Looking at Your Life

Yes, I knew this, but usually people see their lives as being worse than others think, rather than you who feel your life wasn't that bad. I also think you had a rough year with your mom and dad, and some minor things with your sister. Myself, when I feel that my life is bad, I ponder on those who have less than I do and sometimes that helps. I try to get my family to do this as well, because they tend to whine about their life which is why I tend to think most people see their lives as worse, not better than others...

I don't know that anyone outside looks at me and feels sorry for me. I know I have felt that way more than a few times. I will say that 2010 was probably about the worst year of my life. 1998, 1984 and 2007 following in probably that order. So, I have to hope that next year will be better - I guess, tho, as I age I have to expect more friends to die.

yes this has happened to me with the cancer and the stents being put in heart and legs. I just thought that I was goin gon with life with no complaint like you I paid no attention to thing just ent on like I always have but I have been called a troper and a fighting person to keep going!

hi ambie pam oh yes I was talking to one of the residents who is maybe ten years younger. He knew I was a kid during the great depression era and he was saying "oh my you must have really had a hard bad child hood and been pretty unhappy,.' I guess its all in our various perspectives a I thought I had a happy childhood , free to climb trees and hike on the farm and help pick strawberries and get veggies for our fresh salads, and we always had plenty to eat as we had a large farm garden. orchards and our own milk and cheese, and fried chicken. I had not thought of our life as hard at all. My mom was an excellent seamstress and made me really pretty dresses. So when I said no my childhood was really happy he was puzzled but he had grown up in New York city and was taken to musemums, art galleries etc so he thought farm living was a hard life but it did not seem like that to me growing up.I had loving parents and my moms dad, my dear grandpa so I was a happy child Maybe not having a lot of stuff helped as I did not miss what I did not have. I had fresh air and sunshine and a dog and six cats, and a huge farm to explore and it seemed like lots to me as a kid.

Sometimes we underestimate what we are going through especially while we are growing up because we didn’t know any different at the time. I had a lousy childhood due to my parents’ abusive dysfunctions and a lot of the memories I had suppressed for many years until I was in my late thirties and they all came flooding back with the new found realisation that the way my parents treated my sister and I was not okay and no, we did not deserve it! It was difficult to deal with and I experienced a lot of anger followed by deep depression which I am still dealing with by taking medication. The memories returned and I became aware that life up until that point had not been great; sure there are folks out there who have suffered a lot more than I did but my pain was real none the less. It was a blessing to have remembered because it has helped me move forward as a wiser person and a much better parent. Give yourself a pat on the back for withstanding all your tribulations and let’s hope we are all in for better times ahead!

Ambie, you have had it tough this year, from what I remember in your previous discussions. The difference here is that you have been a positive and strong person, unlike so many who would sink and flip with too much pressure. So it is common for others on the outside to look in and wonder how you could be coping. I see from this discussion that you have been a strong person, as you have been the one to hold it together for all. As for me this was the absolute worst year of my life. As I lost my long time job, and left with no absolute income. Due to my diligence, I have continued to look for work, and paid all the bills with my savings; which resulted in running out of all of my savings. The end result is that I lost my home I have owned for many, many years, still no job, no income, and my excellent credit is down the drain with creditors blowing up my phone. I have done everything within me to stay positive as after all I am healthy and breathing. I have learned to adjust to my New Found Life, but still diligently looking for work. So although many around me find that I should under a rock somewhere I find that I continue to keep my head up high and try harder. I so wish you a wonderful 2011, alongside all your loved ones.

Yes I know what you are thinking about and what you mean I can't share any examples Sweetie as I just get on with it or should I say I dealt with it and carried on I have been through a lot from the age of 5 yes but I had to accept it and carry on and there are People that have hard Life's but most of us like yourself get on with it and once it is over we carry on, that is why we never think it is bad, we think that is part of Life and either we beat it or it will beat us

I think it depends on how we all approach life ,and you seem to be doing good ,but for some people their lives would be a mess if they had experienced all the things that you have experience lately. People get sick, we can have money problems ,but we can survive and always hope for the best and be positive.

One example here that I think pertains to mylot is when people ask the question...if you could change one thing in your life...(or several) what would it be...seriously. I have had some hard times but not so very bad as some..I am like you...if something happened it made me stronger...I didn't look at like I was suffering etc....But in all seriousness...I hope you have a wonderful New Year..and you should have with your attitude!

