose into what I do.
How long would you put up with the petty crap out of her? I put any food stuff that is old and needs to be tossed, in a garbage bag in my shed so that I can take it to the dump or to a dumpster so that she won't complain about it. My shed is torn open because the animals smelled food and pulled one of the metal parts open so that they can get in the shed. My roof looks like something out of a slum because of the dishes on it that I can't reach to get down and put them in the house. The roof of my car is constantly full of spots because I feed the other cat on the top of the car roof so the dogs don't get into the cat food.
I have reached the point that she is going to be informed that if she is going to tell me what to do she is going to pay my bills, which includes buying me a new car--come to think of it two. I want a smart car which would be great for the summer and I'd like a 4 cylinder truck for shows and getting other stuff. Then the house needs major renovation, and it would be great to have central heat. Oh, then too I would love some sterling silver flatware and also some Royal Dalton china...a set for twelve and the matching platter, mugs, serving bowls, coffee and tea pots, creamer, sugar, and what ever other peices catch my eye. Then since Bill and I need a vacation I would love for us to go to Disney World (Disneyland is too close to home) and of course we need to fly first class. If you get the feeling it will be expensive for the witch you're right. I don't take harrassment well. I had to take a whole tranquilizer to get under enough control to quit sobbing my eyes out.
I know this is really a long discussion. I thank all of you who read it all the way through. I am living in terror every time the neighbors come in. There is no telling what she is going to do next. I can't sit and cry and shake for fear of what she is going to take a dislike to and have her call and rip me apart and call and tell the home owners association (it's like dealing with a 5 year old. I don't like what you're doing and I'm going to tell).
Thank you for puting up with my discussion and let me know what you would do. I am about to inform the head of the homeowner's association that he can tell the witch that she can come down and collect the crates with my much loved animals in them and haul them out to the dog pound. Then maybe she would be happy...
Oh, and the punch line for all of you who waded through this long missive...the other neighbors throw food out for the critters.
4 people like this
7 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
12 Dec 10
And I take it you never complained about them throwing food out? What do you think would happen if you did?
My one neighbor who use to complain about our house, I only complained once when her dog continually barked when it was very late at night. The dog still does this, but I think since I moved into another room, I don't hear the barking as much. Then one time when the "other" neighbor called be on me for my puppies barking. (this is the one that complains about dogs more than I and why I made that complaint, as far as the dog owner neighbor knows, it wasn't me..lol.) So when security came and asked if I had a dog who barked, I said, "I have two puppies that bark, but so does the other neighbor, the exception is hers barks late into the night and early in the morning." 
Well, the "2" neighbors are supposedly friends and ironically since that day, no security has come by to ask about my "barking puppies" 
Oh, and about that fireplace, I'd burn whether the neighbor was home or not, she can just try to prove your burning garbage, no sense in you freezing. (Of course if you are burning garbage, which I have burned paper to start my fire when we had a wood burning stove, just don't burn that when she is home)
Anyways, if you don't feel like complaining, have you considered talking to your neighbor, explain what you have going on and that you are doing your best?
Well, the "2" neighbors are supposedly friends and ironically since that day, no security has come by to ask about my "barking puppies"
Oh, and about that fireplace, I'd burn whether the neighbor was home or not, she can just try to prove your burning garbage, no sense in you freezing. (Of course if you are burning garbage, which I have burned paper to start my fire when we had a wood burning stove, just don't burn that when she is home)
Anyways, if you don't feel like complaining, have you considered talking to your neighbor, explain what you have going on and that you are doing your best?
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
13 Dec 10
Loverbear I'm sorry, if I were there I would say something, except I may make it worse..:(
I don't know what to tell you, except maybe allow Bill to say something, either to the neighbor or to complain.
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
12 Dec 10
Your neighbor complains all the time and that can be a pain, but you have also noted in your post that the animals have torn your shed apart (no mention that it has been repaired or replaced), that you have food dishes on your roof that you can't get down. Question: If you got them up there, why can't you get them down? I don't think the problems the woman is griping about have much to do with your own animals, but it does seem to concern feeding wild animals.
I adore animals, but I live in the country and previously lived in Florida, and I would never consider feeding wild animals. If they get used to coming to your place, and sometime in between visits get rabies, you have just bought yourself a bundle of trouble. Raccoons were the biggest problem in Florida and here in Pennsylvania raccoons and foxes are the primary carriers. Pennsylvania has the largest number of rabid animals of any state, and I was thrilled (not) to learn our county has the highest number in the state.
