Do you trust people easily OR ......?
By kiran8
@kiran8 (15348)
Mangalore, India
December 22, 2010 12:48am CST
When it comes to trusting people, different individuals have different yardsticks.I have seen some people trusting others far too easily even when there is glaring evidence that the other person is not worthy ! And, there are others who never trust even their close family members, so remain distrustful of people all their life. This may, of course happen because of some unpleasant experience !
But, one has to move on and not make an experience or two as the deciding factor for all future interactions !
I am generally a trusting person, I believe in my gut feeling where people and trust is concerned. However, there have been cases where I have trusted people far too much and they have stabbed me in the back, but those are rare cases.
On the whole, my personal feeling is that it is better to be cautious and trust people with money or intimate revelations about oneself only after you get to know him/her well and fell confident enough to do so...
what are your views and personal experiences friends regarding this?
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5 people like this
17 responses
@yugasini (12893)
• Secunderabad, India
22 Dec 10
HiKiran madam,
you may be correct madam,but according to the situation we have use other people to show that we are trusting them,but regarding money matters,if it is yours it will come if not it will not come,i have seen several cases like that,we are giving money you have to think that,that money is not yours like that,have you trust me regarding money matters,but regarding if it is in my extent i will do for you and trust you,have a nice day
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@yugasini (12893)
• Secunderabad, India
24 Dec 10
hi kiran madam,
thanks for the response,i too does not have enough money,money lending means only below thousand and that too if it is important only,on that occasions i will lend it to friends or relatives or some other ,but it is rare case,i does not have that much amount any time,so no worry to me,have a nice day
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
23 Dec 10
Hi sridhar,Thanks a lot for your response. What you effectively say is that when you lend money it is better not to expect it back.I would rather not lend if I do not have that much trust in the person, because, I cannot afford to keep giving money to people, however with close family and friends it is a different matter altogether.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
28 Dec 10
I understand sridhar ! There are some so called friends and relatives who easily take advantage of your generosity by not bothering to return the money that they have borrowed with a promise to pay back at the earliest...I have had several such instances which leaves a bitter taste and makes you distrust everyone...
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@supergrandma49 (90)
• United States
24 Dec 10
Take it from an old pro. I've been around the block trusting people. Most of the people that I trusted stole me blind in the end. The old friendship thing just doesn't happen much anymore. Beware, people have motives for friendship!
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
26 Dec 10
Hi,supergrandma,Thanks a lot for your response. It is sad to see that many of the old world values are crumbling and human relationships have become so very fragile - I too have felt that in most of the cases people have motives for being friendly...lets hope for the best in the coming New Year![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@supergrandma49 (90)
• United States
28 Dec 10
That sounds like a great idea. It would be great if the old friendship could return!
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@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
23 Dec 10
Hi indah,It has become a norm now to take advantage of people who are simple and trust easily. I am sure that among those who you are close to, your nature and personality will be highly appreciated - thanks a lot for the response indah, happy mylotting![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
23 Dec 10
Hi indah,It has become a norm now to take advantage of people who are simple and trust easily. I am sure that among those who you are close to, your nature and personality will be highly appreciated - thanks a lot for the response indah, happy mylotting![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@jennbart (1330)
• Philippines
23 Dec 10
The situation is of course a case to case basis. If the person has been around for quite some time and that they had proven themselves worthy to be trusted, then of course they would then probably earned my trust and that I might trust them even with my life. But what iam saying are the people who just came into my life. Those whom I just know.
@Reed201084 (347)
• United States
22 Dec 10
But sometimes do you think it affects the relationship with someone when your to non trusting tho? Does the other person start to sense he is not trusted and get uncomfortable? Like if there nature is more trusting , so they are gonna feel like they have been around long enough to earn your trust. See what I am saying?
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@Reed201084 (347)
• United States
22 Dec 10
At first, when i first started getting out on my own i was kinda gullible. As time went by and more lies flew, I started to set a criteria for who I trust and at what level i trust them. Once in awhile my big heart gets in the way, and i will trust someone that I barely know, and end up learning the lesson again. I try to trust my gut. Sometimes my gut tells me hey i get a bad feeling about this.I tend to avoid those people that give me that bad taste.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
22 Dec 10
Hi Reed, we learn after getting hurt, and then in some it may go the other extreme ! I guess you are too trusting by nature, and there is always someone ready to take advantage of a persons good nature. One can always trust one's gut, that has been my experience time and again - all the best and have a nice evening![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@Reed201084 (347)
• United States
22 Dec 10
Yes I have had the same experience. I really liked this question . Thank you so much for posting it.
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@love4kolkata (279)
• India
9 Jan 11
I and one of my friend met online. He wanted to meet me after 2months of chatting. But frankly I didn't trust him. so I took some time and postponed it. He didn't misunderstand it and took it in apositive way. After 6months we met. Because, by that time I already knew that I can trust him, he is not that bad. I think everything needs time sothat you know if you shoud trust that person or not. I really odnt trust a person at first site. I judge him/her very much. Then only I put my on them.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
9 Jan 11
Hi love4kolkatta, Thanks a lot for sharing your views ! Trust is a very sensitive issue, it can break very easily with just a single word or sentence.It depends on the individuals as to how much of sharing and caring there is for trust to develop and grow in spite of odds , so it takes a lot of time, not a few months - may be ears !all the best, enjoy your Sunday ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@sid556 (30960)
• United States
23 Dec 10
Hi Kiran,
I used to be one of those overly trusting people. I just could not imagine how awful and coniving some people can be. Got burnt a lot and learned. I'm pretty careful now and my trust radar is more fine-tuned. I don't get used or taken advantage of too often anymore.
