What do you do at home, as a stay-at-home mom?
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
United States
January 5, 2011 12:06am CST
Someone recently asked me what I do with my day, insinuating life is a piece of cake with my new path as a stay at home mom. I could of given them a list of what fills up my day, and how, generally, everyday I fall short of my goals, but instead, just ignored the comment. It did get me thinking on how many different scenerio's there are for a SAHM. I haven't been doing much outside of cleaning the house, taking care of and trying to enrich our child's life. I think this may even be the first time I have been back on mylot since sometime before giving birth. I know there are many women who blog often, take to their own interests and so on. My day is centered around my child, chores, the occasional glance at fb, (how I keep in contact with family) making dinner, and then spending time with the hubby when he comes home. My first child, I am not experienced with the super woman routine. I don't make time for myself, and in a way, I on't care to, as it seems like so much effort. I don't watch tv, or play online during the day. I have heard women complain that they are bored at home. It is not entertaining, but there is always something to be done. How do you fill up your day?
5 people like this
25 responses
@PDBME2 (1014)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I have been a SAHM for around 6 years now. We have 5 kids which keep me busy all day long. I used to be one of those career women who thought being at home was such an easy job but once I was home it exhausting. I get up to make breakfast, wash dishes, then start to wash clothes (everyday)! I clean up the house while the kids are around watching tv or playing games. I have to start lunch then clean all over again. I get on the computer to arrange to pay the bills. I have to go to the market to buy what we need. I joined the PTA at school, do volunteer work at the school, I joined Little League, and attend school meetings when they make meetings. We go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays. I iron clothes, run errands, etc. I get bored only because it's routine everyday. Today I applied online for several job positions that might fit into my schedule. I also attend school sometimes online or going to school. I just got my AA degree. There is homework to do with all my kids. I am happy to say that my house is always clean, fresh dinners always made, and my kids are always clean. If I go to the bathroom it's my break. Taking showers are always quick. Yeah not to mention having time for my husband.
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I couldn't imagine 5 kids. One seems like too much at times. I suppose some things are a little easier with more kids. They can entertain eachother a little and such. Though I am sure there is a lot more messes. I had not considered the homework aspect when they get older. It seems a lot harder to work at home with children. My husband and I worked soley at home for several years, but our position required total consentratiopn and silence in our home.
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I hope that is something they grow of. At least when they are older, they can help a little with some of the housework, and with eachother. :) I suppose there will always be a little of the sibblings annyoing eachother, my sibblings still do that to each other at times, and most of them are teenagers.
@PDBME2 (1014)
• United States
6 Jan 11
Yes, having five kids means there is really no peace and quiet. Before they used to entertain each other but now they are fighting with each other. I sometimes help people out with their taxes during this time and it's hard to focus on the numbers. I have to tell my husband to take them to another room but still I can hear them arguing. The messes are always there so that is easy but now it's the noise...lol
1 person likes this
@bookreadermom08 (5614)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I am a SAHM, and have been since the birth of my first son and he will be 8 this coming summer. I worked in the office field for 10 years before I became a mom, I worked outside the house with 3 jobs, 7 days a week... I now have 3 kids, and a house to take care of and I can say that being a full time stay at home mom is the hardest job I have ever done.
I have learned to make time for myself in only giving me some computer time and I work out when my youngest takes a nap... other than that I am constantly cleaning, making lunches/dinners, finding educational programs for my kids to watch and games to play with my kids. I have learned that summers are better than winter because then we aren't inside as much.....but I can only imagine that a full time housewife with no kids can find time to be bored... I have never had a day of bored since being a full time SAHM. instead, I find my days are crazy and very fulfilled....i just miss my paychecks!!which is why i try to find time online now.
happy mylotting!!
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
The missing paychecks are hard, but it is amazing to see how far children come, and the satisfaction from knowing that you are raising your children to the best of your ability. It is a hard job, and I always knew it, which I suppose is one of the many reasons we waited so long to have a child. I suppose what I never envisioned was the sort of isoloation you can feel. It has gotten a little better since he has started interacting, but for the first couple of months he mainly slept, we never left the house and no one was allowed over per the recommendation of our pediatrician. I don't really interact with others still, as I don't really know anyone in our area and trying to befriend other mom's has not worked out.
