my only friend proposed me .
By whateva
@whateva (786)
India
December 15, 2010 1:36pm CST
he is my best friend from 3 years and my only friend i'll say, cous i dont make friends and people i stay around are quiet clear that i dont care, i've told em they are not my friends, and so i dont want more friends, but i was always lucky to have him and now he has proposed :|
this came as a surprise cous he is like a sibling to me, i call him brother and stil this happened, its kinda creeping me out, though i took it lightly and asked him if it was a mistake and he said ofcourse ya, but he said he loves me, when he hsould have probablys aid the like word that is mild but seriously love word is freaking me out, i do not like him that way, i cant even try to think that way..
i'm just afraid that he might stay friends just in hope to make me fall for him (i hate to think this way for him :|)
and also i'm afraid that this 3 yrs friendship might have been fake,cous what if he liked me since the beginning and stuck around just to make ''us'' happen and also i freak out on forever and psycho stuff (hating myself for comparing him to them) but its just for my safety, i've found loads of psycho and fake people..and he was true now i'm afraid :|
13 responses
@angeloglasser (134)
• United States
15 Dec 10
This is a hard position to be in I can understand that, and I can understand you freaking out about it I probably would too if one of my longtime friends ever did that to me. The best thing I can suggest to you is take a deep look inside and figure out exactly how you feel and then talk to him. Communication is key in any kind of relationship whether it be friendship, business, boy friend and girl friend, etc. You need to figure out where hes coming from and go from there. Without knowing his side of the story its hard to really judge what he is or isnt thinking.
@whateva (786)
• India
15 Dec 10
true but its kinda hard to trust right now, he says he would do nothing to harm our friendship but he cuts me off from my contacts ,doesnt this mean he'll still be interested and when he says ok just friendship and then he talks about staying around forever and ever ,i freak out like helll!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@angeloglasser (134)
• United States
15 Dec 10
I can understand how you feel, and if I were talking to him I'd probably tell him to step back and look at what hes doing to the friendship right now, he is hurting it. As far as him cutting you off from your contacts even if you were interested in a relationship with him that is bull, if he "loves" you he should be able to trust you and your other contacts. Its not his place to step in.
Just give it time and see what happens talk to him and do whats best for you.
@nicregi (1934)
• Malaysia
15 Dec 10
Hi there. First of all, you got to ask yourself if you are looking for a relationship or do you have feelings for him. I mean feelings as in love feelings than brother-sister feeling. Ask yourself deep down that question.
Do not doubt about his friendship towards you the last 3 years as he could very well be really your friend. However, in a long run, friendship could turn out to be love. Chill out and take a deep breath. Consider if you have feelings for him. This is definitely a yes or no question.
From there, once you have decided, you will know the answer and which path to take :)
Hope this works out for you my friend.
@angeloglasser (134)
• United States
15 Dec 10
Those are very good points to make, many times a good relationship, or marriage starts from friendship, this is true even with me and my wife we were friends long before we ever started dating or became an item.
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
You have a lot of negative thoughts going on in your mind girl! I think you should just continue trusting him that what you had at the beginning was indeed pure friendship. You cannot blame people for falling for you because they found something nice to you. I'm sure he did not intend to fall for you in the first place because no guy would wait for three years before they propose to a girl!
I still think you are very lucky to have him as a friend and if you really consider him like a brother, why don't you tell him about what's going on in your mind. If he's a true friend, he will try to remain as one. Talk to him and tell him this, be straight forward. Don't give him any hopes, just be honest.
@ellaangelus (283)
• Tokelau
16 Dec 10
that's why friends should remain friends, and nothing more.
do not worry about the 3 years, cause they weren't fake. if he still liked you or not back then, he still meant what he said (or at least i believe that), but you know him better than me. if he's acting now, different than he was back then because he proposed you, might mean that what he said in the past was real. if nothing changes in his behaviour, it might mean he was there for you because he wanted you to fall for him, but these are just assumptions, things than happen at times, not every time.
so i guess you're the only one who'll know for sure what to do in this situation
@pit33pit (534)
• Indonesia
16 Dec 10
why be scared, please give yourself the opportunity and learn all things with slowly
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
16 Dec 10
Real love begins with friendship--how do you think couples married 50+ years stayed married? Because under the romantic love, they genuinely liked each other!
But you have a problem, I guess. If you don't feel romantically toward him, you have to have a serious talk and lay out some limits. But remember, his feelings toward you, whatever they are, are a gift and even though you may not return them you should value them. You can continue your friendship if he can keep his feelings reasonable and act the same. Good luck!
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
15 Dec 10
Well, I know this feeling you're talking about, and it's true that once one falls for the other and takes the step of confessing, the things can't go back to what they were before. If you don't feel the same for your friend the right thing is to tell him straight, but most of people, even if they say they're ok with your answer and want to stay friends, will try to keep close to you just in case you end up falling for them. Then you might fall for another person, and your friend might be hurt too. Of course, I'm just talking hipotetically.
Human relationships are complicated, but I hope in your case everything can end up going well 
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
16 Dec 10
Hi Whateva!.
I think you had problem in trusting others or because you been so hurt in the past. I mean you already know him for 3 years and you must be know this personality of this man, you said he is your only best friend. Why bothers to ask others while you had 3 years friendship or you just not see because to focus on your self and how others were fake to you.
I think you don't deserve think him as psycho because you already making friend for 3 years and there is a chance he is in love with you because know who you are inside. If he like you from beginning, I think 3 years is really long way to wait and make you comfort with him. I tell you not many man will wait that long even they say love you very much.
@franne32 (694)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
Hmm why would you think that about him (the psycho stuff etc.) if you've known him for 3 years? Maybe he has developed his feelings for you over time and you should gently let him know that you have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. But you also have to make sure that you really don't because what if the time comes that you fall for him but he lost those feelings for you and fell for somebody else? If he is indeed your best friend, you can talk to him honestly about these things.
@MMichaels (89)
• Philippines
16 Dec 10
This is difficult. It seems you now have the decision that you don't feel the same way to him so I guess you should just stay as friends. Nothing more than that. If he says yes then good. Just look for hints if he turns back to the same same as he was before he had proposed to you. If there are hints (or signals) that suggest the other way around, then the best way is to confront him. You don't want fake friends. I hope he doesn't want that kind of friendship too.
I don't know if I help you out. I'm sorry .
