how could i?

Tweet

december 2004,i met a guy who became my friend, then close friends, best friends until we been like brother and sister. as time goes on, since every week we are together jamming around strolling anywhere like nothing. then one time he brought his fiance as like before strolling anywhere, boating. then his fiancee and i are being close friend. like a common friends are texting each other. sometimes she called ask a favor to check my friend because she is texting texting yet there no reply. when i check him on his house i just found out that he is just playing computer games. until, January 2, 2007 after new year, somethings happened to me, i got a heavy fever. when he check me, he is so worried checking my pulse rate,thermometer, since he is graduating of his nursing course by that time. he cared me like nurse cares their patient in the hospital. and all along i thought that is just a brother's care for his sister. and he himself wonder why he was so worried of me.then after that he is more concern in me. until time goes on that he always missed me, texting me which is not used to us. his vacation came may 2007, we been more being together that was the time that i felt something's wrong between us. but i just ignore it coz maybe it just a wrong thought of mine. but as a girl you can feel what is it. and i feel it. then months after he begun to research my school activities, texting my friends asking about my affairs, who courted me. my friends begun to wonder why he did that to the fact that he has a fiancee. until one day, he talk to me seriously, asking me "would you be my girlfriend?" i was so shock and mumble. i don't know how to answer that question . after a few moments i found myself saying "no". then,he ask "why?". i could not say even a single word. i'm so speechless. then, the next we talk it about that again. just a simple answer of his question "why?" is that "you have a fiancee and i am very much sure your parents will hate me if we well be together. after few days, his cousin ask me if "is it true that my friend and his fiance split up?". and i have really no idea. i felt guilt coz maybe i am the reason of that. but sad to say, he did not accepted that i disregard his proposal and he continue until we have been secret relationship for more that a that nobody knows it coz the way we treat each other in front of people around us is like the way we treat each other when we were still friends. until last year it is being reveal then his parents begun to hate me because they don't like me coz i am just a poor. i don't know what will happen to us. all i know is just to love him.