She makes me crazy

It sounds like this woman must have some real problems. I wouldn't worry about your son, it sounds like he handles this just right. Children are often more forgiving of their older people than they are of their parents and siblings. But if I were you I'd keep a close I on Grandma, she may be starting to have serious mental problems.

I don't think that she is crazy, but she might have Alzheimer's or she might have Dementia. It be that she does not care, but if I were you guys (your husband and you), I would have a talk with your MIL. She should not be doing this to her grandchildren. Her grandchildren will think of her as a terrible person if she keeps this up, and as her grandchildren get older, and she is in a worsened state, her grandchildren will not care about her. My step-father has 9 grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren and he remembers every single one of them. He gives them money and toys every Christmas even in their 20s. He loves them all and gives them anything that they want. My brother and I were the youngest of his children and he did anything for us. He is also currently dying of Cancer and he still gives to people. My great-grandmother, she was a demanding and stubborn woman (this runs in my family), but she had 23 grandchildren, and she remembered to give each and every one of them gifts for their birthday and Christmas. She had all of their names and birthdays written down on paper so that she would not forget a single one of them. Also, my mother used to babysit half of her cousins and my grandmother got to see most of them quite often.

That is disgusting, I do not get how any Grandmother can do this to their Grandchild it is hurtful, it is a sign of none acceptance and none caring A Grandmother or Father for that should appreciate their Grandchildren, treasure them I am so sorry that your Boy has been hurt that way, it should never have happened, but I am so glad that he was so polite about it as that was the best thing he could do, at least she can not accuse the Boy of being rude or anything I feel so sad for him

Is there some reason for this? I mean like Alzheimer's or something? I would hope that rather than just not caring. I would wonder. Idiotic stunt is right. SOmetimes I get so dispondant about the holidays I would like to forget about them but I don't. Especially not my grandkids. What a bummer for him.

I try not to let other people's favouritism influence my life. I think it is unfair but I don't want to be ever accused of it or let my kids do it. It sucks when people do it and it sucks even more when "adults" do it. I think that people that show favouritism have probably convinced themselvesat it is ok. It is better to move on and make sure you tell the 14 year how mature he is.

hi Nadinest1 i know how the satiuation is difficult but what can we do ? maybe the grand-mother is old enogh to forget her name also :) for the 14 year old kid you can give him the gift and told him/her that the grand-mother send it by e-mail or just tell him the truth that grand-mother getting old and she start to forget how to manage things and forget things also hope that will help all of you parents and kids

Well this is the nice thing about myLot we can tell what's going on and we can clearly understand a lot of other peoples lives. I don't come from a family with money by any stretch of the imagination but my mother smokes and seems to get by. We have what's known as dollar stores and we can buy very decent greeting cards for a dollar a piece. My daughter is now 38 years old and is my mothers first and only granddaughter and she has never as much as received a birthday or Christmas card so do I understand? Oh yeah all to well my friend, all to well. No matter how short funds are and I have seen some pretty hard times I have always had something under the tree at Christmas time for my daughter. Guess my take on it is these old bitties make us look good.lol Happy New Year my friend.

Hi Nadine, I'm a grandmother and I really can't imagine forgetting any of my grandchildren. If I did, I would feel horrible...just horrible. If he was 14 then I would quickly go into another room and fix him a card and put money in it and tell him that I forgot to put it under the tree because it was so small. What 14 yr old doesn't love money? I guess that is the type of person she is and as you and your husband have gotten used to it, so will the kids. They will grow to know her as a person that you can't trust her word and that you can't count on.

I have the exact same probably with my MIL. The only difference is that she lives on one side of the country, and we live on the other. She is forever forgetting all the kids birthdays and Christmas. We are planning on going out to California this summer to visit them, but now none of the kids even want to go and see them. I really can't say that I blame them, as they are complete strangers to my children. I know distance is a big factor, but in this day and age of the internet, and email, there really is no excuse. My parents live down here in the same town as me, and they don't forget their grandchildren that live up in Chicago. They always send them cards on their birthdays and Christmas, and also Easter, Valentine's day and other holidays. They also will call them and just talk to them. There really is no excuse for my inlaws to not be in contact with their grandchildren. I really feel sorry for my kids as for all practical purposes they really only have one set of grandparents as the other ones are invisible.

