My apology to mylot friends!!!
By Sreekala
@Sreekala (34312)
India
January 12, 2011 5:07am CST
Dear friends,
Currently I have 522 friends in my list and I am not sure that how many of them are active here. Some are starting topics on regular basis and some others are starting many topics in a day and another group is starting topics occasionally. I am reading those entire topics which are coming to my mail box but I am not able to respond each and every topic of my friends due to lack of time. I am doing mylot in my leisure hours in office. Currently I don’t have any net connection at home even though I have the connection at home I hardly get time to sit with computer as I am busy with my kids at home.
Usually when I am doing mylot I am looking on the current topics (started by friends) and responding to them because it is very difficult for me to find time to look on old topics. If I have free time definitely I check the old topics too and I love to give my answer to those unattended topics.
Now I have learnt that some of my friends deleted me from their list. I really don’t know the reason for the deletion (they have requested my friendship). I wish to inform to my current friends in mylot that I am not intentionally avoiding your topics but time is limited for me and that is the only reason for not replying to your topic.
Have you ever deleted any of your friends or get deleted from others list.
Do you have a clue if somebody deletes you?
10 people like this
39 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Jan 11
Being that I am so active I rarely request friendships. As eventually I get to a great deal of discussions. I do however have a great deal of friends on my list who 95% of them requested me.
I am in your same situation, where as I get so many email alerts of friends discussion that it takes me a great deal of time to go through each and every one of them. I can only respond to the ones that I truly can related to as some friends start discussions about certain international sports and such and I really can not contribute.
I refuse to answer any discussion just for the sake of responding, after all it would not be right. A great many of my friends list go through phases where at times they start several discussions in one sitting then it slows down a bit. So all we can do is answer what we can and hopefully they understand.
I also have several that start so many and never respond to any of their comments. Go figure. At any rate I do not delete any members as it does not bother me whether they are active and or not and I would feel sort of cruel to do that. Some day I may not be so active so hopefully they will understand and not delete me also.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Jan 11
Hello hardowrkinggurl,
Happy to interact with you for the first time, though I have seen your many replies for other members. Your avatar is giving a different identity, true.
I think there are many things correlate in between us. I too don’t request for friends and major part of the friends requested me. In the beginning I added some friends. Now I am adding those friends I have interacted and become friends before getting into list.
I too refuse to respond just for the sake of responding.
I can understand if anybody deletes the inactive friends, I respect those people who want to keep the list with active friends only. In my case, I never went into hibernation. Then also I got cuts….
@saphrina (31551)
• South Africa
12 Jan 11
Hi sweetie.
I feel the least someone can do is tell a person the reason for deleting one from that list.
I will only delete if the person is not active for more than 6 months.
We all are busy and cannot be here 24 hours a day nor can we respond to each and every discussion, friends or not.
Interests are not the same.
Wonder if people will understand that though.
TATA.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
12 Jan 11
Hi Saphy,
I am not a person who deletes any friend here and I have friends with even zero credits. I understand there is no point to keep such kinds of friend in our list then also I am keeping them by thinking that once they wish to become active here...
I really don't like to hurt anybody.
I don't think it as a big issue but surprises me what will be the reason?
@SViswan (12051)
• India
12 Jan 11
It's been quite some time since I have been active on mylot (as you very well know). So, I wouldn't even know if anyone has deleted me. I know that I have not deleted anyone. I come here only when time permits.
I'm thinking of re-bonding with my friends here again...hopefully I should be here more often now.
Personally I wouldn't bother too much if anyone deleted me from their list if I'm not responding. I don't see the point in me keeping me in their friend list just coz I was active long back and requested them. So, I'm fine with that.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
SV!
Your idea of re-bounding with old friends is most welcome.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
12 Jan 11
Hello SV,
How are you dear? Happy New Year to you. I am so glad to see you around.
Yes, I know very well about you and your appearance in mylot. Whenever you appear here then don’t forget to drop a response for me then how can I forget and delete you dear.
Hope your kids are doing well.
Have a wonderful year. Hope to see you more often.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
Hi Sree!
Please do not be apologitic (to me) come what may, I will never delete you from my list of friends..