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
23 Dec 10
Hey Kiran! Unfortunately I do trust to easily. I get sucked in and end up regretting it in the end. Its funny though because if you knew me you wouldnt believe this because Im the one who doesnt take any crap from anyone. People come to me when they need help. I can help anyone else and give them advice on who not to trust and who they can but I dont take my own advice. I must admit that about a year ago I made some changes in my attitude and behavior and Im not as trusting anymore. Im the type of person who is a FRIEND til the END. By this I mean that I will go the distance for you. Unfortunately Its not reciprocated. My fiance used to get so MAD at me! Since Ive mad some changes Ive opened my eyes as well. Now Im at the point where I trust NO ONE until they earn it. My life is so much better as far as the drama is concerned. My advice to anyone in this same predicament is that as much as we want to see the best in people, society is very complicated these days. For our own safety we must go slow and really take the time to listen and understand where people are coming from. DONT give out your information to YOUR MOTHER much less a stranger. I dont mean this disrespectfully. Im simply saying that some things are for you only. That was my problem I started to feel bad and the next thing you know Im giving them clothes, food, rides, then before I know it I have a room mate. NOT ANYMORE! Just be careful and cautious in all areas of your life. Make no decisions until you have thought them out carefully! If you make caution a part of the meeting people, friend or romance, you'll be ok. And if you do make a friend and they are being pushy, tell them you are in the habit of taking things slow. Getting to know a person is the best part. If they get offended or an attitude. DROP em like their hot. Happy MyLotting and Happy Holidays. dl
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
26 Dec 10
Hi dloveli,there is a lot of truth in those words - 'as much as we want to see the best in people, society is very complicated these days'..One will have to be extra careful while dealing with sensitive issues and better not to divulge too many details about oneself to anyone - thanks a lot for your views, enjoy the weekend ![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
26 Dec 10
Hi dodo,instincts or gut feeling or intuition is really helpful in making decisions where any personal matter is concerned including judging and trusting people. I too have felt that it is best to follow that feeling since most of the time it is the sub conscious which has assimilated facts and is sending us signals - thanks a lot for your response, all the best and have an enjoyable holiday season![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@webearn99 (1742)
• India
22 Dec 10
I usually begin to trust people after I come to know them over a period of time. Even then, I have been let down on occasions.
@cerebellum (3863)
• United States
23 Dec 10
I generally feel like you do. If I have just met someone, I give them the benefit of the doubt and trust them, until they give me reason not to. I don't trust them completely with my money or my secrets until I know them better. My initial instinct upon meeting them is usually right. There have been exceptions of course, but none come to mind so they must not have been much.
@pokumon (644)
• United States
23 Dec 10
I tend to be a pretty trusting person. I open up about myself maybe a bit too much at times. I tell people about my life fairly openly, but it wasn't always that way. In high school, I didn't tell anyone that I grew up in a cult until I was 13. I just wanted to forget that part of my life and start anew. I became really involved in high school extracurricular activities, but didn't really gain any true best friends. Everything was just sort of on the surface and I would mostly only hang out during school hours. I guess I was so busy with extracurriculars that that's really all I was allowed to do. Plus I had no interest in drinking or smoking or going to parties and to a certain extent boys (I had crushes but was too shy to act on them at all and I'm somewhat glad I waited to date although the first heartbreak nearly ended my college career because I became so apathetic and depressed after it). In college things changed again. I went by my nickname and disclosed my past to everyone I met and enjoyed sharing that part of my life. Enough time had passed. I became very sick in college and have been battling one illness after another and have been very open about it with my friends, a lot of whom have come to visit me in the hospital and have been crucial in cheering me up. I prefer to think positively and think that my various illnesses make me a more interesting person instead of being an invalid. I've only had one bad experience and that was very minor so I don't think I'll change the way I act around people. I go to a very smart school (Caltech) and they are generally very accepting and tolerant of people especially since no one is perfect. A lot of my friends have trouble and we get through them together. I finally have true good friends and it's great.
@kiran8 (15348)
• Mangalore, India
26 Dec 10
Hi pokumon,Thank you so very much for sharing your views here. I perfectly understand how you feel. Growing up is not easy, there are many pressures on a teenager and theey all add to the experience and to a certain extent the trauma of growing up and maturing. You seem to have handled it well by being wise about things.There is no set rile in life, just being able to make the best of the situation is the best way of handling your own life ! all the best and have a nice sunday![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@anitoton (389)
• Kolkata, India
24 Dec 10
i trust people after sometime.after working with him and watching him when i am in problem what he does i chose to or not to believe him..and also i think i can understand peoples mentality just only looking at their eyes and lips.someone may make fun out of it,all my friends used to do.but now they beleive..i am blessed with that power..
@sy0712 (155)
• China
22 Dec 10
For me ,in fact I still believe other people easily,I always feel that the world is very beautiful,and the people around me is so good, no need to exist hostility between each other,then hurt each other,actually think carefully the cognition is actually a bit silly get,actually the world we live is not safe far from what we think ,danger always exists,so in our life or carefully point,trusting carefully consider before,the other party is worth your trust.
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