It's going to be my Birthday but i don't feel like celebrating it.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
Philippines
January 8, 2011 5:39am CST
Just hope am not violating anything...but to hell with it, am not acting role model today.
I never thought that am going to be 27th, specially in this state of depressing life I had.
Just a bit story for today
.
Just this morning I got a call from my Brother asking me for help because they need to fix and rewire the entire sound system in the Chapel in their subdivision. this is the second time I've helped him there because the first time we just made the sounds clear. but now he bought a new amplifier and some wires to change it all. things went well, but he couldn't last long since he need to have his kids attend to a party using his car. I got a huge headache after wards. probably I haven't got used to DOING SOMETHING for a while but i did good helping him out.
* Not sure whether any one can actually respond to my discussion. I feel nowhere in my life, Don't know where to go and Doesn't have a Clue where to End up with. it's been three years of feeling lost already. If I try to find a job now i would risk my mom being all alone in the house, making me worried if something bad happens to her.
the things that i wanted in my life since I was a kid like a Room, Bed, Computer, my own cabinet, exercise machine and pets have it already. but Why? do I need to excel to something i want next. I think that's unfair, i should be inspire because of what i have now but am not..my heart tells most of the time that am lonely, either I get a life (have party here and there) or get a girlfriend (a headache)
wish i could turn things around this year. I feel on the side of the Looser's coin that it's too heavy for me to turn it. couldn't help it though but when ever i see my batchmates and some people who have kids, married or just a simple relationship, I feel left behind, I am Stuck Basically.
I wanted also to treat my friends (mylot friends that is) but i don't have the money. HELL! i couldn't even have my tooth fix.
Maybe it's the reason why I lost my mylot addiction. a part of me is clinging to something..anyways, i could change my head tomorrow. the feeling of incomplete is at it again.
Hope some one could cook that Pasta laying around in the Freezer Tomorrow.
(01/08/11)
.
Just this morning I got a call from my Brother asking me for help because they need to fix and rewire the entire sound system in the Chapel in their subdivision. this is the second time I've helped him there because the first time we just made the sounds clear. but now he bought a new amplifier and some wires to change it all. things went well, but he couldn't last long since he need to have his kids attend to a party using his car. I got a huge headache after wards. probably I haven't got used to DOING SOMETHING for a while but i did good helping him out.
* Not sure whether any one can actually respond to my discussion. I feel nowhere in my life, Don't know where to go and Doesn't have a Clue where to End up with. it's been three years of feeling lost already. If I try to find a job now i would risk my mom being all alone in the house, making me worried if something bad happens to her.
the things that i wanted in my life since I was a kid like a Room, Bed, Computer, my own cabinet, exercise machine and pets have it already. but Why? do I need to excel to something i want next. I think that's unfair, i should be inspire because of what i have now but am not..my heart tells most of the time that am lonely, either I get a life (have party here and there) or get a girlfriend (a headache)
wish i could turn things around this year. I feel on the side of the Looser's coin that it's too heavy for me to turn it. couldn't help it though but when ever i see my batchmates and some people who have kids, married or just a simple relationship, I feel left behind, I am Stuck Basically.
I wanted also to treat my friends (mylot friends that is) but i don't have the money. HELL! i couldn't even have my tooth fix.
Maybe it's the reason why I lost my mylot addiction. a part of me is clinging to something..anyways, i could change my head tomorrow. the feeling of incomplete is at it again.
Hope some one could cook that Pasta laying around in the Freezer Tomorrow.
(01/08/11)2 people like this
9 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
8 Jan 11
Letran sweetie this sounds to me like something is missing. I do know this feeling well and sense that you are depressed. Please take some time for you and not worry so much.
I would put forth some advice but honestly I would not be a great example, as it sounds to me that you and I have some similarities here. We do all we can to help others simply out of love, we do what we are suppose to do as it is expected. But deep inside there is something missing and we ourselves cannot figure out exactly what it is.
Please do like me that for the first time in my life I started this year, simply saying to myself each day I wake up that today I will do my best and each time something negative crosses your mind say to yourself I am not going to let it. Remind yourself sweetie everyday that you are doing the best you can.
I understand Letran there are some feelings inside that are truly unexplainable.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Hardworkinggurl,
Well, I do my best being positive all the time despite of the feeling of something that is incomplete. The fact is I know that what ever we want in life doesn't make us happy for long so I tend to look on other factors that makes me happy even though I didn't want it. That way, it allows me to participate something small in life, I could get content with that first. Thank you so much hardworkinggurl for the advice.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
8 Jan 11
Sometimes these feelings are stronger to overcome, only one can dig deep inside and truly heal. It is really unexplainable and the only thing one can do is try really hard to be positive against all odds.
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
8 Jan 11
Hi sweetie.
Okay then.
2 things.
Either you take a long break.
And i mean it.
Or you get a girlfriend.
Don't tell me it's hard as it isn't.
I am sure there are girls there that really like you.
Give it a try sweetie.
That might make the difference.
TATA.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Spahie,
That's because I haven't made that much effort since financial thing is needed to at least achieve having a set of friends again. I chose to take a bit of a break from lotting even though I might eventually have trouble catching up to the postings again. But thank you for you're compliment, probably I should think of that some day. Have a nice day.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
8 Jan 11
hello LK,
You are not getting younger and what you are thinking is just normal sign of maturity.
There is nothing wrong with you...you just feel that,you need to be responsible.(more)
When people reach certain age,they feel something is missing (missing link)
That leads to searching,troubled thinking (what's missing?)
Taking from my own experience.
