Does this fall under &quot;CHEATING&quot; ?

@saphrina (31551)

• South Africa

15 Dec 10

No matter what you think or feel you should always be honest to your parents and partner. Take the bashing as it comes at least you were honest then. TATA.

1 person likes this

honesty

@saphrina (31551)

• South Africa

15 Dec 10

Hello meluan.

@saphrina (31551)

• South Africa

15 Dec 10

@saphrina (31551)

• South Africa

15 Dec 10

naruto

@akp100 (13640)

• India

15 Dec 10

well.. I was just hiding my exams result during college days. But as you mentioned i always told them truth whenever they ask... So it is hard for me to tell either it falls in cheating or something else !!! But i guess it is just hiding rather than cheating..

By the way get well soon for your leg.

1 person likes this

hiding

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

15 Dec 10

Naaah i never had to hide my report card ... coz i'm good at studies except social

That would be more of a shock for them coz i have been drinking for more than four years now --- i really doubt if you're a senior in this aspect to me

1 person likes this

naruto

@akp100 (13640)

• India

15 Dec 10

naruto

@akp100 (13640)

• India

15 Dec 10

In that case i am not even beginner in drinking.

You win.

1 person likes this

Lore2009

@Lore2009 (7378)

• United States

16 Dec 10

Until a few years ago, my parents didn't know everything about me. Then, I told them everything and now, I don't think it's really necessary, so if I feel like it, I tell them, if I don't, I don't. When I did hide a lot of things from them when I was younger, I felt like I was cheating them and the guilt ate me up. Now, it doesn't bother me so much... I think, I am more aware of who I am now and what i want to be, that is why. I wish to be with someone who knows my good and bad side, so best to stay bad first and show them the good side after, ahhaha! Here's a good quote you reminded me of: "I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." — Marilyn Monroe

1 person likes this

Lore2009

@Lore2009 (7378)

• United States

16 Dec 10

Exactly.. there will be no disappointments that way.

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

17 Dec 10

unfortunately there are ... initially

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

I do not believe in First impressions and neither do i believe that everything which seems good isn't really GOOD. Thats why i prefer to start off being bad and end up good than to be other-wise. btw i like that quote of Marilyn Monroe

TigerSpirit

@TigerSpirit (320)

• Australia

16 Dec 10

No, that's not cheating. You're an adult, you have a right to live your own life and make your own decisions. And that includes telling your parents of your habits. The exception to that rule is if you use common sense when you're drinking. For example, if you enjoy driving whilst drinking, you might want to warn your parents to brace themselves for a phone call from either the hospital or the police. But aside from that.. it shouldn't be a problem. For the record, I'm not an excessive drinker, and there's not many things I do that's naughty, but I do still have a habit or two I choose not to reveal to my mum. (My father has long since passed away)

1 person likes this

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

Nope i never drive when i'm drunk...what matters to me is if i'm being loyal or not! I never lied to them about this issue so i wouldn't consider it to be cheating either upfront i should get out of this guilt feeling.

TigerSpirit

@TigerSpirit (320)

• Australia

16 Dec 10

That's just it. You're not lying to them, so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. You admitted yourself, if they actually ask, you'd tell them the truth.

TigerSpirit

@TigerSpirit (320)

• Australia

16 Dec 10

...I should add.. wherever his spirit it, I hope to goodness he's not watching me when I am being naughty. ;)

hardworkinggurl

@hardworkinggurl (37063)

• United States

15 Dec 10

I would add my two cents but not worth too much. Just be honest with yourself and that is all that matters. As if you can live with yourself and still be the person you are then no problem right??

1 person likes this

socializing

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

15 Dec 10

They would come to know about it one day or the other...so why not reveal it one fine day :) I can hide it but i do not wish to

hardworkinggurl

@hardworkinggurl (37063)

• United States

15 Dec 10

@sunny It falls under being able to live with yourself, so if this will do it, why not. @ life.. I just re-read my response and find it quite nice also. Thank you for responding.

Laurelle11

@Laurelle11 (409)

• Australia

15 Dec 10

Hi Sunnycool, I think that you should probably tell your parents whats going on as that probably already know something but not what. I used to hide things from my parents and discovered it was not worth it in the end because then they were disappointed in me and that was worse than being yelled at. I am older now and I teach my kids that it is better to tell me at the start than let me find out on my own. Everyone has a good and bad side but time matures us and we tend to learn from out mistakes. Bite the bullet and tell them before they ask.

