How long can you stay bitter?

Hi bounce. I think based from my answers from your discussions, you can guess what my answer will be. I am the type who hold grudges. Sometimes, I can't hide the fact that I'm holding a grudge against another person. This usually happens when the person does not matter that much to me. I pointedly ignore the person rather than deal with the issues. However, if the person is important to me, I would avoid the issue for several days and deal with it when I'm ready. I make it a point to talk to the person about our issues and straighten it out when I'm no longer that hurt or angry. :)

It depends on the person and what actions that person will do to me in our immediate meeting. Like you, I tend to harbor grudges and anger and I usually file any wrongdoing of other in my internal memory. I also find it hard to forgive especially I sense that the person is not making an effort to apologize in the first place. sometimes I forgive but I don't forget easily as the former. I don't consider it bitterness but rather a good information regarding a person and my relationship with that person.

I don't really hold bitter or angry feelings for too long. When I'm betrayed, I just tell myself, "I was wrong about this person." Even if it hurts, it's a learning experience because it reveals something about the other person's character you didn't realize before. I try to move on from it and look for better people to have in my life. If it's someone who I'm not ready or able to be done with (like a family member), I just try to downgrade the relationship so they're not in a position to betray me again. I don't believe plotting revenge or stewing over other people's actions leads to anything good in most situations.

I am going through something right now too. I have gone through a week of trying to forget but when someone asks me about it I find myself going into a bitter mode. Tonight my older brother text me about how I was doing and I couldn't help but feel the bitterness as I was writing about it. I think I will get over it eventually but for now.... stay clear away from the subject if possible.

I am a forgiving person. But, before i forgive, i analyze what went wrong first. And it has to be that the one who aggrieved me should show remorse even if he won't ask for my forgiveness. However, if despite of what he has done to me and he knows he's wrong, he still remains proud and haughty, i will simply avoid him like a plague and just forgive him in my thought. I will move on, forget about it and enjoy life. I don't wanna be bitter forever because of him or her but go on with my life happily. That way, i feel vindicated when he/she sees me happy always.

dont worry, time will heal. it is okay to be bitter. it is a part of moving on. someday you will forget everything and by that time, you will be able to forgive him/her completely.

Well,i am also a person who not easily forget things.I myself also know it is not good to be narrow-minded.But it is easier said than done.I think it is inherent from we were born.And very hard to change. Sometimes i want to forgive others,but then the past things all appear,and i just couldn't understand why they treat me that way.So i think they were meaning to do that or they just didn't like me. So i flare up again.

Hi. bounce58. I am still feeling somewhat hurt from what a lady has done to me this month. I don't hate her at all. I just feel very disappointed in her because she took something from me that she did not ask me to take. And she got really nasty with me, she hung up her cell phone on me and she also treated me like I was nobody. So, now, I am sad because she has done me this way. I am really trying to get over how she has treated me. I will leave it in God's hands, he can do so much more for this situation that I could ever have. I am not bitter, I just don't want to help her anymore, because she has broken my trust and she is very rude. This is not the first time that she has been rude to me, but I will tell you one thing, this will be her last time being rude to me ever again.

I can't stay bitter with anyone or anybody for a long time. I realized that if I stay bitter like that and not forget what makes me feel like that there is a tendency it will mess up my whole day and even my whole weekend. Many things depended on me and I have to be in sound mind and sound body all the time. I can't let bitterness hamper my positive mind. If I feel bad I always made wrong decisions and my life will be a total mess. There's a way when I felt bitter I tend to get angry and lash out to those who never did anything wrong to me. I really avoid to experience that kind of negative feelings all the time.

It seems you can forgive someone, but the bad things they said or did is still in your memory. You can forgive, but you can't forget. That is the hard part to get over. Depends on what the problem was.....somethings I still remember what was said....many years later.

NOPE, for me it takes a while to 'forgive' (not necessarily forget, though). I remember when me and a very good friend of mine had a BLOW-OUT argument. We didnt talk for MONTHS (this was a girl who I texted/talked to all throughout the day, every day) and it was insanity. We were both at fault and both too stubborn to apologize. Finally she gave in and then I did, too. Time apart actually did do us good, I guess, in the long run (although not really at the same time, as we both are so busy we barely talk these days). But there's nothing like having bad blood with someone. It definitely takes time though, depending on whatever it is that he did to you or how he hurt you.

I can't ever stay bitter with anyone about anything for too long. I may get angry about something but i try not to let it rule my life. Being bitter only brings my mood down. Life is too short to let bitterness lead you around.

For me it really depends. Sometimes when that person is really close to me I could become too bitter for having fights with them. But sometimes I could easily forget those fights because they're very close to me. Ironic, isn't it? Hehe. But yes I become bitter to some point, like now actually. I had a 'silent' fight with one of my closest friends, and I've been counting the days since we last talked. It's 20 days, and still counting.

It's easy to forgive but not forget. That's hard, sometimes impossible. If what you forgive him and love him in May is even more difficult. Decrease in your eyes. I was disappointed and you can not change that. Wrong and you ...someday, perhaps pushed to it .....It's complicated. Better we be born without a conscience, emotions, feelings.

Holding grudge against someone who's very close to you is not new but I'll say its not good if this happens. I have experienced this once when a person whom I valued a lot betrayed me. I was very angry and said and did things which I shouldn't have. I broke contact with him, would not pick up his calls and just look the other way if we met in marketplace. I did this for a good one month or so. But he was very persistent. He came to my place and begged me that I listen to his side of the story, which in the end I did. And then I thought about it with a cool mind and concluded that he had his reasons to do what he did. And my life without him will only have a void which I won't be able to fill. So I forgave him and tried to make things normal.At first it was a little awkward but normalcy resumed in a couple of months. A small sting remains but most of the grudge is gone now. I guess that's what you should do too. Give the person a chance to put his/her side of th story too and then decide whether the betrayal and the grudge is too big to let the close relationship suffer. The grudge will take some time and will go off automatically if you both make a conscious effort to make things normal.

Hi bounce! Are you sure your not my long lost sibling? I hold a grude, don't forgive easily and NEVER FORGET! That may sound a bit harsh, but that's how I am! I am very stubborn too! I have gone two years or so without speaking to close friends. We might eventually speak again, but I never fully forgive or forget or trust completely and the relationship is never completely the same depending on the "crime" that they committed!

I try not to stay bitter, but the turth is that when someone hurts my feelings....I remember it for quite sometime. I don't know if I ever really forget. The problem is that if they were to ever hurt my feelings again..the first time would just come rushing back and it would be like double. I don't think I would really call it a grudge because I'm not like trying to get anyone back or sitting there considering it constantly..but it does tend to pop into mind..the words that hurt my feelings.

I find holding grudges for me to be very unhealthy as I dwell and concentrate for too long so I rather just let the situation go. I am able to slowing forgive but truly never forget, thereafter I find that the relationship between us basically will never be the same. So I am not one to hold grudges as I feel that life is way too short to be concentrating on something that is going to consume my life.

I am the kind that does not forgive easily. When I see the person who wronged me, I do not talk to that person at all! I let time heal myself. If the person did something really really bad to me, I tell my friends about it.. then after wards I'll be ok. :) But I will never ever befriend that person anymore! I will just be civil. That's it.