Spending is a compulsion! An addiction!

First and most important advice: Cancel the cards. You might think "omg I can't do that D:" or something like that, but, if you need a card for easier transactions and whatnot, use a debit card instead, they have the exact same functionalities with the visa or mastercard or whatever logo, but the most major difference that'll make your world a whole lot easier is the fact that you CAN'T spend money you DON'T have. This is the BEST advice I could give you. Also, keep a piggybank or a locked chest or whatnot and everytime you receive your paycheck, after paying up all your bills put at LEAST 10% of the remaining in it, and keep it far away from your eyes, to never touch it unless you're in an emergency. At least that way you're guaranteed you won't go 100% broke, but when you're spending forget that you have that amount stashed away, think of the money you have in hand as all that's left and that's it. This should gradually reduce your spending ventures, it might be tough at the beginning but if you turn this into a habit you'll soon enough start thinking carefully before buying things I'm sure. I've been in your shoes and this was my solution.

I guess, you are in debt because of the credit cards. When you have the credit cards, you have the big purchasing power that you don't have with your salary. Hence, with this power you sometimes buy on impulse. Whatever takes your fancy, you buy it. When the statement arrives you will notice that the interest is huge in proportion to the principal you will be paying , if you pay Lite. But if you always pay all your purchases within the month it will not be a problem because it will not have an interest. However, with a salary that is not that big, you cannot pay in full a big amount spent thru credit card! Better yet, just maintain one credit card and buy only what you can pay in full when payday arrives. Or better still. .. cancel all your credit cards. I have been there . . . Live within your means and simplify your needs and wants.

I hide my wife's debt card. She has a bad habit of spending what we don't have also, especially over the holidays.

Yes it can be. You're definitely right in that it's all about moderation. I guess the way that I control my spending is by giving myself something else to do. If you're bored, you are more likely to want to go buy things. Maybe try to find a cheap hobby. I like to make bracelets. The supplies are cheap, especially depending on where I get them and so I can go buy a bunch of supplies for it and it takes care of my boredom and satisfies my shopping impulse without throwing me into debt.

I use to be this way, I not only enjoyed spending but also loved to have things. Now I just don't care. I have made a game to see how much I can save and this gives me a challenge each month. With a fixed income and increasing bills it becomes more and more difficult. At my age me needs are small and my wants even smaller. Age solved this problem for me.

First thing,, U look good...........NEXT..I do not save money,,but also I let my wife spend on whatever she wishes to spend ,If I had it my way we would have saved a lot of money,,,,,,,,but what is more important,,,,,,,,,,,WE need to know,,BUY what U ( I ) need,and never waste what U ( I ) buy,, u think this makes sense to u?

Controlling on spending is not an easy job to do, especially to those people who likes to spend on things they want. I used to like spending on something I like but not spending on something useless. After I got married I have completely changed to a person who don't like spending, thanks to my wife. I am not blaming on her but I should thank her because she thinks shopping is an addictive. I did not have an idea why my wife did not like to spend money to shop what she wants considering that women generally likes to shop. However it is very good to have a good wife like her who has self control. If you cannot afford it then don't spend it, if you cannot control your spending you will be in big trouble. Having a debt is not a pleasant thing to do. It will haunt you as long as you have not finished off paying them, especially when the interest gets added on top of your debt amount.

i think you are right. i find a lot of people feel that they derseve to live a way they cannot afford and are addicted to shopping. i know several people like this.

Dear friend, May in my case I do have bit of loans, but most times I do avoid those if I feel it would lead to any financial crisis in me. Moreover I feel it depends upon how well one hand the cash. But when ever I do have cash in my purse I do spend it till it ends.

Spending has never been a problem for me. I'm quite good at saving actually! I never buy useless things, and I don't buy a new cell phone every year. I do like spending money on clothes, though! But even in that area, I don't buy designer things or anything. :)

This is in your mind and its your mind telling you that you have to spend the money instead of saving. You yourself have to tell yourself that you dont need those clothes of shoes and to back off. Dont go out or even leave the house. Look in your closet before you leave and thing about how pakced it already is of stuff and think about not needing anything. I dont buy clothes for me or my boyfriend anymore as we have so much already and dont need anything at all. I told him this year we are not allowed to buy things we dont need except materalistic things like gas and food and pretty much that is it. No over spending on things. I did Christmas decoration shopping when things went on sale for next year and spend to much money but i know i got a good deal and wont have to do it next year but then again i ran out of money so i have to control myself but i did shop for food and other things as well when i shopped for christmas next year. I hope this helps you out and enjoy your day.

I will not be able to help you with 'not-spending', as I have that compulsion too. What struck me in your discussion was the line... ...feel like I deserve some nice things. But I have no sense of moderation... I feel this way too often. Although with bigger responsibilities now, I am a bit able to control myself. But I think when it comes to food, I still feel the same way. Like for example, I would feel that I deserve a cake because I did something great. Then I would buy a cake, and eat most of it. No sense of moderation! Way TMI?

