How do I develop a better relationship with my mother?
By goldenkagi
@goldenkagi (137)
Philippines
December 15, 2010 1:47am CST
Both my mom and I have short tempers, and it doesn't help that she's rather hard of hearing. One of the leading causes of our conflict is when she asks me something or tells me something, she gets mad because "I don't answer," when in fact, I do. Our conversation will go something like this:
Mom: Will you go out today?
me: yes
Mom: Are you going out today?
me: yes
Mom: I said, are you going out today?
me: Mom, I said yes.
Mom: No, you didn't
me: Yes, I did, I answered many times
And it will go on until she gets really mad at me. Please give me advice on how I should deal with this. I do try to be more patient. But sometimes, when I answer in a louder voice, she will accuse me of yelling at her. Sometimes, I really don't know how to react anymore. One time, I was so upset that I cried the whole night. Please help me!
1 person likes this
4 responses
@nicregi (1934)
• Malaysia
15 Dec 10
First of all, mothers are always mothers. Sometime and most of the time they are a little off track. However, all we can do is stick up with patience as we are here on Earth because of them. Regardless how bad they are, they most be cared for always! Take care of her and make her feel like a queen.
In your case, I would suggest you give her a little time and spend more time with her. With this, maybe she will feel better :)
@goldenkagi (137)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
I do spend a lot of time with her, 90% of my day is with her. :) Thanks!
@jhanak (2)
• India
15 Dec 10
Dont take tension. just avoid talking when she is in high temper. once she cools down then you go and make her understand. remember shouting is not a solution. a relation needs agood effort and time to flourish and blossom. she is your mom she definately loves you but her style is different.
@goldenkagi (137)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Yup, I know that her style is definitely different! I try not to meet her head on when she's angry. Thanks!
@cdparazo (5765)
• Philippines
15 Dec 10
I also had the same experience with my mom. Even now, there are times that I loose patience with her because I had to repeat myself several times and its gets tiring. But along the way, I learned patience. Indeed, patience is a virtue my friend. It's not easy but I do consciously stop myself from getting angry with her. I also speak slowly and when I speak I make sure that I am facing her so that she could see my mouth moving. I just kept in mind that whatever conflict we had before were all just passing and what is constant is her love for me. I learned to tame my temper, hold my tongue and to be patient with her. I came to realize that my mom needs me to be more patient and that its part of her getting old.
@goldenkagi (137)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Thanks! I do try to be patient with her, and to speak more clearly and loudly for her to hear. And I know that she's my mother, who deserves respect and love from me. I know she loves me too, and I just hope that I'm able to be the best daughter I can be to her.
@Caduceus123 (44)
• Philippines
15 Dec 10
im also not close to my mom. there some things why i cant understand here. but there are also times that im sad for her. everytime i feel angry to her, i just think of the things she did for me in the past.
@goldenkagi (137)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Thanks, me too. i try to think of the happy and fun times we usually have when we're fighting, and how much more fun and happy we would be if I kept my temper. I just wish there was a way for me to be pro active in helping her keep her temper too.
