Should I send a Christmas card?
By Suzieqmom
@Suzieqmom (2755)
United States
December 15, 2010 7:42am CST
This is a sad story, and I am not sure what to do. Our cousin's husband died unexpectedly this week, leaving behind 6 children--3 are adults, and 3 are still kids. Of course we will send sympathy cards and attend the services. But, my question is, should we send them a Christmas card? Applying traditional etiquette, the answer would be NO, but I am wondering if it is better for their kids to try and make this as "normal" a Christmas as possible. What do you think?
5 responses
@Caduceus123 (44)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
yes,,,its okay to send xmas card. i min, at least a positive greeting wud uplift their wearied soul. besides reminding them its xmas would bring them away from extreme sadness
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
17 Dec 10
Agreed, and well-said. I am going to send a beautiful card with words of peace.
@ricextreme (964)
• Ecuador
15 Dec 10
Just express them how much you love them, and try to celebrate this Christmas some different from the previous ones. Give them a lot of love, as they'll need this love from everyone around them.
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
17 Dec 10
Well said--this holiday will be different, and they need extra love and compassion. Ultimately, that is what will help them get through this.
@jitenha (10)
•
15 Dec 10
hi,according to me u sholud not send him any card, but ya you should take care u r cousin and specially children,so i think if possible for u and u r family then u have to spend christmas festival with them and give them lots of love and care,and try to make them happy ,may be they forgot this incident for some time,after love is the only medicine in this world who give relif from any pain,what u say?
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
17 Dec 10
I think you are right--the most important thing I can do is personal family time. Maybe my children can help cheer them up, or at least distract them from their sadness for a little while. Love is always the best medicine, followed by time. Thanks for the kind words.
@rhizjen (140)
• Philippines
15 Dec 10
Hi Suzieqmom! in my own opinion, you should not send them a Christmas card. It's better that you're with them during xmas time so that you'll help them lessen the pain of their loss. The hardest time of the left dear ones is whenever a special occasion happens and they wish that their deceased was still there to join them. As of now, personal comfort is what they need more than anything. Hope that I hrlp you in some way. Happy myLotting!
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
17 Dec 10
That's what I originally thought, but now I think I am going to send a card, and some gifts, too. Nothing too cutesy or tacky, just something to let the kids know that, as sad as this is, there will be happy times too, even though their father is gone. You are absolutely right about giving personal comfort, and that is the most important thing we can do. I saw the family yesterday, and made a promise to visit, not just over the holidays, but afterward when the long dreary days of January and February set in. Thank you very much for your kinds words--they do help.
@wonga94 (218)
• Singapore
15 Dec 10
Hi suzieqmom! Yeah, i believe that you should send them a card. Sometimes, little things like sending a Christmas card may mean a lot your cousin especially in this period of her life. Be sure to write encouraging words to help her through this crisis. Maybe even go the extra mile and spend Christmas with her and her children?
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
17 Dec 10
You are right on both counts--that is what we are going to do. They are staying with her mother at the moment, but will be returning home (closer to us) the day after Christmas, and we will be doing a "second" holiday with our family and theirs. Thanks for the thoughtful words.