Whatever you have written is very true that we cannot attend to all our friends' posts due to so many reasons. If anyone does not want to keep us in his/her list, we cannot help it. Mylot is like a sea, if someone has deleted us, many other requests will come our way and we can add friends of our choice. I am also not aware, how many would have deleted me from their list, for not responding to their posts.. On my part, I delete those from time to time, who never respond to my posts and are/were in my list. I wish to keep the list crisp, short and trimmed. I have observed over a period of time, long list of friends does not fetch you large number of responses and some members participate here just for earning and for nothing else.
Have a great evening.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
12 Jan 11
Hello Deepak,
I agree with you, large numbers of friends in list do not serve any purpose. But I don’t want to hurt anybody so I am adding every request and do keep all of them in my list. Once I checked my friend’s list, gone through each and every profile and deleted those who get a ban. It is a tedious task to check all of the friend’s profile.
Thank you very much for your assurance.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
12 Jan 11
Please do not think too much that you do not want to hurt anyone, therefore, you will not delete anyone. What about those who do not care about us and delete us?
Do they not hurt us?
1 person likes this
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
Your in my list of friends, Sreekala. I don't delete you because I am a friendly person and there is no reason for me to delete you friend.
You don't need to say sorry for being inactive for the past few weeks. Take care and have a great day!
1 person likes this
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
21 Jan 11
I want to thanks and appreciate your good comments on me, my friend. I considered it as a good compliments on me being your friend...
I will be your friend, forever until mylot is here. But not beyond in here if you would like to include me as a friends also in facebook..twitter and other networking site. It is my pleasure...
1 person likes this
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
13 Jan 11
Hi dear,
Here time is important and I am sure that all will not get enough to spend with myLot, as this is secondary and it is a bit of low preferred profiled job. People who are having no other work also cannot sit with myLto for a day log with this site as it require more efforts with it.
Most of the people here are like you only and it is not mandatory to provide responses to all discussions. As long as you so much of friends and you may not be able to respond to all of their discussions also. Also, it is sure that all cannot attend all topics in any way.
If you submit so much of discussion topics and not responding to their comments may lead finally to a deletion. It was the same discussion topic that I come with last day. Your case is different and if any one deleted from the list, the reason may be something else.
Again, I have NEVER deleted any of the friends from my list. I am sure that all are not the same way and many are requested friends and some are demanded friends. But I never go for it because, all are friends and I have never had any issue with anyone so far.
However, I should consider whether I should go for the same, those who are come with 30-40 discussion topics and never respond to our discussions. They are interested only for new discussions and never feel or understand the value of real discussions values.
Best regards,
Thank-s
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
15 Jan 11
Hello thanks,
'Time' is creating the havoc and we have to do more works in limited time.
I am starting very less topics and occasionally only. If I am getting large number of notifications from a particular friend and his/her topic is not appealing me then I may ‘turn off’ the notification rather than deleting the friend from list. Then again it make problems when checking friend's topics, one or two page may filled with the particular's friend's topics.
Finally those want my friendship here will stay with me for ever.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
21 Jan 11
Hi thanks, Thank you so much for your encouraging words and compliments. But it happened with me, that is true but anyway I am not taking it as serious. Since the persons are not close to me there is no need to be hurt too.
Once again thanks and have a wonderful day.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
18 Jan 11
Hi dear,
Here I don’t think that we should be so sensitive any way. Only because of our comments are not in time, nobody is going to delete from the list. Also, from my observation, you are upto the mark and so appealing. In my view, you are doing a nice job and no need of any deletion. Also, ever if we comes up with our comments and view, it is our opinion on the subject and not with the person. So, I think people will realize and move accordingly.
Even some time I won’t get time enough to talk to all with various reasons. We all here are having something or other works, so that cannot concentrate the entire day with myLot. As it is having its attraction and our desire to talk to our friends, among all other busy times also, we find some time here in myLot, and I appreciate all are in such a way, except few. In such a scenario, I don’t think anybody will dare to purposively delete from the list of friends.
So be honored and I am sure that we all will be good friends and you chain of friends will be so lengthy here within few days.
Thank-s
1 person likes this
@owlwings (43910)
• Cambridge, England
12 Jan 11
I hardly ever invite people. Most of my friends are people who have invited me (for whatever reason). I spend most of my time here responding to discussions and very rarely post any of my own so I don't notice whether my friends are 'following me' or not (and it doesn't really matter to me).