Am i too old to start with the kind of job that i choose?
I never think of it...it gives me the challenge (you know what i mean dear brother)
When you want something,focused on it.
You need to be focused ,look at one direction.
Do things one at a time.
Be specific with what you want you want to achieve first...i assure you,you will feel more secured once you've done one of your goals.
Do things step by step...small steps is better than a big leap without direction.
Keep up the faith dear bro...you are not alone
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HAPPY BIRTHDAY@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
hello brother,
Nothing is too late,if you start now
Good to know that you are taking steps....you still have a long way to go
Good to know that you are taking steps....you still have a long way to go@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Sis Jaiho,
Thank you so much for the encouragement, probably I feel this way because I still have no career in mind.Yes, I have been doing something in mind and so far so good . As for the getting a job I think I can focus n that some day but I got other important things to focus on lately. I guess I lost path because I didn't know what I want anymore when I was on the process of applying still.thank you, now I have started attending mass again. Have a nice day.1 person likes this
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
9 Jan 11
The older we get the more birthdays seem to affect us in a negative way. when we are younger we look forward to our birthdays more than anything else. With age, birthdays lose a lot of their luster. take heart. Your birthday is your own celebration of your life.1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Sender
It depends on the person, perharps I should have been glad still because there was food, visitors and other people who visited me. As for the age, I think it's something not young anymore, most of the time I close my eyes because of it.but I guess, it's a thing I need to realize once in my life.have a nice day.
Sender
It depends on the person, perharps I should have been glad still because there was food, visitors and other people who visited me. As for the age, I think it's something not young anymore, most of the time I close my eyes because of it.but I guess, it's a thing I need to realize once in my life.have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
8 Jan 11
Hi LetranKnight,
That reminds me of
[i]"Getting and spending, we lay waste our powers;
Little we see in Nature that is ours;
We have given our hearts away, a sordid boon![/i]"
[Source:William Wordsworth: The World Is Too Much with Us]
I must admit you need a break and a vacation.
I have been through that and I know how bad it feels... And to be honest there is n escape... The only way that is going to help is - a change and a refreshed start.
1 person likes this
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello the sids,
Well, so far I have been doing things mostly in the morning. Then, mylot ONLY when I feel free to do so. Change is something i've been doing for the last few days starting with planning on simple things and so far it has worked. Probably I will get to the usual thing better in future goals.thank you for response. Have a great day.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
Hi LK,
How i wish you are just a blocks away from me so i can share the carbonara i cooked today 
, you can treat us in due time and it doesn't matter if you treat us or not just be there, having a girlfriend is a headache?i guess you should look someone who is so SWEET 
.
I also feel that feelings during my birthday i am just being thankful for everything, if you don't have a job well you are just being a good son to your mom that you can't leave her behind.
Job, relationship and everything that makes you incomplete will come soon in right time.
happy posting
, you can treat us in due time and it doesn't matter if you treat us or not just be there, having a girlfriend is a headache?i guess you should look someone who is so SWEET .
I also feel that feelings during my birthday i am just being thankful for everything, if you don't have a job well you are just being a good son to your mom that you can't leave her behind.
Job, relationship and everything that makes you incomplete will come soon in right time.
happy posting
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Catch,
thank you for the support. Yes, that's probably one of the important at best is that I had always been a good son despite of such sacrifice. Well, as for the sweet, I think that is hard to find, but I need not only sweet but an understanding person. You're right, I hope it does since am not expecting anything. Have a great day friend.
,
thank you for the support. Yes, that's probably one of the important at best is that I had always been a good son despite of such sacrifice. Well, as for the sweet, I think that is hard to find, but I need not only sweet but an understanding person. You're right, I hope it does since am not expecting anything. Have a great day friend.
if you had change your head, i will leave you a response
@Graceekwenx (3160)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
Hmm... I smell frustration here but please dont let this get in the way. There really are times that we feel grumpy and wished that there was something much more productive that we can do.
My dear.. I would strongly suggest that you get a job. Though you do have concerns of your mom in mind, i do have some questions for that. Is she sick? If she is in a healthy state, then i dont see anything stopping you from work. I am not a materialistic person but having a liquid and moving bank account can surely add some self-esteem to you.
How about joining in socio-civic groups? It would change you one way or another. Or you can join church groups, give it a try. You deserve a chance.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Crace,
Thank you for the encouragement.Yes, she is sick even though she can go out and leave, my concern is she experience an attack if am not around.you're right and it could also inspire me to save enough to put up a commercial space for rent instead while I handle other house maintenances.
Crace,
Thank you for the encouragement.Yes, she is sick even though she can go out and leave, my concern is she experience an attack if am not around.you're right and it could also inspire me to save enough to put up a commercial space for rent instead while I handle other house maintenances.
@jonnie7 (51)
• United States
9 Jan 11
Don't be sad your family loves you that's how i feel to nobody does something for
me all i do is do something for them.I feel a little sad because they don't say
thank you or think you probably feel like that to but what keeps me up is that i know they love me.And you never know they might even though you a birthday party
good luck.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
11 Jan 11
Hello Jonnie,
Thank you maybe I shouldn't have complained but I just to let it out so that I can feel the contentment. You're right, I guess the most important is that the love and care for me no matter what state am in right now. Am sure if I was in another family, I would be hated and disgraced at. Have a nice day.
Jonnie,
Thank you maybe I shouldn't have complained but I just to let it out so that I can feel the contentment. You're right, I guess the most important is that the love and care for me no matter what state am in right now. Am sure if I was in another family, I would be hated and disgraced at. Have a nice day.
