Do you come across selfish/selfless people?

hi Dpk....first of al let me wish you a HAPPY AND PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2011... And coming to your discussion,yes I quite agree with you and I feel that today more and more people are getting selfish and self centered and selfless people are becoming "rare/extinct" species these days.Its understandable that some people are selfish by nature.But today I feel the fast pace of life is making the majority of people busy and focused in beating time and in their eagernes/desperation to achieve things within the given time limit,they hardly find time to help fellow beings,and feel frustrated and jealous when other people achieve something which they could not.... Its not often that we come across selfless people who are willing to help you without any ulterior motive,and I fortunately have a few friends who belong to this prestigious category......Ans life is a good teacher,and its easy to identify the two category of people if you are alert and is receptive to learning from each of your experiences in life....

Hi dear, Your topic has too much relevance in these days. I used to always think of such nature of people around us. Whenever I get time, like while travelling in the train for 2-3 hrs., being alone, while walking, etc. I always get disturbed with these kind of issues. I can find so many examples directly and indirectly. As you said, from family, work place, friend circle – everywhere, this selfishness become one of the curse to the humanity. All are attached to wealth and property. 2 hrs. before also I just had a discussion with the similar topic. No wonder, why people become so selfish. The population around us and the competition among us pave the way for it. For the same thing, there are so many people are in demand. So, all want to get the same with whatever reasons. Possessiveness and lack of knowledge is another reason. In fact, people are not ready to think or ready to accept other’s view or not even show the respect to what others has to say or to do. All goes with ‘my’, ‘mine’. If this is the way our world moves, what could be the result after 100 years. All will die here just for a silly thing, to keep for their possession. Thank-s

I have seen both selfish and selfless people in my life time. But there is one more category amongst people who are partially this side and partially that side. These people will also accept things, services help etc. from others; at the same time, they do offer benefits from their side too. When I take any help, material from others, I always wait for a chance to reciprocate the same to them if not in the correct coins but little more or less. This will give me satisfaction that I too have contributed from my side. But there are some selfish people, selfish to the core, who go on accepting things from others, even expect things from others but never ever think that there is a word called 'giving'. I just doubt whether they do not have any conscience which will alert them that their hand should sometimes turn downwards. What to do? Helping people will not help anticipating something from the other. They get satisfaction in giving. If the other type feels happy in only getting things, let them have it. That is their nature. They are incorrigible.

I am mesmerized by the teachings of Buddha though I am not a follower. One is Humility is the wise man's measure for knowing the difference between what is and what is yet to be. In order to have peace and harmony, we have to learn to respect others and adjust ourselves with them to co-exist. We have to also to learn to forget and forgive some lapses and shortcomings of others in the spirit of friendliness or brotherhood. In this life that I went through I seen many good people and no less selfish, opportunist people. I have to accept that this world is a mixture of good and bad, victory and defeat and therefore we should practice give and take.

Hello deepak, I have come across both types of people. I have born and brought up in village and selfless people are more seen in village. They are ready to help each other when others need a help. But in cities people are more selfish, may be they don’t have time for others because they don’t have time for their own works. I think, ‘Selfishness’ exists in each and every individual but the volume may vary in each individual. A person who hundred percent selfless is equal to ‘GOD’ and hundred percent selfish person can’t live in a society.

Hi deepak.. I dont think we can find any selfless people in todays world.. its really hard to find any such people.. Every one are selfish in one or the other way.. The only selfless person I saw (I dont know who he is and dont even remember his face) was some 7-8 years back.. Me and my father had a deadly car accident that time and an unknown person came to our help and admitted us in the hospital that time my father was unconcious and I was injured badly and was able to do nothing.. That person took us to hospital along with our personal things which are valuable.. Usually people take advantage of victims and take away money and gold when they are not concious but this person given all our belongings to my mother when she came to hospital to see us after we are admitted.. My father was carrying nearly 50000 cash in his pockets and purse.. I was wearing little gold.. Nothing was missed even my father's 5 rs pen.. So I think he was the real selfless person helped us when we are in need and others just seeing us as victims..