Now and then I go through my Friends list, looking at each profile. If they have 'no activity in the last 60 days', I will usually delete them; if they have not contributed to the same interests I have contributed to, they are candidates for deletion, as are people who start discussions and never comment on the responses they get.
Anyone who spams me gets deleted instantly (and often reported).
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
12 Jan 11
Hello owlwings,
I am respecting your criteria for deleting a friend. I am an active person and interacted with those who deleted me. I am sure I have interacted with those members here, so I remember them well, they were in my list and they invited me to their list. Now I have seen their topics today’s topics I wondered how they didn’t come to my mailbox and checking upon the same I realize that I am no longer in their list. Earlier I received their notifications in my inbox and still it is there.
Last week also I realized to get a cut from somebody’s list, and today is another one and I am not sure how many deleted me so far.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
12 Jan 11
Hi Sreekala, not everyone of us has the privilege of having lots of free time in our hands. It is understandable if I don't see you responding to my discussions. As of late I have been quite busy attending to my new houses which left me little time mylotting. Even though I come here everyday but I cannot comment to each and every discussions my friends started due to my tight schedules. I have been in the past been strike out of my friends' lists probably due to my long absence in their discussions or other reasons only best known to them.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Jan 11
Hello zandi,
I remember your topic with similar issue, at that time I never know that I am also axed. I find out those deletions in the same way you did it. I just don't care for those but I want to make sure with my current friends, if you are going to delete me, please keep in mind the reason for my absence in your topics.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
12 Jan 11
Dear Sree,
I too have more than 500 friends, also do not know how many have deleted me. Moreover I do respond almost every topics of those in my friends list. If I have to respond to all 500 friends I hope may be mylot would ban me or I may have to quite my present job. Anyhow I can understand the situation as me too at times faces these kinds of discomforts. I have not yet seen any sort of remedy to find whether I am deleted from friends list. Wish you happy and comfortable mylotting.
1 person likes this
@neildc (17239)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
13 Jan 11
i too do not delete friends from my list. i believe that they will find their way back here again if they gone inactive for times. i also feel sorry that for the past three months, i wasn't able to get active. but i guess, they will understand my situation, as i did that for my son...
1 person likes this
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
12 Jan 11
Hi kala,
I will tell you one thing. There are some users here who keep track of the people who are usually active and when they see them off line for months together, without bothering to what possibly could have happened to you would delete you as if you were nothing at all.
Once I had given a post on this issue and there people spoke that they never deleted their friends unless they found that the person is missing more than six months and some would not even wait for months.
Now keeping me as your friend and throwing you out is your choice. If you feel you should do do it or else do not hurt people.
This is what I have to say.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Jan 11
Hello Rajib,
If I am not active here then I can understand the reason for their deletion. Now I am signing in on everyday basis but I agree I can’t respond on everyday day basis.
I have great respect for those who want to keep the active friends only. It is a time consuming task to visit the profile of the friends and find out who is active and who is not. I am sure that nobody can delete me on ‘inactiveness’. I don’t want to hurt anybody here and no complaint for those who delete me. Here I am trying to convey the possible reason for ‘not responding to all topics to my current friends.
@krajibg (11922)
• Guwahati, India
12 Jan 11
Hi Alice,
I meant to say if I do not go in hand any further is not it better to shred off the friendship?
Not having so much is better than having so many who are not active at all. I am neither telling as an established fact that people are keeping your track. It is possible or why only you get deleted?
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
12 Jan 11
hello dear sis,
I also have friends in my lists that are not active.
It happens dear,but of course it hurts to know that friends deleted us from their lists especially those ones that we are close with.
I don't delete friends from my lists,active or not i just leave them in my lists.
I have more than 200 friends in my lists but i barely got more than 20 responses,and not all of those responses came from those people in my friends lists,but it's fine.
I only have around 50 people in my lists that i can call real friends,even if some are not that active,but whenever they came online,they never fail to say HI or HELLO.
Don't be sad dear...friends really come and go.
Those ones that stays are real friends....would it be virtual or in real life.
Have a good day dear sis
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Jan 11
Hello dear sister,
Well said, those who stays with us are real friends. Fortunately those who deleted me are not come under the closed circle.
I don't know how many real friends I have in mylot. I think I have to count them.