Hello AmbiePam. It is a time of the year for us to look back onto the past for what we have done in the past 2010. It is just another so-so year as ever though I have achieved something academically. As to other fields of life, I mean, financially and physically, it is an ok year with nothing special, though I have made some extra earnings because of my extra work. Everything is smooth in general. Now we are at the beginning of the new year. I wish to be healthy in the first place. New year, new look. I wish you and your family to enjoy yourselves, my dear friend.

gOOD MORNING aMBIE, I guess people see us different than we see ourselves. I think maybe u are like me & are just thankful for what u have & just thankful things are not as bad w/u as they are w/others. I think u can always look around & should at people that have it alot worse than we do. I'm just thankful that things are as good w/me as they are. My health is bad but there are sure alot of people worse off than i am. One thing that use to get my goat was when customers would say to me 'if i had your money' yada yada. I thought that was a most stupid remark. I wouldn't have been standing there working like an idiot if i had money like they thought i had. duh! Happy New Year to u. Hope ur dad is feeling better & i am very sorry about your mom's dementia. I can relate to how sad that is because i have had family members w/it to.

You said something that answers your question. Quite often, it's much easier being the one going through the bad times than it is being someone watching you go through it. I can definitely identify! A few decades ago, I was going through a "rough" time but was getting by. I really didn't think much of it. I knew what I had to do and I did it. I didn't realize just HOW bad my life was until my stepfather said, "You are unbelievably strong going through all you're going through." I asked him what he meant and he began listing all the bad things that had been and were still happening in my life at the time. He was right about every single thing he listed and I began crying. I really didn't see it as anywhere NEAR that bad because I was dealing with one thing at a time, as it came up, and never really thought about the whole picture. My life really WAS horrible! Man! I wish he had never listed everything like that because it really hurt once it was all in my head at the same time. Yeah, it is almost always easier to be the one going through the hard times than it is being someone on the outside looking at everything you have to go through. You are a lot stronger than you realize. Almost all of us are.

Oh my sweet adorable lil' sis'! Oh how I wish I could be "there" for you, although you know I always am in spirit. It has been a very difficult year for you with the everyday dealings with your Mom's issues and then your Dad's medical stuff. But, at least your Dad will be ok, and your family is close and sticks together. You do have your "real Sister" and her husband after all. My year, was ok considering. I get very worried on the uneven years because for some reason those are my really "bad" years so I am praying that this won't be so this year. I am still with Lonnie, for whatever reason we are still together watching out for each other, at least sort of. My Mom, well that's a whole other story and one that also will never change so I just try to take it day to day! Have a very Happy and Healthy New Year to yoo and your whole Family my dear Amber~Love, Les

2010 was a very bad for me. I used to be always sick during the year. Hope 2011 will be a good one. I warn to earn as much money as possible from mylot and from that money i am going to Buy a PS3... Happy new year.

We have had a hard year with my arm being injured and then my husband not having a lot of work. It has been a long year and I will be glad to see it end. I do think that the new year is time to reflect on what we can do different to make it better.

Nope, I'm the opposite. I've had people tell me they'd switch places with me in a heartbeat.. (single women who can't have kids). I mean, I know I should be greatful that I have a loving husband and 5 beautiful, healthy, and relatively well behaved children. But to me my life is difficult! We have a LOT of financial stresses, and always have.. and that kind of drains a person, you know. How long can you go knowing you can't afford certain things? Year after year we miss out on doing things we love because we can't afford to. We miss out on buying things we want because we can't afford them. Finances aren't the only difficulty in my life. Being a stay at home mom to five kids, no matter how well behaved they are, is difficult. They're still kids, they still fight and argue and scream and cry and need to be told constantly to do their chores and clean up after themselves. They're far from perfect little angels. Sure, it's typical stuff.. but there's only so much of that a mom can take, and I've got it coming from 5 different kids. Then, my husband.. don't get me started. Sure he's loving and wonderful and all that.. but he gets on my nerves a lot too.. what husbands don't? So, to my friend, who was divorced, had a great job with a lot of money, and never had kids and no future love prospects.. my life looked perfect. To me, hers looked perfect! Not that I would trade my family for all the money in the world, you know what I mean. I guess most of the time I think my life is more difficult than others see it. Most people do sympathize with the raising 5 kids thing.. I often hear "Oh, I can't handle my one" or two or three.. "How do you do it?" stuff like that. But many also see all my blessings that I take for granted everyday. When you live the life and deal with the daily stresses, it's not always easy to take a step back and say "I'm really very lucky for... " Guess I'm just not as positive as some people are.