I don't associate with selfish people . I think Most are self centered but there is a difference.My family are nice people and so are my co workers and my boss . But there is one truly selfless person in my life. It is my guy. He Wants to help others and goes out of his way to try to make Everyone feel good. And I am the lucky one. He Loves me! So he puts me first!

I think this question can be a bit of a paradox really. When you think of the man/woman who gives a lot to charity, you may ask yourself, what is their motivation for giving so much to charity? Would they still give to charity it it caused them a lot of pain? Do they give to charity because it makes them feel good? Because they want to improve their soul? It can go very deeply, and I feel that the bottom line is that they are giving, and that's all there is to it. Is it impossible to be entirely selfless? Are we all selfish really? If we do unto others as we would do unto ourselves, then there is self and other of equal importance, and here I believe, lies the secret. Self and other is the same, and that is what the great spiritual teachers have always taught.. _Derek

hi dpk no not really as here in this retirement center I see examples of people who have a lot of physical problems themselves help others who are having a little problem. my tablemate Sandra did that for me today as I was having an attack of shortness of breathe and had three heavy bags of suff I had bought at K mart she was going to use her walker to help me get my stuff to my room. half way there she got a cramp in her back and had to sit down in the walker. now there were three residents all male and one of them pushed her halfway to my room then the other one helped her the rest of the way. I had her and two others who were guys all helping me in a sense because I was having some physical problems too. None of these people are selfish,not a one.Maybe its because we all are retired from the damnable ratrace, and are now trying to just be good people.I have truly seen one man here Jesse help others and even give them stamps and when I tried to pay him for the stamps he was irritated. God Love him He said I do not take money. I said I am sorry and thanks so much. now I can mail these two letters., when I passed out at lunch from low blood sugar he was the one who brought me a soda that was not sugar free and a few sips and the world started to come back where it belonged.its really scary to a diabetic when he or she goes low as it makes you dizzy and can actually knock you out and at times kill you. now I keep hard candy on hand for emergencies.

Hi deepak, long time ....Wish you and your family a Happy New Year Deepak, I have come across utter selfishness where it was totally unexpected and selflessness again where not expected. I have seen that those who hardly have any money are ready to share whatever they have without a second thought, whereas those who have would never do it! I had a colleague while I was working for a publishing house, who would perpetually offer me lift , so that I could close a deal for him.He would disappear after that and go after someone else, again come back and be after me to again close another deal for books etc; I did help him out because I knew that he needed the money. But what was disheartening was that he never reciprocated even when it was possible and never came in the way of his earning! Another contrasting example was a relative who is lower middle class, but never fails to make me feel at home and offer me a meal even when I casually visit her. I visit her often , sharing pot luck meals with her because of her very nature which is so endearing...She is ready to help out even if means going out of her way ! As I said earlier there are some people who really make this life worthwhile !

hi, dear Deepak. Selfish ans selfless, huh. I can be both and I am dealing with both selfless and selfish people.. So, needless to say that these two do exist in my life and probably in everyone's life ,too, including yours.:) When we say selfless, for me, it is giving yourself to someone or something (like of a cause) without expecting something in return, others even remain anonymous. And who are those selfless people? Parents, good parents to be precise. Doing their best for their children in order to give the latter a better future, breaking their backs and even skimping just to give their children what they need. Living for having less to nothing so that they children can have everything. Some few good samaritans. Just recently, I read in Reader's Digest Magazine, that a vegetable vendor is giving what she's earning from her store to a cause she has been supporting for years. She isn't rich but she is doing it with love. She did not even wish to be recognized. For the selfish ones, I have enough of this already.People who only cares for themselves and their interests and vow to get it at all cost even if it means hurting other people along the way. Didn't I share enough of this issue here, dear? As for me being both. I am selfless because I am too stubborn to think of my own happiness for the sake of the ones I love despite of the fact that I'll be at the losing end. I am also selfish because when I need someone, I tend to not think of the consequence as long as i'm getting what I want. I did that once to a friend. He was a very good one that even if he wanted to go I pleaded him not to because it hurts me to think of losing his friendship. He stayed but he became miserable because he knew that I can never be his...

there are lots of different kinds of people we meet everyday but its up to use how to deal with them. i think its just a balance of nature.