The way your home looks adds or detracts from the value of your neighbors. They want to have homes that bring top-dollar, especially in today's market, where the slightest problem means big dollars off the price. Having a neighbor whose home is not well kept is a markdown even before a potential buyer gets IN the house.
You say other neighbors feed the animals, too, but has it affected the looks of their homes? Do they have dishes on their roofs and mangled sheds?
Right now, from your letter, it sounds as though the woman has good reason to complain and contact the HOA. She does not have the right to call you and curse at you throughout the conversation. Why not talk face to face with her and get the full complaint and see if there can be a compromise to make both of you happy?
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
17 Dec 10
To clarify things, first I don't feed the wild animals. My "wet" garbage goes into a compost pit rather than my putting it out for the critters. I do put seeds out for the birds and squirrels. And, as you said, raccoons and skunks are the primary carriers of rabies and our area in the state has the highest concentration of rabies in the state.
As for feeding the cat on the roof, I moved the dish to the roof because of her complaining. I couldn't put it on the ground because of the fact that my dogs would eat the cat food. I feed the cats factory made food and it wouldn't hurt the dogs, it's just that I keep the dogs on a strict diet and it doesn't include cat food. There is nothing in the dishes that would hurt any animal, it's just that the cat food is a bit rich for the dogs. Also, when it comes to placing the food on the roof, I have a step that I can stand on to reach the roof of the lower part of the house. If the dish is moved while the cat is eating, I cannot reach it without getting out the ladder and climbing up to retrieve the dish. I can't really do ladders because of the bad knee replacement and the fact that I broke my back last year. So I either have to hope for a windstorm or someone to generously offer to climb the ladder and collect the dishes. I don't have garbage collection in my area...living 30 miles from town and 8 miles from the nearest county road, so my trash has to repose in the storage shed until I can take it to town. Because of the lady's ranting and raving, I am having to put food stuffs in the shed, which because of the smell attracts the raccoons, skunks and other critters and they have worked at the lower edge of my shed and pried the metal so that they can get in and go after the food leavings.
We, as an association, were able to take the food stuffs that we were going to toss down to our "burn pile" which is about a mile away from the populated area. Every one would toss their food that had gone bad on the pile because once a week the pile would be burned and the rotten food would be burned too. Because of this woman we no longer can do this either. She has NO control over the dog and the dog would go for the burn pile. She threw such a fit over the fact that the dog got sick (because he wouldn't come when she called him and she couldn't get him away from the burn pile) from what he ate.
The other neighbors toss the food on the roadway in front of their homes. There has never been a problem with our putting food out for the critters.
I just had a talk with the president of our HOA. He stated that I am NOT in the wrong concerning the situation. That the lady that is pitching the fit is the one that is in the wrong. He explained that there are several reasons for this statement. First, she allows the dog to roam off the leash and she has absolutely NO control over the dog. Secondly she is contacting me directly and being nasty and using unnecessary profanity in dealing with the situation, as the rules state, she needs to present the problem in the form of a letter to our board of directors and NOT contact the member in person. Plus she is harassing a disabled person. Also she is trespassing on another person's property to "inspect" to make sure that I am NOT putting food out for the animals. She has been very nasty with other members about the same subject. We put out lettuce, carrots, tomatoes and other veggies for the animals to chew on. We also put out bread for the birds. This has been happening since the inception of the association, which was in 1958. Also, the dog has shown aggressiveness towards other members dogs and has chased the wildlife which is against the rules that are stated in our membership booklet. The dog attacked a person's small dog (I think it was a Yorkie). Fortunately it wasn't injured, but the woman was told that the dog HAS to be on a leash.
The president of the HOA asked if I kept the messages from the woman. Which I had the presence of mind to keep them on the machine. If push comes to shove, the HOA will want the messages as proof of her not keeping with the rules. Also, if it comes to it, I will need the messages as proof in court.
Normally I would say she is right, but with the changes I have made to keep her happy (feeding the cats on the roof of my home) and keeping any food stuffs that have gone bad in a garbage bag in my shed until I go to town to get rid of my garbage. What she is doing right now is petty "get even" tactics to make my life miserable. She is the kind of person who expects everyone to bow to her wishes and if they don't she makes their lives miserable. Also trying to talk to her face to face is nearly impossible as she would simply start swearing and yelling at me and making unreasonable demands on me, which also would include that I don't use my fireplace when they are in (so what if it's winter and I would freeze. In her mind her demands need to be recognized and respected right now!)