I stopped all extra spendings!!! Recently when I analysed the spending nature, I got wondered. Most of the income is just spending for unwanted and unnecessary things. Now the time has changed and all things become so much costly and I realised to have money in our hands. For the last 8-10 months, I learned that we should keep money reserve with us as much possible. Terrible time is ahead. If we have enough money in our hand we can use it for a better really worthy use when it is needed. In fact I come to know why we should keep hard cash or bank reserves. Even I request you to do the same. Do not spend much. Only priorities and spend wisely and cut out all unwanted things and have a habit of saving money. Once you get more money in your account, it will be a passion for you to keep more and more on it. Make it as a challenge and do saving. It will definitely help you. Companies and marketers will come out with their techniques to get more customers. They want more customers and they will become rich and rich, poor customer will become poorer. So, if you think this is right, start now and if you really try, atleast 50% of extra spending can be converted into savings. Think, if ok, give a company for it. Once you got a good amount of money in your hand, you will feel proud of it, I am sure on it or we can do bet. Thank-s

Hello Maezee, what i do with the expenses, bills and extra money. First of all i got notebook where i know every month what is for paying. Every time something new comes, i write it there for the resent month, every time i pay something i put a line on it and try to reach the amount for the next bill. With me the problem is that i don't receive money once a month, i do it at least two times - in the middle of the month and something extra all the other time. It's really hard that way to follow my plan, because sometimes i loose the picture which is more important than something else, but i try to pay at least the most important bills. I don't allow myself to spend for things which are not important. I check the list all the time, because there are so many notes existing that i start to think positive in a way to pay the bills, but not to put another things in the list.

Maezee- I have to agree with the majority in canceling all your credit cards. Your debit card will work like a visa for those times you need it but you won't be spending any more than you have in your account. I would also recommend that you start a savings account. Many banks will set something up with your checking in where a set amount of monies are automatically transferred into your savings account once a month. You'll be less likely to touch it once it's transferred because it is out of sight and out of mind. In terms of moderation, well that's a tough one to over come and I'm not going to lie to you and say it's easy. It really is a daily practice that for the first year will be one of the most difficult tasks you will undertake. You will need to decide that you are not going to buy anything outside of your needs. I'm going to outline some helpful tips I've picked up over the years from various books on clearing your clutter, and so forth. Please do not feel I'm telling you "how" to do things or saying that there is only one way to do things. I'm just going to share based upon my own experiences and I had a period where I did nothing but blow my paychecks. The first thing that works well is that you begin to purge what you already have. Go through and get rid of anything that you have not used in the last 6 months. Chances are if you haven't used it with in the the last 6 months you are not going to use it. Get rid of anything you have more then one of in your closets and cupboards, save food, towels and so forth. For example, if you have more then one curling iron chances are you only use one of them anyway. Now, after you have purged the motto to stick with is that if you bring something new into the house you must get rid of something in the house. This way you are never accumulating more than you absolutely need. (You can either have a sale and see what you can make and then give to charity or simply donate all of it to charity at the start). The next thing to do is at least for the first six months of changing the habit is to not buy anything you don't absolutely need. By this I mean gas to get to work, food for your stomach, medications if you need them, and female products, along with basic cleaning supplies. For the first six months buy NOTHING else. This will force you to enjoy what you already have and as you've had a spending issue you more than likely have LOTS to enjoy. After this time period any time you want to purchase something ask yourself if you absolutely need it. Chances are most of the items we buy when in this spending process are impulse buys. If you really feel you "need" something do not buy it for the first twenty-four hours. This allows you to leave the store and think about if you really need the product or not. Again, I'm not talking about basic food items, I'm speaking about all the extras. Now, as mentioned this first six months can be very stressful because what is going to occur is withdrawal from shopping. You will find ways to justify buying extras. "I really need these shoes, they will go perfect with this outfit", and things such as that. It is no different then any other addiction. You will find ways to make excuses to buy things. The trick is to help retrain your mind to know you don't "need" anything outside the basics. Once you get through this initial stage things do become easier. After this stage, you'll find that you really don't have that "need" to buy everything you see. You'll find that a nice vase of flowers satisfies. Yes, it is nice to do things for us, but some of that includes saving our monies and doing things we really enjoy. You'll soon find you have savings for the trip you wanted to take, the spa day you wanted to spend, instead of always finding lint in your pocket book. Once you are into the second year you can begin setting goals for yourself such as "Day at the Spa", "New Dress", etc. Setting these goals and sticking with them will make you feel better in the long run. I hope this helps a little. It does get easier. Trust me. Namaste-Anora

i have the same problem myself. i am always online shopping knowing i shouldnt be spending the money that i have. but i think the reason i shop is cos i am feeling down and buying that new dress or boots makes me feel better when i have ordered something and when it gets here and i get to try it all on you just feel so good inside i know that sounds silly but i think that is why i shop. how do i control it? well i am not that good at it really but what i try to do is just stay away from the shops websites and come on places like this to keep me busy

You are not alone. I know quite a few people that are going through the same thing. I am even guilty of indulging myself with things I know I don't need. When I feel that I am tempted to spend money, I usually think about the bills that I need to pay. Then I ask myself if I really..really absolute need what I'm about to spend money on (most of the time the answer is no). you could put away money in a savings account, but sometimes you can be tempted to retrieve money from it. The most effective way is to set up one with a bank, or give your savings to somebody you can absolutely trust. If these tips don't work out for you, and you still feel its a problem you can always contact a professional who specializes in cases like these, maybe they can help. In truth, its going to be a difficult process, spending is a habit that is difficult to control, but with time and dedication I'm sure you will learn to control the impulse.