1 person likes this

parents

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

Farther Mountains are always greener ... one gets to know about them only when they get closer.So is think....i had hidden this stuff for longer now.

Dr. Ann

@drannhh (15219)

• United States

17 Dec 10

Is it the next morning and does your head hurt? Well, to answer your question, I don't have any parents. So I can do what I want. But I never drink and have never ever been drunk so I have nothing to tell. As for relationships, I know that some people can live together and have separate lives, but not me. I am a little psychic so no partner is going to be able to hide much from me. Also, I would not enter into a relationship with anyone who was not forthcoming. It is OK for someone to have a few faults, but the important thing is that the faults be ones I can live with. Will you still love the strange girl you will meet someday if you find out she has faults too?

Dr. Ann

@drannhh (15219)

• United States

18 Dec 10

I have a friend who sounds much like you. His birthday is near the end of June. Were you a summer baby?

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

19 Dec 10

ahhhh what do you mean summer baby lol?

My b'day falls in october --- now tell me if i'm a summer baby or not hehe

1 person likes this

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

18 Dec 10

Nope my head never hurts the next morning! It depends on "the kind of faults she has" --- if they're small and stupid then there shouldn't be any problem else i got to think about it as loving and marrying someone isn't as easy as expressing your love and above all I HAVE TO TRUST HER which is really important for me coz i got a problem believing people until and unless i know them a bit more ... there's no way i take my step ahead blindly.Heard of folks saying time is a great healer...well it also provides us with some timely solutions and unexpected relationships which are to be preserved than to be kicked(my thoughts).Until the moment i get to trust her completely i prefer to be silent and then nothing can really stop me from then on.

1 person likes this

TheRealDawn

@dawnald (85146)

• Shingle Springs, California

15 Dec 10

Well things may be different where you are, but I think as an adult you have a right to keep some things private, especially if you know your parents are not going to be very understanding about it.

1 person likes this

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

There is heck of a difference when it comes to the way people accept things by my side and your side...i do not consider this to be private stuff though!If it were so i wouldn't have discussed it in here

2 people like this

savypat

@savypat (20216)

• United States

15 Dec 10

It sounds to me like the person getting hurt here is you. If you are cheating anyone you are cheating yourself. Your parents may or maynot know what you are doing, I know I did when my son was going the same way you are, but he was an adult and he had been raised to know just how much damage he could do to his life by these actions. Thank goodness he grew out of it and now is a Dad with young adults of his own to raise. So please consider what you are doing and whom you are cheating on. YOU

1 person likes this

choices

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

I feel bad about it sometimes...now that i have made up my mind to reveal this to my parents it shouldn't bother me anymore.

1 person likes this

Ifamous

@ifa225 (14460)

• Indonesia

15 Dec 10

sorry to hear that... everybody have bad and good side. i don't hide the bad from my parents , i guess u should talk to them about who you really are and try to get the solution.

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

Yup femalien ... i would talk about this in the coming days

Ifamous

@ifa225 (14460)

• Indonesia

16 Dec 10

while waiting, you can learn to control your emotion. so u can be a better man and that is the way your parents hoping for. or maybe you can talk to me, a friend to rely on

here is my number 123456789, just call me anytime u want to

cheat

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

You forgot to recharge my mobile number which is 987654321

JudgeIronFist

@JudgeIronFist (2472)

• Singapore

15 Dec 10

I think it's better to come out honestly with your habits. It's not good to keep them in the dark. I've tried this kind of things before, with my results and everytime they managed to find out. Lies are meant to be exposed. Be truthful first and the impact won't be that big, trust me

1 person likes this

cheating never benefits anyone really

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

I know that ... may be they might offer some classes(kinda brainwash) for a couple of days as how a teen should be :)

1 person likes this

Sue21

@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)

• Pamplona, Spain

5 Feb 11

Hiya sunny, My youngest Son never says anything to me yet I know most of what he does too and the eldest one. Don´t you think that your Parents might already be guessing what is going on to a point?. I have found out things on my own without messing into their affairs or going into their Rooms to find anything out. I just don´t say anything unless they say something to me and then sometimes then they don´t catch on that I know. A Mom knows lot´s of things perhaps more than the Dad I would imagine. It´s good to be who you want to be but within reason. We have all been through that stage too. If you feel you have to tell them I would tell them and that way you take a weight off your mind. They probably already have guessed it´s only normal anwyway.