Thank you very much for the support dear. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
13 Jan 11
hello again sis
I always feels sad and upset once i lost a friend,or a friend ignore me ,real or virtual.
I am very sensitive when it comes to friendship.
I am easily affected when i feel that a friend seems indifferent.
But as time goes by...i tried to control my emotions...
so now...i know that...there's no such word as "forever" (but the word forever alone)
Keep smiling dear
1 person likes this
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
Hi Sreekala!
I consider myself a newbie since I just joined a month ago and I already gained many friends. Some are requested by me and the others are newbies who requested a friend request and I accept it at once. Well,who am I not to accept them,right? I just don't understand why some don't accept friend requests. Yes,I noticed that I still have some pending requests and I just happen to know it lately. I made so many friend request when I was just a week old here and I guess some of mylotters wont accept newbies as one of their friends,sigh!
I never really delete anyone from my friends list even if he/she is already inactive. I don't know,I just feel it's kinda unfriendly if I do it. I never knew if someone deleted me as their friend,I hope they wont do it as I am being friendly here.
See you around!
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
19 Jan 11
Ok then my love and hugs to her dear.
Of course, you can call me like that.
Your thinking 'who am I reject them', I really appreciate that. It tells about your humble nature. I am really glad to meet you and interact with you here. Thank you so much dear.
Take care and have a nice time.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
18 Jan 11
Hi mtrguanlao,
First of all I would like to say that, I love your avatar picture dear, she is so cute and I am in love with her. Who is this pretty angel?
You may be joined recently but I think you are very much active here and already got your position here. I have seen some of your replies (we have some similar friends) and impressed with that.
Regarding not accepting the FR, I don’t have any idea, I accept very quickly if I get a FR. But some are very careful andthey will wait and see how the member is active etc.
Thank you so much for your reply. Have a nice time.
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
Hi Sreekala!
Thanks for the compliment on my avatar! She is my precious little angel,my daughter! She is a big blessing in our family that's why I made her my avatar so I can always see her here at work(online).
I'm quite inactive as of now Sree(can I call you at that name?). I barely post 3-5comments a day,well,at least I get to visit mylot in a day.
We both have the same perspective when it comes to FR. I just don't get at some who will wait first for his/her performance here before accepting them. As for me,who am I to reject them,right?
See you around Sree and have a nice time too!
1 person likes this
@Austee (131)
•
14 Jan 11
Hi! I am new here in my lot. I know how you feel. I have not check my friend's list but I hope no one would delete me since I am also busy. But I find time to reply the messages I have. And I also look into discussions from time to time. But at some point I cannot post responses quickly. I write but some were unfinished. This is why I wasn't able to post my unfinished responses.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
18 Jan 11
Hello Austee,
First of all welcome to mylot.
I did the same way you did, writing something half way and closing the window just because of getting busy. Sometimes I don't even bother to save the work in word format. The next day I may forget about that topic, probably it may not see in the current topics then I have to search in inbox and reply. It may take much time and I prefer to do current topics when I get free time.
Thank you very much for your time. Hope you will enjoy mylot and will be more active too.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Jan 11
Sreekala you have often responded to my discussions and I have missed you
but I do not delete my friends. the few I deleted had maybe ten points and had not been here for months. I also have a lot of friends. some one told me over 900 so thats more than I can handle and I am on a lot but sometimes because of some health issues I too have been off.please do not apologize for having a life out side mylot.I just know how hard it to answer so many when I have so many too. not all are active and when I delete a few they are ones who must have got bored or something and left after only a few days here. When you are working you can only do what you can do. I am elderly and retired so I have some advantages too.
I worked part time til I was 79 then retired and Ihad mylotted a lot in the evening and on the weekends.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
24 Jan 11
Hi Hatley,
You have large number of friends in your list so you know it well how hard to respond all of their topics. Lack of time is the main reason and of course some topics are not coming under our interest too. If we want to delete the inactive friends, it also takes much time to check their profile and find out who are active and who are not.
I have some idea about you and your son, your works etc. It is great that you worked till 79. I know about your health issues too. How is your leg now?
Do I need to tell that you are a regular respond of mine, sometimes your response is coming late but you never missed mine.
