What would you do if a guy pushes himself to you though you told him to stop?
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
Philippines
January 16, 2011 8:27pm CST
Last night I went to my friend's house. I'm with my friends and we had some fun there then one of my friends has an older brother who likes me. Here's the story. That guy likes me since he met me. That was a year ago. We're okay, we're good friends but he misunderstood my nice attitude. Then there came a time that I lost my phone and we had no communication for so many months and I'm really busy. He had a girlfriend and for me it was a good news. Last night, I saw him and he talked to me. Like before, when we are still close but as the conversation goes on, the topic went to the past. The past wherein why did I didn't give him a chance? He's blaming me. He's pushing himself to me. I already told him that I don't have time to have a boyfriend now. I frankly told him but still he's pushing himself and he's blaming me about the past. I told him to stop but he's willing to wait? He has a lot of hope! I did every thing to make him turn off but still he's hopeful. How can you handle the situation? What would you do if someone pushes himself/herself to you?
4 people like this
18 responses
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
17 Jan 11
ha! ha! ha!
He is having a very close girlfriend, but he is still trying to approach you.
Other than you, does he has any other similar ladies as you too?
If you really don't like him, you should stop keeping contact with him.
This is to avoid any further misunderstanding from him.
For me, I shall not accept this guy.
As what I have seen in the past, you might not be the only lady he is trying to approach at the moment or later after getting you.
A lady is really need a reliable and faithful guy to work together for their future.
2 people like this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Actually they broke up just recently. I also told him about this that maybe he's approaching me because he's broken hearted from his recent girlfriend. I just don't like him because I don't feel happy. I just want him to be my friend but now I need to stay away from him because of the situation. He tries to convince me. Whew! I'll do every thing just to stay away from him so that it'll be okay. Anyway thanks for responding! :)
1 person likes this
@luanakent (794)
• Brazil
17 Jan 11
It's true.. I bet when he is with his girlfriend, he says he loves her ..too
These men!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Yes! I agree! That's what I think too that's why I don't feel him to be my boyfriend. :)
@phoenix3423 (135)
• United States
17 Jan 11
I would tell him that you wanted to be friends but since he is completely unable to understand that you are not interested then you are going to keep your distance. I know thats hard to do and say but I would tell him the reason why you are staying away is because he does not respect you enough to listen to you and he is trying to convince you otherwise rather than just listen and respect what you have to say then I would stay away from him. It may sound cold but you have made your point and have tried to be nice now is time to protect yourself and maybe he will one day get the hint and you can talk again but my expirence with guys like that is they never take no for an answer. and that is bad news for you. I hope you get things straightened out
2 people like this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Yes. I guess I really have to stay away from him and do something to get rid of him. You're right, he's convincing. Is that right? He's really pushing himself. but anyway, thanks for responding and sharing your opinion. I'll just stay away from him. :)
1 person likes this
@phoenix3423 (135)
• United States
17 Jan 11
you seem like a very smart and sweet Lady. I have faith you will do what is best for you. I am glad for the chance to give my thoughts on the situation.
1 person likes this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Thanks! :) Yes. I'm just doing what's best for me and at the same time, I must prioritized first important things than having a relationship. :)
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
17 Jan 11
Hi, this is a very serious problem we should handle, or else more trouble will appear.
Firstly, ask youself, do you love him or not? Do you want to have a try with him? If you don't have a slight mind to marry him. Then tell him directly, you said that you have told him that you don't have time to have a boyfriend now. I think that excuse is not good enough. Because he may thinks that he still has chance. So i think if you really want him to stop. You should tell him directly that you just take him as a friend and have no intention for further relationship. (of course, you may be afraid of hurting his feeling, if so, you can make a white lie: tell him that you already have got a boyfriend). Only by putting out all his hope, that he will not bother you any more. Though it seems a little coldhearted, but in love, we must be decisive, because indecisive can only hurt you two.
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
I don't want to try him. I don't. I have many things to prioritized. I also told him that I want him as a friend only and that's all but he still keeps pushing and hoping so I would rather make some way for him to stay away or I'll be the one to stay away.
1 person likes this
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
17 Jan 11
You have already abruptly told him to stop and he did not get the message. Maybe say I am going to call the police as this is now harassment. You need to be careful with someone like this as there is probability he can take it too far.