I hope I have cleared it up a bit. I felt a lot better when the president of the HOA came by to explain what was going to happen and that she has racked up four infractions of the club rules...which would result in their being expelled from their property. As I told the president, I don't want that to happen, I just want the woman to back off and leave me alone.
@mysticmaggie (2498)
• United States
17 Dec 10
The additional information definitely changes the picture considerably. No one, no matter what the reason, has the right to verbally berate a person. If she is not keeping her dog on a leash, she can be brought up on charges, especially since her dog has already attacked another. That means it is very possible it could attack animal or human.
According to the rules of your HOA, she may be charged a fine for not following them.
I hope everything settles down for you, but it doesn't sound like your neighbor will act with any decency until someone can be a bigger bully than she is.
Good luck.
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
15 Dec 10
Hey, wait a minute, is this the lady that sued you about a sewing machine, or am I on the wrong block on MyLot? Surely there cannot be two such crazy and cantankerous neighbors in this country, let alone in the world. I understand that you do not want to be complaining all of the time. Talk to the phone company about the harassment. They may block her number from calling your phone. I know sometimes you have to pay a fee, but it is much cheaper than losing the money by blowing college classes. Post your property "no trespassing" and take pictures of her dog off leash in your yard. Yes, by all means, see an attorney.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
17 Dec 10
The lady that is causing problems now is a totally different lady. I use the term lady very loosely. I have her calls saved on my answering machine and the first one is filled with profanity! It is enough profanity to make a sailor blush! The sewing machine lady passed away two weeks ago. I am very sad about her passing because of the way she passed and the fact that for almost ten years she was like a mother to me. I spoke to her ex daughter in law and found out that the woman had a disease that was eating huge amounts of her brain cells daily. The doctor told them that the woman wouldn't last through the end of the year, and she passed away two weeks after Thanksgiving. I understand that the lawsuit and the accusations were because of the disease and her husband did all of this because of the fact that if he didn't she would be ranting and raving for months about the situation.
I am going to put a dish of food out for the cats this weekend, and if the woman pulls the same garbage again, I am going to an attorney. This is harassment and it has to end. I have known the husband for 27 years and like him a lot, he is a very easy going person who is so sweet. I asked if he could help move Bill's washer and dryer into Bill's house and the husband hopped to and got a couple of other neighbors and the set was moved in less than ten minutes. Bill and I don't think that the husband knows what is going on with the woman, and I'm not going to try to discuss it with him. I have the beef with her, and she is the one who is going to get knocked on her A$$!
One fortunate thing is that I didn't flunk either class that I was worried about. I was so surprised at the grade I received in the online class that I was sure that I was going to blow totally. I got a "B" in the class. The other class I also got a "B" in...which surprised me too.
There really isn't a need for pictures of the dog or the woman. The association rules state that dogs need to be under the owner's control at ALL times and there are a lot of people who have had a good laugh at her trying to control this massive chocolate lab. As for her, she took pictures of the turkey carcass on MY lot, so it proves that she was trespassing. The head of the home owner's association informed her that she can't be the one complaining because her name isn't on the deed to the property. He also stated that she is in the wrong because she isn't controlling her dog. Then to put the icing on the cake he told her that if she continued to complain, that she would be fined for having her dog off a leash.
Actually, I thought of blocking her from calling, but I realized that every call she makes to complain would be further evidence of her harassment. 
As much as the calls upset me, I would rather have the evidence for court.
I think that the area that I live in seems to be the gathering place for crazy unstable overbearing people! I usually make friends of them if possible, and ignore them if it isn't. It's when they feel that they can tell me what I can and can't do in my own home that I get upset.
As much as the calls upset me, I would rather have the evidence for court.
I think that the area that I live in seems to be the gathering place for crazy unstable overbearing people! I usually make friends of them if possible, and ignore them if it isn't. It's when they feel that they can tell me what I can and can't do in my own home that I get upset.
@ElicBxn (63638)
• United States
8 Jan 11
I guess I would take it to my heart to call the home owners association every time her dog violates the rules. Complain about their car disturbing your sleep (maybe it needs an expensive fix?) In fact, I would be on the horn in retaliation until they tell her to knock it off...
