have you ever hated your father?

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it's almost 4 years now since my father died.. whenever i'm alone and silence is there, i recall how my father lived for the last months,, my father worked abroad for almost 14 years, he left when i was about 4 years old and come home every 2 years for just 2 or 3 months,, but last 2006, he became sick because of the chemicals in the company,, he decided to go home, but unfortunately, he went to her mother's place,, without us knowing it, it always crushed my heart seeing my mom with her gloomy face,, it always come to my mind, why would my father do that? doesn't he love us anymore,, a few days i've heard that he chose to go there because my mother was allegedly having an affair,, it's so depressing knowing that kind of issue, which i strongly believe isn't true,, my grandma just bluffed to my father to have his money on them,, but they didn't treat my father well, he was abandoned after all of his money was given,, so inhuman,, my mother went to get him back and to start a new life,, but my siblings,also me, did not like what he did,, we would ignore him, and i, being the youngest, would just avoid him,, this caused him so much pain, i can see it in his eyes,, i know we were wrong in treating him like that, but tell me,, is it right to just leave your family with just a rumor?? our first christmas was a disaster,, my brother had a fight with my father,, what can i do, i can't blame him for hating him,, but i swear to god that i regret it right now,, my father died may 6, and may 6 is the birthday of my mother..:c