1 person likes this
@mayka123 (16605)
• India
5 Jan 11
SAHM is not an easy task. There will always be working pending for the next day. I too had been a SAHM for a few years when my kids were small. And believe me I would hardly get time to rest during the day. Staying at home is only a bed of roses if you are in a joint family and there is someone else to do the work for you. Or else if you have a servant to do all the work for you in the house. I had been happy while staying at home at that time. But now that the kids are grown I am happy to be working full time.
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I suppose I thought that maybe in my mind I was making it more tough then it was. Sometimes, I dream about a commune, where some of the work could be shared, some of the teaching and so on. Today my son is actually taking a nap alone for once, and more then a few minutes, and since I have a majority of my work done and still many hours in the day, I thought I could take some time and post, and get a few cents for it for the fam as well.
2 people like this
@FrugalMommy (1438)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I typically spend my day between taking care of my little one and various household tasks. My daughter usually wakes me up in the morning. Depending on how fussy she is I'll either get up and fix her a bottle or play "toss the toys" with her. A bit later I'll feed her breakfast, and then I'll leave her in her high chair so she can watch me while I do dishes. Sometimes we run errands, but she usually wants me to play with her after I finish with the dishes. Then I'll fix her lunch, feed her, and let her play on her own for a while so I can get laundry done. By that time she's usually down for a nap and I can sneak online for a bit. My husband helps out a bit when he's home, too.
I don't really get how anyone could be bored at home. It takes a bit of getting used to, especially if you're used to a routine that doesn't involve being home much, but there's so much that needs to be done there's really no time to be bored. If we weren't renting a place right now, I would have tons of little projects to keep me busy on top of everything else!
One thing I do wish is that I had a little more time to focus on my own projects right now. I really want to go back to school, but I have a hard time with online classes and hubby's schedule is so erratic that I couldn't really work classes around it right now. I make up for it by studying things on my own, but I really want a better degree.
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
Online classes seem like they would be hard to do with children, but at least they can be done around your schedule. Though studying would be a little hard.
I used to do a little self study with my little one by reading books and articles aloud to him. People would give me an odd look when they encoutered us; him glaring up at me as I read from an organic chemistry or my physics book. Now, he is not too content to be read to from those types of books. I am lucky if I can get out a paragraph in a week. Reading on my own is something untolerable as well, it seems.
I still can't beat the feeling at times, that I am making him miss out somehow when I am obsessing over the house. Since becoming mobile, he is not content to watch me clean, but would rather be interacted with.
At times, I lose the inspiration for my own projects and interests. I hope they return at some point.
1 person likes this
@EdnaReyes (2622)
• Philippines
5 Jan 11
After taking a long break from my job, I became a stay-at-home mom. I found it more interesting and fulfilling than my job and I did not regret giving up my work just to be a stay-at-home Mom. There's always something new things to learn, lots of surprises and now I understand why my own mom also had chosen to be with us, all children and husband than to be out of the house working. The rewards are great!
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
It is a lot better experience then my job, for sure. I am learning a lot, and there are many moments that are just priceless!
@afreen1234 (122)
• India
5 Jan 11
Hi,
SAHM are really relaxed!I take care of my kids as well my hubby well.prepare different types of dishes for them as per their taste,the rest of the time, I use net for making friends and earn extra income through some of the sites like this(i've recently joined here).This is really interesting life when compared to working moms who never get time spending with hubby and kids. Be proud that u r a SAHM!
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I am proud, though I think I would be a little more happy if my hubby was at home more. He works about 60 hours a week, sometimes more. I haven't got to the point of mastering it all yet, to have much time for internet or anything else. Today is a fluke and a test at the same time. When not cleaning and such, I am reading to my child, or doing flashcards/charts and such. It amazes me how little I accomplish in a day! Though I am happier to be at home then be working and paying someone else to look after my child.
1 person likes this
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
5 Jan 11
heehee, my day fills itself up. It seems like a never ending list of things to do. Just playing with my child, feeding him, keeping him clean and doing his laundry takes up half of my time. Getting anything actually done requires some ability to do two things at once.
@PurpleTeddyBear (6685)
• Canada
5 Jan 11
Ahhhh yes, a stay at home mum quickly and very efficiently masters the skills of multi-tasking!