Hai Babyface - Happy New Year... I become selfish when I see your post...

I have come across till now a lot of selfish ppl. And many of them I have encountered in my office...and regularly encountering. They never bother to help others. Just finish their work and end of day go to home. Lot of time, We had fight in meetings for this kind of behaviour. And you bet...this ppl never ever participate in cultural programs. Because they think its a waste of time. Just used to watch others doing the things and gossip.. Its very hard to work with such ppl.

dpk it's been some time I'm glad to see your thread here I have to say I met more selfish people than the selfless ones this goes in any area of life, workplace, friendship, online, you name it! if I put it in ratio it would be 2 selfless in 10 people is a close one these selfless people are putting selfish faces so to speak but when we are alone, they show me their true nature this is done because most people do not stand up against selfish people and so selfish people get to bully more and more people every day the selfless people have to wear masks in order to be safe otherwise they can not save anyone else either how I deal with it, well I ignored or left selfish people it took me many years to realize that if I 'wear masks' like selfless people do I can actually take advantage of selfish people little by little kind of getting even, but slowly and unknowingly but as much as I tried to, I just can't do it I guess I am not one that can 'bend but not break'

Heyya deepak! How in the world have you been? I think that there are more selfishness than not in the world today, but there are still good people that are willing to do things for others without hidden agendas. They are just a bit hard to find. I think that sometimes people believe it is the only way to make something out of themselves but the truth is, it can hurt them more in the longrun. I like to think if I were to describe myself..both words would be a little extreme. I work for the money to take care of me and my family, but my motives when dealing with people within the company never come with hidden agendas. I am very open and people always know where they stand with me. I feel like that being in management is only a title. I am really only as good as my team and they deserve to be treated equally and with the same amount of respect and dignity that I expect for myself. I really don't try to determine the two. I feel like if I am true to them all and true to myself then it is not my concern as to if they are selfish or not. It is within them to decide who they will be but if their actions affect the team..I address it.

Every human being is bound to have a bundle of motivations. But most of us are myopic about it. We can't see beyond what's immediate. We work at our near future and slowly loose all our foresight. Merely having a strong motivation doesn't make you selfish. You also need to be myopic in order to be called a truly selfish person. There are only a few who can be called entirely altruistic. The word 'altruistic' is an ideology in itself. It's a theory that seldom has a realization. Even if you are not altruistic that's okay. We all help each other with underlying motives, which is perfectly normal. But a truly wise and well-informed person is also expected to be sensitive to his surroundings. He is expected to be aware of his social position. He doesn't live for himself or his family. But he also has a higher aim, or, a higher motivation. So he helps others almost spontaneously. He helps because the kindness he feels inside is too strong to suppress.

Hello Deepak. Long time no see. Yip, seen them and know them. Strange when people were ordinary they change when they have a better life. I despise selfish people. You have to think of all around you, not just about yourself. I ignore people who are selfish by nature and those who become selfish get the deaf ear from me as well. TATA.

in my experience at home, there are two kinds of people in general. selfless and selfish and i think my dad is perfect example of a selfish person. he doesnt like to spend on his family he keeps his money all to himself. he doesnt like the idea of helping other people hes got a crab mentality. on the otherhand, my mom is like a living saint. she is an example of selfless person. shes generous and considerate to everyone. she is religious and has strong belief in God. I think there are still some good people left but most people nowadays always take advantage and have evil motives and personal interests. Some are pretentious and likes using other people.

yes.. a lot actually.. these selfish people with an ulterior motive for their own gain would actually use people and yes.. i have encountered lots of these people but not all people are selfish.. there are also selfless people who would help you without asking anything in return.. i have met a couple of selfless people.. it is unbelievable but yes they are existing.. and i really adore and appreciate selfless people because these people are people with pure hearts to really reach out and help.. well for the selfish people.. we can never avoid them in this lifetime.. maybe