when helping others get to much

Hello friend, people who write/call me only if they have problems and ask for my help, i don't count as friends. Friendship is two sides relationship, not only once side and if someone thinks that he can use me that way, he will be out of my friends very fast. It happened that way with one girl who is one of the good friends of my boyfriend. She divorced, we were with her every time she wanted to talk with someone or every time she wanted to go out of home she was invited at our apartment. We were trying to be with her all the time, so here it is in the day when she receive the document which says that she is divorced she invited us in her home. All week long she asked us what we want to eat and drink when we go there. And here it is the day when we went there. In last moment she decided that she has nothing to put on the table and asked us to go to buy food and drinks. We did it, spend lots of our christmas money we had to use for one trip. When we went in her home she was trying to make us leave after one hour. So i never talked with her again, i just don't want to interact with that kind of people, they have nothing to give me.

Yes, I've had friends who have taken advantage like this, and I learned my lesson the hard way and stopped it happening. I am not nasty at all, but I just tell them that I can't do it or won't do it, whatever the case may be. I have noticed that these so-called friends have slowly disappeared from my life because I had stopped jumping to do their every request. _Derek

There are really some friends who are only there when they need you. They go away after you help them and forget about you. I hate making friends with these people. I stay away from them even if they are my friends if I feel that they are already taking advantage of me. I don't want to leave them but I know there will come a point that they will be the one to leave me and that's harder.

I always felt the obligation to help people like I was born to do something, the idea of living in this world and let my life go blank always terrified me. But I didn't see it coming in a way that it was impossible to continue. At one point I had many friends calling or asking me to call them and telling their problems, asking for my advices and it got to a point that my friend called me 3am when she wanted, because I said so, I didn't want she not even a minute sad without having me to talk about her problems... Four years later I needed her, for the first time, just to listen like I've been doing in 4 yearas on our friendship. It took me a while to realize, she wasn't up for. She start to get distant as was I who had the problem. I humiliate my self many times asking her to go out with me but she wouldn't because of laziness. I start to get really angry. So I looked back to all friends that were like that and guess what, all my friends! I started a cleansing in my life, now I have the rules: know when to help. She was a big girl like many other friends I had and they complained ABOUT EVERYTHING, and seriously when I had this hudge problem and bad place in my life, they were all no where to be found! Guess what? None of them are my friends anymore. I don't deal with bad friends or people who is not also able to help me as I do to them. I was too giving and I went too far, I didn't respect me. One of these friends are after me now, I don't want nothing to do with her. She really misses me I think and I gave another chance that she blew. She doesn't have a drop of respect to me and I know I deserve better friends. I love much more my life now.

hi syankee, Asking for help and asking for help in an abusive manners is different it is sad to know that the person who you think your friend is the one who are trying to abuse you like remembering you because they need something from you, well friendship is helping and sharing but not in the situation that they are going to take advantage of you because you always help them. Honest conversation will make them realize about their wrong did happy posting