Try not to meet with him alone as you just never know if he will harm you. Make sure you make others aware of his persistence so that they are aware that he is too pushy and perhaps they can speak to him to get him to back up.
Be careful and I wish you well.
2 people like this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Yes. That's why I'm doing. I don't want to be in that situation wherein I'm alone with him. Thanks for the concern. I think I really have to stay away from him. :)I'm with my friends always so there's nothing to be worry about. Thanks for responding. :)
1 person likes this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
I told him already but he's still pushing himself. He's always making a way to see me but yes, I'll tell him frankly that I don't like him to be my boyfriend. If he still keeps pushing himself towards me, I'll just stay away from him. :) Thanks for responding. :)
1 person likes this
@rajhpatel29 (20)
•
17 Jan 11
This issue pretty much sounds like my story..lol Even i had a same problem with my girl. I liked her, but she was not ready for it and im still waiting for her. I try to talk to her but she never replies. but im still waiting for her to come in my life. I only believe that If your love is true, then the whole universe will help you to get your love..that is some kind of saying in my culture..lol but it's true. If he really likes you then you will say yes someday even tho u dont want to say yes now.
2 people like this
@luanakent (794)
• Brazil
17 Jan 11
Sucks to be sexy lolol
well.. you already said "NO" to him.
If he insist is because he is the type who wants to overcome fatigue.
Too bad .
this guy is too boring.
Try to be natural but not very intimate, if possible avoid being alone with him.
Be gentle but firm.
If he comes back talking about the past blaming you, tell him that you no longer want you blaming because you are not at fault if hi dont understand a single word: NO.
so, he is wrong.
Sincerity is a virtue and not a sin.
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Yes. He can't understand the word "stop" and "no" I think I should translate in all languages? HAHA! :) That's what I'm going to do. Last night I stay away from him because our friends left us alone but I made an excuse to go with my friends and whew1 I don't feel comfortable with him. :P
1 person likes this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
Well it is really annoying to be pursued and diligent at that by someone you don't like. I did experience that during my single days and you know what I am one person who is brutally frank sometimes. I've turned down 3 suitors right on their very face by telling them straightforward that I don''d wait for a lifetime I could not love them for they are not the type of man I wanted to be with. And that's it. Even if I hurt them, at least I was able to free myself from them. One of them kept pushing himself despite what I said but what I did is to totally ignore all his moves. I didt even face him when he'd visit me at home and I did not spend any single minute to talk to him again. So he got tired and stopped on his own. 
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
17 Jan 11
If this guy is that forceful about being in a relationship with you, then you should realize that he would be very forceful with you about other things when or if he is in a relationship with you.
You can figure out the character of this guy; he has a girlfriend but yet he is trying to get together with you; clear sign of a cheater. Giving this guy a chance to disrupt your life would be a big mistake.
Tell him, once and for all, that you just want to be friends and that you wish that he would stop insisting that you give him a chance.
You can figure out the character of this guy; he has a girlfriend but yet he is trying to get together with you; clear sign of a cheater. Giving this guy a chance to disrupt your life would be a big mistake.
Tell him, once and for all, that you just want to be friends and that you wish that he would stop insisting that you give him a chance.
@knicnax (2233)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Just stay away, no explanations. If you keep on being nice, he will still go for you. Some men just can't take no. They think that if a girl is nice, the girl still wants him but is only playing hard to get. Don't tell him that you don't want a boyfriend right now. It's like indirectly telling him to wait. Don't be nice anymore. If you need to be mean, do so, or you won't get rid of him.
Tell him that you don't want him to be your boyfriend. Tell him that if he doesn't stop badgering you, you'll stop being his friend. Tell him that nothing happened in the past because you don't want anything to happen at all, and that he can blame you for that, but you don't care, cause you don't want him.
I know it's mean and downright rude, but that's the way to go if you want to shake him loose. Or you could just really avoid him. Not talk to him, and if he corners you, tell him you're really busy. Also, you should tell your friend about her/his brother.
