A big Mistake ..

You sound like you are being awfully hard on yourself. Good grades are important, but not so important that you should hate yourself if you fail at being the top student. Just my advice. I hope you are ok.

That's okay. You have done enough. The achievement is probably something not for you. I think something bigger awaits you in some point of your life. Remember, it's not on the awards you receive that makes you a greater person. It is how you apply knowledge in life, how you share it and how you learn from all your mistakes. You can always make it up. But don't push it,coz you are just stressing yourself out. Pressure makes some people really go crazy. Enjoy studying and learn.

It's not the effort that you put into yourself that wasn't enough, maybe somebody else deserves it since that person might be needing it more than you do. There are just things in life that no matter how hard we tried to get can never be ours. It's not because you are less intelligent but maybe that person needs it in his life more than you do. Life works in mysterious ways and if you don't pressure yourself too hard then maybe it will come to you. Or maybe you are not just putting the right ingredient at all. Don't feel so bad, instead count the blessings that you have. Count your achievements in other things and you will see that life would be much better.

I remember myself wishing that I could top the class but it was never easy. I was able to reach a respectable grade and that is all. I think you should keep trying and never give up. It will help you to get the good grades at least. Why do you think that you have done a mistake? If you really find something mistaken then remove it and try with another good efforts and I think you will be succeed. I wish you goof luck.