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
It does fill up. I have learned to get the baby involved with some of the housework, although as of late, it is more difficult since he is getting older and requires more entertainment then "look at this white sock, now there is two..."
@shaggin (72021)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I think the women who say they are bored staying home all the time with their kids are the ones who dont do anything with them. How can you be bored playing games and reading to your child and spending time with them. Already today my son did a long book on his leappad together. We also took his one toy that has letters on each piece and I had him find all the letters from a-z and line them up. Hes 3. I dont get bored staying home. I dont have time to be bored. I'm always doing housework and playing with my kids. Right now I'm sat down here while my son watches a movie. I took a shower while he watched the beginning and now I have a little while to sit here and earn money on mylot.
@shaggin (72021)
• United States
6 Jan 11
My son was the best baby in the world he would just sit and watch while we did things my daughter and I. My daughter was 3 1/2 when he was born and I was schooling her at that point which is what I am now starting with my son now that he is about that age. What I used to do all the time when my daughter was little was play with her all day and then after she went to bed is when I would do all the housework. The laundry was pretty much an all day thing back then though because my husband was living with us and he created about double the amount of laundry that the kids and I have now by ourselves. I like my kids to be kept busy I dont like them sitting around staring at movies all day. My son is less into learning then my daughter was though he would rather play with his cars most the time.
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
8 Jan 11
I hope my next child is that calm. I often worry that I will not be able to continue on the same pace with my son if I have another.
For the most part, he does not get to watch the tv much, though in the last few weeks, I have been having him watch a Baby Einstein video and a "Your baby can read" video. Sometimes, I have a background video on that has nature images. We usually have Pandora going during the day, and he has his own stations on there, one seeded with Mozart, Beethoven, Bartok and jazz; one that has some of the music he has shown preference to other then classical, jazz and world music; and one with a variety of music from around the world.
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I have noticed there are some who leave a baby in a carrier or swing for a good part of the day. Or lock the kids in their room. I am not judging the parenting style, I guess I can see how you would have a lot of free time that way. It just isn't my style.
I hope that I will become better at managing my time. Sometimes I feel like My child is missing out as I obsess over housework and other projects that come along. I would love to be able to get it all done, have time to enrich my LO's life reading, studying and playing, and also have some time to workout and find some way to earn a little income here and there. I know, every Mom's wish. :)
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
8 Jan 11
Someone is always bound to ask us retirees what we do with our time. I don't have a baby to care for, but I do have an 82 year old husband. He's pretty good about taking care of himself, but, then, he wants to help me and even take care of anything that is causing me a problem, which causes me an even greater problem because he usually knows absolutely nothing about whatever it was that was causing a problem for me. I made him mad today. I was having a problem with my printer and was talking on the phone with tech support. My husband came in, crowded between the printer and me and proceed to push buttons and ask questions about what it was or was not doing. I asked him politely to get out of my way, as I was taking care of the matter. He left in a huff. Besides preparing meals and keeping the house clean, I make quilts, write, and am currently getting into genealogy. During warm weather, I take care of the flower beds and the vegetable garden.
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
I think that is too common of a stereotype as well. "Retirees have too much time on their hands" I have known many who have a more full schedule then the youth of today. Between gardening, (which everyone should be doing, we should take control of what we put into our bodies) studies, cooking, some even sew or other crafts, that are more like a job especially when on a time table... Then you throw in housework, tending to all the family who check in on you and have many favors to ask of you, keeping up with random appointments and so on.
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
6 Jan 11
Oh yes I had that question put to me...many years ago when I had my first child! how can one be bored! there was so much to do! my days were so busy...and then child number 2 and working from home! but some people thought I was having a great time! friends used to drop in for coffee and stay for a chat...but no one helped to wash up so at the end [ because I was working from home]I often did not go to bed until midnight. A stay home mum is not an idle person she often work more hours than a average person and more! and lets not forget those nights when the children have a cold or other ailments she stays up all night...and she is there early the next morning!
