Putting conditions on good behavior
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
December 18, 2010 4:21pm CST
Shouldn't there be a certain standard of good behavior in a civilized world? You treat people decently, you don't attack them, you try and work things out with them. You don't justify bad behavior by blaming it on the other person who isn't giving you what you want. You don't agree to behave decently only if the other person will give you what you want. You are either a decent person or you aren't. This sort of thing speaks volumes about a person's behavior, and then they wonder why the person who has been treated this way doesn't want to trust them any more. You don't put conditions on good behavior unless you're some kind of gangster.
4 people like this
22 responses
Dawny i don't trust people anymore.
If you cannot be decent to me, get lost.
Good behavior or not.
I don't get the conditions for good behavior though.
Do i get a little star for my answer then?
TATA.
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
18 Dec 10
Character or "being good" is what you do when no one else knows what you are doing. You are good from the inside out. How you choose to behave is never someone else's fault. It is a choice.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Dec 10
OK well I will consider it to be said twice...
@commonground (367)
• United States
18 Dec 10
Aww, she took my answer :(
I don't have anything to say now.
2 people like this
@BarBaraPrz (47670)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
18 Dec 10
Something happen, dearie?
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
19 Dec 10
Just got in from the city an hour ago. so I leave you for a day and all hell appears to be let lose. What the thit is happening?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
19 Dec 10
I need to learn to say:
I've made my decision and there's nothing to discuss.
or
We're getting a divorce. There's nothing to discuss.
Until he gets it through his thick head.
Just another exciting discussion that put me in a really lousy mood...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 10
Get agreement signed, big changes after Christmas. If he doesn't sign, go to plan B.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
19 Dec 10
ONG said lose instead of loose. Must becoming demented. I have a big shoulder and a big ear if you want to talk. There has to be a specific time set for him to leave or yu to leave - whatever has been decided. This is all so awful for you
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
18 Dec 10
I am a good judge of character for myself that is and can certainly say that I am good either way you treat me. So no matter how others behave I will always be me and never be accused of conditioning my behavior.
Sure I can get upset and irritate from time to time, however I am still a well and good behaved human being. So this conditional thing thing I do not get it, as you either are or not.
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
19 Dec 10
Maybe because people are giving into their kids moods to much..If you will be good I will let you do this or that or have this or that....and so they learn at a early age....if they throw tantrums they get what they want...my brother has a girlfriend..oh lord help me..if she is in a bad mood...everyone is..until she gets what she wants..then everything is fine...I myself have mood swings but not like that..
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 10
I'm sure this was learned very well at a young age!
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
19 Dec 10
WEll If A person treats me badly I just dont pay any more attenton to them dont invite them back to my home but is that the same as being taken advantage of.
as we have been and now we dont want hem back tostay and we just might get 2 people back and a baby by Jan.
THey will come with no funds to find a place to live. They have stayed here before and neer put a dime in toward food or bills.
Just what should happen to people like this?
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 10
Interesting, I don't pay a whole heck of a lot of attention to him any more either. :D
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Dec 10
hi Dawn as usual you make such good sense and I agreee whole heartedly.
You either are a decent person or not as you said.P eople who only behave decently when you give them what they want are just users and what I call in my mind losers.I think that my Golden rule I try always
to live by makes me pretty much a decent person as I treat others as I
want to be treated and it does work for me too.I find that a lot of people trust me here and sometimes I get told more of their problems
than I really want to know, not that I refuse to help if I can at all times.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168256)
• Boise, Idaho
19 Dec 10
Very well said. This is how my grandson sees things at times. Most of the time he is such a loving, generous, sweet and kind little eight year old. But it is as if some demon takes over his body at times and he gets this twisted way of thinking. And I love it when he says if I let him do this then he will be good. Come on. It is very frustrating to try to make him understand that that is not how life works.
@bounce58 (17385)
• Canada
21 Dec 10
I think this is a wish list for people. Hoping that everyone we meet would understand this and would have similar views.
Unfortunately, once in a while you meet people who have different ideas.
I've met a few people like these. And sadly, in my life, they are still around.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
20 Dec 10
The only condition on good or respectful behaviour should be that it is mutual. I won't go out of my way to be nice to or help someone that treats me badly or without respect, obviously.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 10
Nice no, civil maybe. In this case, there are shared children, so a certain amount of civility for their benefit is necessary.
@RebeccaScarlett (2532)
• Canada
21 Dec 10
Ah yes. That is the mature and responsible thing to do, even if it is difficult. Your children are lucky that you understand that.
1 person likes this
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
18 Dec 10
I think that we should always be civilized to people, aslong as they are with us. We need to take control of our lives and if we make a mistake we should hold our hands up and do what we can to correct that mistake. To gain respect we must give and show respect to others, we need to look at positives in life and show that we can be a decent person and that we are a decent person.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Dec 10
yeah, me too, but it sure is hard sometimes when somebody else won't hold himself to the same standard.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
18 Dec 10
In a perfect world everybody would do that. Oh well. I'm a cockeyed optimistic dreamer nutcase! :D
@craigy123456789 (1759)
•
18 Dec 10
it is hard sometimes, but we should be the bigger people and not lower ourselves to their standards.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Dec 10
You are absolutely right and I've never in my life heard someone say that you only treat other people decently if they treat you in a humane way first. Instead, I've always been a person that treats others in a decent manner no matter what. The reason for that isn't that I feel like I should always be treated well by others. Instead, the reason that I behave the way that I do is because of the fact that I learned to be behave by the examples that my parents set forth when I was a child.
1 person likes this
@sunnycool (12714)
• India
19 Dec 10
I'm kinda mixture of Good and Bad --- "If you slap me then i would do the same" with no second thoughts until and unless you're retarted or drunk or someone really close to me or a woman.No conditions work on me coz i believe in what i'm doing.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
19 Dec 10
i think it should and many things should have more organization, of course there's no way how to punish bad behaviours but i think people should accept less, like saying out loud or getting in the middle, deffending others, to show that kind of behavior is bad
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 10
Too many things like that happen behind closed doors...
@Zaquas (21)
• Spain
19 Dec 10
Hellow, this is subjective
Because you can think you are a good person but someone other may think you aren't. I think it exists a "stardard" but it's the "ethic" of the world... anyways it changes in every culture (maybe not a lot but it changes) and it's so difficult to coordinate all cultures withouth a world leader that wants to do it... and for what? peace? yeah, that sounds good but politics don't want "peace", a lot of them want to be rich... It's the sad true
Anyway, I think we human will evolve some day (culturally) and will make a "global" culture and there will be the standard you talk about. The "rules" of good behaviour
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 10
Very subjective - for one thing you don't have the other person's side of the story. :D
