Do you choose to live with someone before marrying them???

For religious reasons I would say wait but in todays society I can not say that. My husband and I lived together and shared everything such as the car, bank account before we got married. I lost my job, did not have any money, almost no where to go and that is the reason we moved in together. You do find out a lot more about someone by living with them. I have had friends that when I graduated high school I got an apartment with and things went down hill. I also think that some are not honest with others and by living with them you will be able to know more about them without them telling you.

my husband and I pratically lived together. He had a dorm room that was paid for by his scholarship, but he spent every night at my apartment. We would use his meal plan to eat on campus half the nights, and cook together the other half. We knew each other's habits, so we were going into the marriage with open eyes, and knew what to expect of the other domestically. I have a friend who is getting divorced after a year of marriage because she never lived with him. He portrayed himself as an independent person, but his mom did everything for him. Washed his clothes, did the cooking, and clean up. When he was at home he could just sit and play video games. She tried to get him to help even with basic things, like when he got home to switch out the laundry that she had put in at her lunch break, and he couldn't even manage to do that.

I ABSOLUTELY agree with living together first. Others have given great examples of how you don't really know a person unless you live with them. I honestly don't understand why anyone would make a decision as important as marriage so blindly. I personally would not get married unless i knew how every aspect of the relationship would work. I would never get married without living together first and I would never advise anyone else to do it, either.

Well i don't like the idea of live in relationships cause 1- it spoils the kind of life after marriage you are expecting and 2- if things go smoothly in the relationship, one or the other might be too happy with getting everything he/she wants without an official commitment like "marriage" and eventually get bored. It is more psychological. Also, if there is good understanding, trust, honesty and loyalty in a relationship . . . then even after marriage if problems arise one can talk things out and solve them. which is a healthy relationship according to me. Moreover, if you think you are being smart by going for live-in relationship to check the compatibility, your partner might also be smart enough to act the way you like and then change after marriage. So you never know what will happen and if you love the person, you will know how to handle them with their worst habits or acts :)

actually, yes. it's a lot safer than marrying someone without getting to know him fully. you'll know his whole personality when you get to live with him in one roof, you'll know what problems to expect and how to handle it, and eventually both of you are already adjusted to each other when it comes to maintaining problems and situations at home. relationship, no matter how long have you been handling it together but not having to experience living with the person, it might lead to unexpected problems when both of you started to live together, especially when both of you got married and handle things at home. war can be possible, and most cases lead to a divorce. so, it has a good benefit somehow. :)

Times have changed a lot. 20 years ago people wouldn't even think about it. I don't think you can truly know whether or not you can live with someone if you haven't lived with them before. You shouldn't assume that you can get along with someone on a 24 hour a day basis just because you like them. It's different when they are around you nonstop.

Living together is not allowed in the society as per our tradition. It has got both positive and negative aspects of it. Knowing each other and staying together is a good option but our culture would not allow.

Yes yes yes, until you have lived with someone 24/7, you will never know them. I am also in agreement with long dating time, even then you just never get to see that person as they really are, and after all that is what you need to know the most, as well if you see something that you do not like, please please do not sit back and wait for it to change, because it never will, only if you say what you do not like and ask for a change and then it may be just hidden, so that is my reason for saying yes to living together, after all you are looking for a life mate, not some one who is going to have you running out the door in a few weeks

My wife and I lived together for around a year before getting married and I could see nothing wrong with this at all. In fact, I would say that it was a good period in which we really got to know each other. If things hadn't worked out - for you can never tell- then we could have parted and remained friends. Marriage was a commitment for us, as we know that there will be problems now and again, but we are committed to sorting them out. _Derek

i would say yes to this.. i guess you'll fully know each other when you wake up and sleep together for a very long time every day. i say that you'll know a lot of things about your partner by just watching him do things around even though you guys are together for years. i always notice this with mine. whenever i wake up with him beside me until he dropped me back to my place, i have something to keep in mind that he does this and that. he likes to do this and that in the morning.

Actually you idea is like trial and error method which I'm not really convincing even I'm a man because that kind of set up will unfair to the girl. So it is better and you can know each other in other way before marraige not in what your idea.. see you around

hi, many people today are choosing to live with someone before they marry, i think because they still want to prove in their self if they could survive until to the end,and if there relationship is now deep,they will marrying now. and i will choose that too, live to my partner and then marry is the next.

For me, love is not all about tying the knot.If it's a church wedding, it's just a ceremony.If it's a civil wedding, it's just for legality. Living together is not a sin for me as long as you put God in the center of your relationship & both of you are single & you are not offending or hurting anyone else.Not all people in biblical times are wed by priests or judges.But if you are after security, then I think tying the knot or having a civil marriage is necessary.In the case of couples who are officially married & after marriage they found out that there are things they have discovered about their partners that they haven't known before, is not really a serious thing 'coz if you love the person, you'll have to accept him for who or what he is.You have to encourage him/her to change for the better & if that is impossible, your love for that person will decide if you have to let go or keep that love.

I for one actually agree with living with the person you want to marry first. As you stated, being together as boyfriend and girlfriend is different from being together under one roof. The problem I have with this is how other people view it. I'm worried that they may have negative thoughts with regards to people living together without the marriage bond.

definitely. I think that marriage is such a huge commitment that you need to have some real life with the two of you as a couple, sharing responsibilities and sharing life experiences before you can ever commit to forever.

Ya, i do agree. better know that person before getting married. on other side we say that we should keep some surprises after marriage as it would be spice in life. I have many friends who got married and now say its nothing different after marriage because they discovered everything before marrying. i think both is right, go with your heart where it takes you as you are the best person to judge.

I don't agree in that methods, my friend. Because it will not help for a good relationship. Trial and error is not the answer to have a good relationship...the best things for me is loving and fearing with God. Find a person that having a fear of God and relationship will be success

Definitely you have a point in that. But it depends in the country's culture. There are Asian countries still believe in the sanctity of marriage. If all people have the same fear of finding their partners'flaws, what's the use of marrying that someone? And if so, why there is so called marriage? If having someone in life just for the time while you enjoying your partner's company or until you like that person's personality/character, it seems that the relationship is just like playing and not bound by love. Marriage is the outcome of attraction between two people bound by their intense feeling of love for each other no matter what flaws they found out into each other. So for me, I think marrying someone is accepting all his goods and bads, if any. We are all unique, and have individual differences. If we see something bad in them, we never know, they might also see something bad in us. Just like that. So for me, I would let marriage to comes first, if I found something wrong, I would find ways to fix it in the best way I can. Besides, if we can't have a perfect marriage, atleast let's try to have a good one. Well...that's my own views.

I got engaged some years ago and had a lucky escape after finding out that for half of our relationship she'd been sleeping with her best friends brother. This time round I met my current partner online, met up moved and now we've a daughter. It seems a backwards way of doing things, as now we're planning our wedding. Before Poppy came along we did get to know each other quite well. We loved each other nearly from the start. I understands what you mean though. If I'd have got married all those years ago I know I would've been getting divorced. Thats my biggest fear in this situation getting divorced, I want to get married and only the once too. So doing it this way round has made me feel easier about getting married.

I agree for that statement, but since I live in a sensitive country it's a big no no because you can only live in after you received the sacrament of marriage. So the only thing that you can do is to know more about your partner's attitude and character before you decide to marriage.