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
I would love to find a way to make some income at home. I am not the best at time management, or maybe it is that I just waited a long time to have a child. It seems difficult to get even half of what I needed to get done accomplished. I never knew it was this hard, or lonely even. I only see my family once every few months, when we drive to see them. I don't really have any friends. My husband works anywhere from 55 to 70 hours a week, and is often too tired to do anything when he comes home, so all the little tasks fall on me in addition to the housework and child rearing. I am amazed at all the women who do this, multiple times, and are so well put together. I have gotten used to the lack of sleep... but there are days when I bawl my eyes out.
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
15 Jan 11
I do understand how hard and lonely you must feel, maybe you should consider joining a play group with your little one there you will meet other mums who are in the same situation as you...you can exchange ideas and encourage each other...and may be get together in each others house sometimes. I know you may think but where do I find the time? just give it a try and you will find it's no so hard after all!
I used to bawl my eyes out sometimes too! please take it easy and enjoy your baby they grow up so quickly...and don't forget you are doing the best and most important job in the world...being a mum!
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
I know what you mean. And the kids are the warden. :) It is not like I did a lot before, I suppose it was that I had the chance to, if I so wanted. I don't drive, so the only time we get out of the house is when the hubby is home, now that it is winter. And then, it is only shopping, for the most part.
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
6 Jan 11
My mother-in-law is very guilty of assuming you are doing nothing when at home all day. When I was a stay at home mom I was busy. I did it for 10 years. Now I work from home, MIL thinks I am not working. "As long as you are home will you run me to my hair appointment?" My husband works from home most of the time. She laughs and says "so you have time off now?" Peoples ignorance will haunt you forever.
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
Am I sleep writing again? I suppose that was a little of what made me start this discussion. The insinuation that since you are at home, that you are doing nothing and need to find something "productive" to fill your day. Kudos to you for working at home as well! As well as having your husband at home too! I am not sure how you do it, anytime I approach the computer, my son throws a fit, comes over, demanding my full attention, even though he was just playing blissfully. The same happens when I try to work out, read or even talk to my husband on the phone. I am hoping that it is just a phase, since his whole life so far, he has always had my full attention, for the most part. I just recently started trying to do other things, like exercising, posting on here and reading a book to myself. I hope I can get my husband to work at home once again, although he will not until I can find something that is comparable to what he is earning now. Working at home is no time off, it is just nice to have my husband close, even if he is distracted for work.
@chiedenn (77)
• Philippines
12 Jan 11
SAHM is definitely NOT a piece of cake. Gosh. Im a SAHM myself and lemme tell ya, sometimes I want to scream and let it all out.. There are lots of things to do. And IT IS NEVER ENDING.. again. Gosh. :) I dont have help, so I am the only one taking care of my baby.. The pressure of disciplining him.. thinking of ways to entertain your kid. NOT EASY.
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
It is not easy at all, I just assumed I was making it a lot more difficult then it needed to be. I seem to do that at times. I am not sure of a remedy for the feeling of wanting to scream and such. I sometimes bawl up and cry, I feel a little better awile later, but not much of a remedy.
@chiedenn (77)
• Philippines
16 Jan 11
Thats true. There's no remedy. I guess, we just have to adjust our thinking.. if thats even possible. What I do is, I talk to my hubby. and let him know what I feel. We're open that way. Sometimes we just go out to a mall and eat.. i dont know but eating comforts me.. haha
@martrioska (1)
• Indonesia
5 Jan 11
first being a mom isnot an easy job, because you have to take care children, take care the house hold needs, do the house chores, and others, that's not a simple job. a mom certainly has a lot of profession beside being a mom, fir instance being a financial manager, educator, cook, and she needs a lot of energies to do all her duty. not all woman want to have a profession as " mom ". they prefer to be carrier lady, an employee of a company that's has clear "job description" and "work hours"so that they use the remaining time to have fun with others.but moms also can have earn money in the same time with out neglecting their obligation to their family,for example they can open a small store that sells daily needs such as soap, tooth paste, detergent and others in their own yard. their profit is also good. or run a small restaurant that provide simple dishes and beverages in front of their house. so by doing that, they still supervise and taking care their children in the same time with out have to go out from the house.moms can also socialise with their friends by joining monthly money scheme,or participate in religious program.