Take good care of you always.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
6 Apr 11
Hi. Sreekala. That is so sad! I would never delete you or any of my friends because of something like this. It is not your fault because you are unable to be active here at myLot due to your kids and your job. That is quite understandable. I only delete a friend, if they are trying to become a bad problem, or if they are trying to start crap with me on myLot, that is the only time that I will delete them from my friends list. I am very sorry that you were deleted just because you was not here as often. Sometimes, I am not either. If someone has deleted me on myLot, I would not have noticed because I have so many friends that are on my list and it is so hard for me to keep up with them. If they did, oh, well. I will get another friend that will replace them in a heartbeat! Don't let this bother you, because I am sure that this has happened to many other people too, that have not been active as they wished to. I have a friend right now, that has not been active in over eight months, and I have not deleted her from my friend list at all. I won't do so, because I may never really know what is going on with her in her life that is outside of myLot. She could be going through something that is majorly serious. I would not delete her for circumstances that she does not give me a reason to. And others should not do you the same way either!
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
13 Apr 11
Hello cream,
If anybody deletes us we can’t do anything. I am an observant person in mylot and once somebody added me I can remember that user for ever. Once I happened to see the topics in home page from these people and wondered why I have not received the notification and I checked the profile then only I understand those people delete me from their list. I am sure those who interacted with me well can understand my character and never delete me. One person replied to me this topic and explains the reasons for deleting friends. It is ok, each and every one have their own strategies to clean their friends list.
No worries dear, I am happy with those caring people in my list. I too, never delete any person from my list.
Thank you so much for your support. Have a nice time.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
16 Jan 11
That is such a shame…Why would someone delete you just because you have not been as active as usual? I am in a similar situation to yours because I have been extremely busy just before Christmas and after that we went away on holiday where I didn’t have any internet connection so I am very, very behind now and attempting to respond to as many notifications as I can each day and it still isn’t many because it’s still school holidays and I have to care for my daughter until she goes back to school. I hope my friends will not delete me because of this; I would like to think that a good friend would not do that and at least send me a private message first! Don’t worry too much Sreekala; your good friends are still here…I am!
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
18 Jan 11
Hi Paula,
How are you? I was thinking about you, you were not here like earlier. I was about to send a PM to you then I saw you some my friend’s discussion. Hope you had a wonderful vacation.
True dear, great friends never delete us. Thank you so much for the encouragement.
Have a lovely time.
1 person likes this
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
15 Jan 11
I did delete few of my mylot's friends because most of their discussions did not get my interests.
In your situation, I shall just glance through the topic which I am interested in.
Besides, the discussion should be in summarized form.
I hate to read those repeated and long discussion.
Read what you can, respond to what you are interested in.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
19 Jan 11
Hello aeiou78,
In my case, if a discussion not appeals me then I delete that discussion from my mailbox. If a friend starting topics, which is not in my interest then I may 'turn off' the notification. For me, deleting is some what rude and I won't do it.
Thank you for sharing your method, now I have more ideas how people tend to delete their friends. I respect your views.
Have a nice day to you.
@wealthymouli (710)
• India
22 Jan 11
Thats so sad to read sreekala. I did not deleted anyone so far. But felt like deleting as they are in my friends list but never respond to any of my discussion. Of course they become friend on some common interest is it not. Then they are silent means I do not understand why and how they become friends with me. But I am not a person who post lots of discussion for the sake of increasing earning. Hehehehe...
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
24 Jan 11
Hello wealthymouli,
I think, I must understand your feelings too. It is natural to get angry with friends when you don’t get responses and may feel to delete those from the list. Perhaps I never face any such situation- not getting responses- but surely all of my friends in list are not responding to me (my maximum number of responses only 114, I think) every time and I just not bothered the same because I am getting responses from other members.
I have seen that some of your topics got many number of responses (Am I right?.
Thank you so much for sharing it, now I have a clear picture, when people feel to delete friends.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
14 Jan 11
Lord Jesus Christ says, "There is no greater love than this: that a man die for his friends." I guess you could understand 'die' to mean 'do absolutely anything.'
Know then what 'being listed as a friend' means: it means you are free to send them messages (as are they to you) and that your started-discussions will show up on their friends'-discussion pages and alerts (as will theirs on yours) ... it doesn't mean you or they promise to love them, it just makes the love possible.
1 person likes this