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
13 Dec 10
Hi there Loverbear,
Yes, it is long but I read every word. I don't know how you have held your temper for as long as you have. I think it is time you put this crazy lady in her place. I bet she would back off from you. It is YOUR home and you should not be jumping through hoops to please her just because she doesn't like you leaving food out for your animals or she doesn't like the smell of your smoke. I would issue a complaint with the home owners association against her truthfully. I think you have tolerated enough harrassment from her...more than enough. For some reason, she is picking on you and my guess is that it is because she senses that you are young and intimidated by her and will appease to her btchiness. Stand up for yourself, Loverbear. You don't deserve to be treated like this in your own home. That is a place where you should be at peace and be comfortable and she is invading your space big time! 
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
13 Dec 10
First, I would like to send you the biggest hug in the world!! Your post has made me feel much better. I was so upset yesterday, and when my boyfriend came down I refused to leave the house while the couple was still here. I don't want a confrontation with the woman because my health won't stand more harassment.
I will say that the head of the home owner's association is fed up with the number of calls he gets from the woman. He has stated to her that she is not the legal owner of the property and that she is totally out of line with her complaints. I have decided to consult an attorney about the harassment. As it has been said, this amounts to harassment. The big thing is that her dog is NOT under her control. She walks him off the leash and when she calls him, he goes the other way and ignores her. Both our association and the county that we live in has a leash law, and the dog is never on a leash. He goes on other people's property and poops, and she doesn't bother to clean it up. I have watched it happen and I decided long ago that I wasn't going to spend my time complaining about HER actions. It is a pain in the kister, and it doesn't make friends. Usually I can make a quiet comment and the neighbors and I remain friends and the problem is taken care of.
I am not a great person for tolerating conflict. My parents fought daily when I was growing up, and their constant battles took their toll on me. I don't do confrontations, arguments (unless they are in fun about something that is unimportant) or screaming matches. I stay in my home and work on my teddy bears and other art works. Also I am taking college classes so I am also sitting someplace quiet with my nose in a book. Although because of the upset from her complaining, I lost a majority of points in one of my classes. I will be amazed now if I pass the class. (Wonder if I should charge her for the class that I just blew because of her...that amounts to about $1000)
Thank you for such a wonderful response, and tons of hugs to you. I hope your holiday season is as great as you are.
@CRIVAS (1815)
• Canada
12 Dec 10
Wow. Well first off I have to say that this lady is a real pain in the @$$! Seriously, does she have nothing better to do with her time then to harp on others. If she doesn't want her dog getting into the food (which I gather you leave on YOUR property) then she needs to keep her dog on her own land, and away from yours. Now my recommend that you complain right back. Let this guy she is complaining to know that these are your PETS and that you have a right to feed and keep them at your disgression. Second I would let him know that you would like to complain about the noise her dog makes, as well as the fact that she is not following the rules by keeping said dog restrained. There is no reason for her to act the way that she does other than the fact that she is a bitter, grumpy old cow, who needs to learn how to mind her own problems and leave you alone. As for the smoke from the fire place, I wouldn't not light it just to make her happy. Why should you when she makes your life miserable. I personally would let the guy in charge know that you are lighting it, with nothing other than the wood you are supposed to use, and that he can expect ANOTHER unwarrented call from this lady. That way he will know that this isn't something that you can help, if the fire is your heat source and he should know this, as well as any problems that the fire may cause (which I am sure this lady is making up) and he will be able to deal with the situation better than you would.If you try dealing with this lady on your own, I have the feeling that things will only get worse. If you go to the land owner, things will be in his hands and you'll no longer have to worry about it. I am so sorry that this bag is being so mean, don't let her get to you. I don't know you but judging from the writing I have to say that you sound like a very responsible person, (Study hard and you'll do fine) who also has a very kind heart (you keep feeding and enjoying those little critters.) and I think that this lady just has issues of her own and since she doesn't know how to deal with them productively, she is taking it out on you. Please don't let this lady get to you, it just isn't worth it. I hope that things resolve themselves and I would like to wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.
@zenkey23 (416)
• Philippines
12 Dec 10
Awesome work!
Thanks for sharing this NOVEL! :) hehe.
Honestly u just read the half of it because its too long but i can still understand it. :)
You`ve done a great work. I hope i can be like that.
You put too much effort on this. :)
I want you to be my friend if you would give me the privilege:)
Thanks for this wonderful post.
Happy mylotting PAL. :)
[Im just curious how much money you will earn on this long topic? ^_^]