Sue21

@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)

• Pamplona, Spain

6 Feb 11

Hiya sunny, You are right it´s so hard to hide anything from your own Mom sometimes they are forever watchful. It´s in our instincts to be like that. I always know when something is going on with my Sons or with my Husband they cannot hide it from me. Not that I say anything to them either. I just pick it up form them and observe from a distance so to speak. A drink or two never hurt anyone every so often if something is troubling you so much try to talk to your Mom about it if you can. She will have already picked it up anyway. Maybe she is not sure what it is but she will want you to say something to her about it. If you have a Friends Mother you can trust try talking to them instead if you don´t want to talk to your Mom about it now.

purplealabaster

@purplealabaster (22091)

• United States

5 Feb 11

So, what happened with this? Did you ever tell them that you drink? Did they find out from someone else? Are they still in the dark about the things that you do? I do not think that it is necessarily cheating nor do I think that your parents need to know everything about you and what you do. You are an adult and as such you should be able to make your own choices. Of course, that also means that you have to deal with the consequences of those choices without asking for help, especially if you are not going to be honest about the things you do. If you are still relying on your parents for things, and if they have expectations about your behavior as long as you are "under their roof", then that is a different story, in my opinion.

purplealabaster

@purplealabaster (22091)

• United States

6 Feb 11

I wasn't trying to suggest that you were keeping this a secret from them ... or if not a secret at least not being upfront with them about the drinking ... due to your relying on them for money. You just asked whether or not we thought it was cheating, and I was giving my opinion on the matter in general not about you specifically. I lived with my parents for a short while after I had moved out, and when I moved back in with them I felt like a young child again, because I had to abide by their rules, even though I had been out on my own, had my own apartment, and thought I was an adult. I was even giving them money to stay with them and bought my own food, etc., so I wasn't relying on them for money, either.

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

6 Feb 11

Me not talking about this with my parents has nothing to do with my reliance for money.Couple of my friends who were drunk collapsed on their door steps lol and parents never expect that from their children. I do drink but not to an extent where i end up quarelling or create a ruckuss.

1 person likes this

purplealabaster

@purplealabaster (22091)

• United States

6 Feb 11

That is not exactly what I meant, Alice. In general, if we make a wrong choice, then we can ask for help, especially from our parents. If we make a choice that goes against what they expect of us, especially when we are relying on them for food, shelter and other comforts, then I do not think it is fair to ask them to help us. If it is something really bad and we have learned a lesson, on the other hand, then it might be alright to ask as we will not make the same mistake again. If they refuse to help, though, I think that is also understandable. Then again, do not listen to me as I rarely know what I am talking about.

As for the applecart ... I do not remember any applecart ...

RachelleNH

@RachelleNH (1396)

• United States

15 Dec 10

I think that everyone has something they're hiding-

especially from their parents. I would rather have someone completely know me-and love me for who I am-even with my faults-than to have them love me for who I'm not.

Have a great day!

1 person likes this

skeletons in the closet

vices

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

My thoughts too ... i would love to hated for what i'm than to be loved for something i'm not

pergammano

@pergammano (7682)

• Canada

16 Dec 10

I find this rhetorically FUNNY..sunny!Being the Mother of an adult son whom thought he was pulling the wool over my eyes. I knew the moment he had his first smoke...and his first drink! Both of these habits contribute extremely to your presence! Your parents can smell the residuals of your libation on your breath, and see it in your demeanor! No..the only one you are fooling...is yourself, and they are just calmly waiting for you to admit your "secrets" and with that, you will have crossed the threshold of adulthood, by being honest, for which they will respect you more! Cheers!

@sunnycool (12714)

• India

16 Dec 10

I dont think they're aware of it ... anyhow i would be revealing it in the near future...i would be sooo shocked to see them respecting me then lol

Sanitary

@Sanitary (3968)

• Singapore

20 Dec 10

PArents are not stupid. They know what we are up to just that they turn a blind eye to whatever we are doing as long as we come home safe, did not create any trouble outside. Depending on our age, some parents are more willing to give us more freedom because we are old enough to know what we are doing. LIke u said, u got home drunk, u think your parents won't be able to smell it on u? It's just that they choose to ignore.

cheating