Church or civil wedding?

@EdnaReyes (2622)
Philippines
January 8, 2011 9:34am CST
A young couple approach me some weeks ago asking for some advice. They're planning to get married and can't decide whether to have a church or just plain civil rites. The girl wants the church wedding and the boy is reluctant and wanting to save the money for as a start up for the family. Church or civil, what do you think.
4 people like this
17 responses
15 Jan 11
If they have a financial issue and just want to save the money for their future then they could just have the civil rites in a unique way, like having it on a beach wedding or a garden wedding. Inviting a judge to stand as their priest.
1 person likes this
@pogi253 (1596)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
It depends on the couple. It's not exactly a question of which is better. It's more about what the couple prefers and values, as well as what society expects.
1 person likes this
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
i understand the guy's part, these days one has to be practical, even in weddings. I think it would be okay to have a civil wedding at first, then after they have saved enough money for their family and have good jobs, then they should save up for their church wedding..
@lady1993 (27224)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
I think that they should do a civil wedding first..there is always time for a church wedding. Couples should prioritize their family first- the future. It doesn't really matter where it'll be held, as long as their loved ones attend it.
1 person likes this
@marcmm (1804)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 11
If the financialy they afford, why not having Chuch Wedding. Civil wedding just didn't have the atmosphere of a wedding. Having the Church Wedding will make the event more enjoyable and it is an event of a lifetime and a moment to cherish for a lifetime. Make it grand if possible. Money can always be sort out later on. Everyday we earn money but not everyday we married. Go for the church.
@Galena (9110)
9 Jan 11
why do you think a civil wedding doesn't have an atmosphere, or isn't grand. it can be just as grand. maybe grander. my civil wedding took place beside a subterranean lake, lit up with hundreds of candles. everyone that came said that our whole day was completely MAGICAL. that was the word that came up time and time again in all the letters and phone calls. yes, some Civil weddings are very simple, but they have just as much a wedding atmosphere. the wedding atmosphere comes from watching two people in love making vows, and the look in their eyes. and they can be as grand or as simple as you make them.
@Galena (9110)
9 Jan 11
then campaign for change. why should a big wedding just be for Christians?
@marcmm (1804)
• Malaysia
9 Jan 11
It good for you for having a grand civil wedding. But you have to make a consideration we come from 2 or 3 different world. I know in western country they have this civil wedding made at the garden, seaside, park, lake or anywhere they want just like we saw in TV. But I don't come from UK like you and so do Edna Reyes which come from Philipines. Our country eventhough both from Asia might have different type of civil wedding. Like in Malaysia, civil wedding are made at the Registra Of Wedding Offince. I've seen the office and tehy only allow the bride and bridegroom and their witness inside the office which not up to 10 person. Than how can it be grand. The reception can be grand but not the ceremony. A lot of people after having the wedding ceremony at the office always opted for a small dinner with their family only because the want to save the budget.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
Hi Edna, Most of the women are dreams for church wedding, which for me is not a problem at all. Since mine is civil wedding only, I'm not pushing by my wife to do that. Because since the beginning I explained to her about church and civil wedding, the advantages, the comparison and cost. We reached to the point that both of us agreed to civil and live happily ever after. see you around
• United States
9 Jan 11
Marriage is a partnership these days but the Wedding is all about the bride's vision. The guy is being practical but it is her day. the one day that is all about her before it is all about everyone else but her. Maybe they can have a smaller wedding but if she Wants a church wedding , Better have that wedding and start out with a happy bride than start out with a bitter one.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
9 Jan 11
a church wedding is nice because it gives you a lot of memories but it is very expensive. a civil wedding is definitely cheaper! you can save money and put towards a house.
@Galena (9110)
9 Jan 11
I have lots of wonderful memories of my non church wedding, and so do my guests. not all civil weddings are cheap or simple.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
I could understand that every girl dreamed of a church wedding. Wearing a wedding gown,and be the center of attraction for a day. I also understand the guy,he is right in every aspect. He needs to explained his reason to his gf,he can asks some family members/friends to convinced his gf about civil wedding. He can also explain to his gf that...they can have the church wedding on their 5th anniversary ...or on their 10th,15th or 50th . It's just a matter of explanation ....
• Australia
9 Jan 11
Can't they meet half way? A Christian wedding, but in some place like a park or Japanese garden?
9 Jan 11
i would love a church wedding when i get married, if i get married as i am single
@toniganzon (72553)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
If they both love each other, it wouldn't matter much which way they would get married, since both will be legally binding. But it is every women's dream to march on the aisle as a beautiful blushing bride! But in my case, it was never my concern. If money is the issue, I would be more content with marrying my man anywhere without any demands. I could march on the aisle anytime i want when i have enough money someday on our wedding anniversary to renew our vows! If she really wants a church wedding, then she should wait and save up. The life after the wedding ceremony is the most important thing i think than the wedding ceremony itself!
@chowee (517)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
Actually,civil wedding is also good because in this type of wedding you can save money compared to that of church wedding.And they are the same where you will be tied with your partner. Church wedding is also good because for me, it only happens once in you life. So much better if you are going to make your wedding to become more grand but if you have little budget, then civil wedding is better..
• United States
9 Jan 11
If the reasons for not wanting to do a church wedding is strictly a financial thing, then that isn't really much of an issue at all. The bulk of the cost of wedding usually goes towards things such as transportation, the reception, the rings, flowers, etc., and not the ceremony itself. Church weddings versus civil wedding clearly are a personal choice, but, in this case, I think that maybe the groom should cave because if religion is important to the couple, it is best to start the marriage religiously.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
9 Jan 11
Hello friend actually most of the wedding now a days are totally out of control. The matrimonial sanctity of marriage are gone just only all about material things and fame. Even they don;t know the real meaning of marriage, in some cases and some couple only but still happening... see you around
@Galena (9110)
8 Jan 11
well I wouldn't ever dream of getting married in a Church because it wouldn't mean anything to me. an Oath to something you don't believe in is an empty Oath. if they are both Christians then they probably should marry in a church, and maybe look to save money elsewhere on the wedding. but if they do have a civil ceremony, they are just as married, so it's up to them.
@didi13 (2926)
• Romania
8 Jan 11
If the girl just wants a religious ceremony can only say Hawaiian, are religiously married but has no civil effects. That is not even worth living together. If you have a religious ceremony without papers, you should look at other types of ceremonies. Engagement and I know, but it seems something is only half done.I understand one reason why he does not want a civil marriage. I have a friend who says that it does not matter and that will not ever marry. But mom has a friend who is a partner for more than 20 years, and older children who are in his name, but to him it seems that since the civil marriage can not walk without giving any expense helter-skelter.Just can not seem romantic at all all aspects of bank accounts, house,insurance, signature etc but married men are part of civilian life. Whatever they decide matters still be together, no matter the manner .
9 Jan 11
I think theres no diffirence at all, What matters are the exchange of vows. If finacial constraints is a lot that matters, why spend for it.. I go for the guy, the money can be save and start up a future