1 person likes this
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I couldn't imagine having a store in my yard. I doubt I would get many, if any customers, but I am sure that works for some, and it is an interesting idea. I suppose little things here and there can add up to assist in the household income. I hope I will find something someday.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
19 Jan 11
Till a year and a half back, I was working as a kindergarten teacher. Despite having a help who would come daily to clean the place, cooking and my two kids (aged almost 3 and 9 a the time) and other little household chores kept me so busy that I was too stressed out and decided to take a break. Around the same time, we decided to homeschool our older son...so I have no time to myself but now that the kids are older, I do take a bit of time to do my reading and stuff.
My day starts early. We now have a cook too..but I cook a typical south Indian breakfast everyday except two days in a week when my husband needs to go to work early and he prefers oats porridge for breakfast. Before the kids are up, I plan what I need to do in academics that day after working around the older son's music classes. Once the kids are up, I spend the first half of the day with my younger son. This is the time when my older son does unsupervised work on his own and practices his music. After lunch and putting my little one for a nap, I spend time with my older son(on the days he does not have his music class) with his academic work.Evenings, I prepare a little snack for them and the kids go downstairs to play. I usually spend this time in getting my pooja stuff ready for evening prayers. The rest of the evening we either play board games, spend time with hubby when he comes home early...grocery shopping when necessary. Before bedtime, I read a bit.
@lyneiba (3)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I have been a SAHM for over 3 years. I had my little one in daycare for about 18 month because I was doing upgrades and repairs on the house we had just bought. I love being at home with my daughter, she always finds something interesting to do or I teach her something new. There is no being bored when you are a SAHM. People complaining about being bored as SAHM either have kids that are out of the house most of the day or have other people do their chores.
Currently I'm sad to admit that I have to go back to work and put my little one in full time daycare. I wish my husband wouldn't have had to switch jobs and take a pay cut. I will miss the fun, smiles and the imagination that keeps my day colorful right now. Never a dull moment as SAHM, what other job can offer that?!
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
14 Jan 11
I think I might be heartbroken as well if I had to take my son to childcare. As much as he frustrates me at times, he is a curious, funny, amazing person. He has yet to be babysat. I don't think there is really a chance to actually be bored, except with maybe the routine. Can't compare with any job though! :)
@UtopianIdealist (1604)
• United States
6 Jan 11
I have tried to do a little writting here and there, though it has not went anywhere, so far.
@Suzieqmom (2755)
• United States
6 Jan 11
Through no choice of my own, I went from being a super-charged career woman with a family to take care of, to a SAHM. Let me tell you, being at home is MUCH harder than going to work, and anyone who says differently is wrong or lying. When you are working 12-15 hours a day, no one cares if your house is messy, or if you are serving eggs for dinner. As a SAHM, these things are supposed to be done (and it's not my spouse who criticizes me for this, either). The more time at home, taking care of everything at home, the less time you actually have for ANYTHING.
But, part of the reason for that is because I now have far more time to spend with my children, spouse, and friends, and this is very important. Being home when my kids come home from school is far more valuable to me than any paycheck, and now that I have time to have coffee with friends, I do it. I NEVER watch TV, or just waste time, although I do indulge some hobbies--reading, scrapbooking, exercising. And I do volunteer work, at the church, at school, for cub scouts, or whatever.
I have also started writing on-line and hope to become a freelance write or even an author. That is always challenging for me. I encourage any stay-at-home person (parent or otherwise) to find an interest related to their former job or other aspect of their life, and incorporate it into their time at home--and you would be amazed at how fast the time flies!
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
6 Jan 11
Being a stay at home mom is not an easy task,infact,I can compare myself to those who are working on field since what I do is a tough job too.
I have 2 kids,my hubby works abroad so I play the role of a mom and a father as well. I have a 3year old baby so it's really hard to do things at home in a day. I really need a helper to do all the multitasks at home. Good thing my niece lives with us so she does the laundry.
I clean the house,take care of my kids,teach them,feed them and I do online works for an extra living. But despite all of these,I'm still a happy stay at home mom 'cause when my kids embraces me and kissess me,all of these are just easy!
@yellow_starrie (8)
• Belgium
6 Jan 11
Being a mom is a fulltime job. I don't know how working moms manage it. I have 3 sons and my days are always way too short! My day starts with sending everybody to school / work. Then I usually drink a latte and plan my day. I have a weekly schedule, so planning my day is very easy to do. I take a break at noon to read my mails and watch the news on tv.