I'm not sure how old she is, but this sounds like she might have some kind of dementia. Now, with my mother-in-law and father-in-law the thing that drives me crazy about them is that they clearly like my daughter a lot more than they like my son. I think that it is because of the fact that Kathryn is a girl and they always wanted a daughter and never had one. However, I really don't think that it would be asking them too much to treat both of their grandchildren (they only have my two children) the same way.

That is such a big no no in my book. What your son must have felt when all the other grandkids were opening up their gifts but there was none for him!! MIL should have checked that all the grandkids were accounted for - that's just common sense and courtesy - especially since all the family is there and that it's a special holiday - geez! And what's worse is she gave an empty promise ... if she said she was going to give him a gift later, she should keep her word. Your son probably already sees how his grandma is like . . . my kids are 5 and 1 - and the older one is already not trusting her grandma's words (you MIL sounds like my MIL). Very sad.

I think she did this on purpose or she's just sick or something. I hate it when the elders have favorites in the family since they make the young ones feel they are rejected and not wanted. I will never do that to my children by making them feel that I have a favorite amongst them since this will cause for the kids self-esteem to drop low. I don't understand the elders why they think this will not affect a child's perspective in life. I just hope that your son will not really mind it at all. He seems to be a nice kid since he didn't took on a tantrum.

No matter the grandmothers condition is the fourteen year old will simply not understand. Maybe some family members can remind her in the future and or accompany her to get an after Christmas gift. I would say that perhaps she ailing in a way where as she can't remember but you say she bought gifts for the other grand children, so it would be best for her to compensate the child at some point as truly the child, although well educated and well mannered deserves his gift.

It depends on how old she is. Maybe she has a memory problem. Maybe she's just flakey. Have you talked to her about it?

I have 10 grandchildren and I can honestly say that there has been time when I have left someones present at home. In fact, I have 2 here on my bookcase that belong to my 2 of my grandchildren from Christmas 2009! This is because there was a problem with the order and they were backordered and I had to get them something else, but still I have two here that when I see the grandkids, I FORGET about these gifts!!! This year our family celebrated Christmas early and I had 3 of my grandchildren that I did not have presents for, this is because for the other 7 I got them magazine subscriptions. I didn't want to give 3 a present and not the other 7 so I didn't do anything, we are also limited on funds and Christmas is about more then presents and we had a wonderful Christmas day with the family. I did later, before Christmas give the other 3 something that cost me the same as the magazine subscriptions. Have you ever talked you your MIL about this problem? You said in other response that she doesn't have demetria or anything, however medication and even some health conditions can cause memory problems, even to the 2 hour confirmation.

makes me wonder about what pathology she has

I think I can see why she has driven you crazy....I think she should be called upon to live up to what she says....It's inexcusable!

I stopped celebrating all those holiday years ago. Scripturaly they are all pegan. If any of my grandchildren ask me why they didnt get anything i will gladly explain to them the facts. My children already know the facts. They however were and are with people out of faith. My ex daughter in law always complained to me because my son didnt do anything for the holidays especially birthdays. I gladly explained to her that since he was 1 yr. we never partook in the holidays so why would he? Besides all that i believe from what you are saying that she does this all the time. Its not the same person all the time either. It may not be intentional. Maybe she has been having memory lapses.

ouch! I am sorry to hear about that,friend. But I think no need for you to think being crazy if she cannot do so...maybe there is reason or anything that matter regarding the gift...

Sounds like not much of a grandmother to me! I have two kids. A 10-year old and a 4-year old. I try to be aware when the older brother gets left out in attention and gifts, specially with their grandparents. I think he's a bit sensitive that way. Hope your son feel better.