1 person likes this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Yes.I agree with your answer. I did every thing,I told him frankly last night but he don't understand me. I'm not nice anymore and I just ignore him. HI and hello is enough. That's what I'm going to do. I'll tell my friend about this. :)
2 people like this
@starlight_starbright (810)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Hello Bianca,
I've been this situation countless of times already. I don't know if would work for you. If I were you, I would befriend him. Be constructive with your points when talking to him. Since you have told to STOP, he just doesn't seem to accept it. There is no way making him understand the matter for he refuses to understand it. Let him be. Avoid him as much as you can but try to face him when there is no way to turn around. Don't allow him to make your way go narrow. He's you friend's brother so I may guess there is no way of getting him out of your life circle. Eventually he would give up. And do not forget to clearly tell him that you don't have feelings for him. He is hopeful because your good side makes him think that you can be that good for the reason that you might be liking him as well. Make him see that you just respect and see him as your friend's older brother. No more no less. It is useless for him to have that hope when he knows that there is no even a slightest chance that you would love him. Good luck!
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
I told him already but he can't accept that I just wanted him to be my friend or an older brother. He really can't accept it. I'll do my best for him to stay away from me and stop hoping or I'll be the one to stay away. I'll talk to him later after my class to finish this business. :)
@rage35 (344)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
That guy seems very in love with you since you've given all the things that could make him look back and walk away but still, he's always hoping for that you will love him in return. There is no reason to blame you for what happened. He shouldn't blame you. If he can't understand the word "STOP", then It's better to stay away from him rather than making him feel, as what he's always expecting, that you have also feelings for him. Just ignore him in a respectful manner, not in a rude way. Later, he will realized that you're not meant for each other and should leave you with yourself doing whatever makes you happy.
1 person likes this
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Yes. He don't understand the word stop. I already did everything but still he's hopeful. whew! Hopeful because he has a confidence he could get me because he never experienced to be "busted" by the other girls that's why he feels he can get me. I'll talk to him later to finish this. :)
1 person likes this
@sergs_pogi (170)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
Hello, Bianca. I don't really know what to tell you. Boys have different attitudes just like girls. But in your case, I don't suggest that you give him a chance to win your heart, for he already has someone hoping something in return from him. Well, perhaps you are still young so you don't feel the need for having a partner. Just do what you want. That's my best advice. Whatever makes you happy is what matters. Do not live up according to others' wishes if it harms you or you do not like it. Love is in fact a mutual feeling and should not be forced.
@pelgerhuet (136)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
i see that you already told him you don't like him as a boyfriend.as for now better stay away from him.i don't know if it's right to say you ignore him, he's a brother of your friend right?and also tell him not to misunderstand the way you treat him.
@Bianca_mergillano (1067)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Oh yes. He's the brother of my friend. What I just don't like about my friend is she's also pushing his brother. I already talked to her about that and good thing she understand but she said that it is me who must talk to his brother. That's what I;m going to do later after my class. :)
1 person likes this
@rosegardens (3034)
• United States
17 Jan 11
I used to be nice, and tell them same as you, either I do not have time, I am not interested in dating anyone at the moment because of other commitments, etc. I have found those do not work so well with an unintended and kind of desperate suitor.
Now, may God forgive me, I flat out lie and tell them I have a boyfriend. This stops all the unwanted attention. Usually. Sometimes they get smart and say they have never seen me with my boyfriend, what does he do, how come he is never with you, etc. Now really, is that anyones business? lol. I tell them he travels for work and he will be back later this evening. It helps to have people back your story up.
Good luck and may you always be safe from harm
@yetsa76 (55)
•
17 Jan 11
I used to find myself in sticky situations. I can be a flirt without even realizing it till it's too late. Even when I know I've not been a flirt though and someone comes on that strong then I've a way of laughing it off. There is times in the past when some people havn't taken no for an answer. In that situation I tell them my feelings in no uncertain terms. It can be quire harsh, but I've found that it stop the bit that happens in the future about them blaming me for how they feel. How they feel is how they feel and for them to transffer their feelings and emotions and you is wrong. So I've found over a period of time to nip it in the bud so as avoid confusion. Its a lot better for that person to be upset now and let them get over it, than all the he said she said talk that can take place.
@blue_servant (205)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
Your explanations should merit him to STOP. But as a gentleman, and as a person, I guess he is already too personal to blame you for all those things. I advise you to be vigilant as he might be pushing himself too hard, that might harm you already. Guard your heart and yourself always.
If I also put myself in the guy's shoe, I guessed he's been really hurt much with his experience with you. You might not understand him very much, but certainly he has reasons of doing it. If it still would not help, then you might as well tell his parents for them to remind him.
You take care. God bless!
@koikei (206)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
greetings! he's insisting probably because he thinks that you're still very young and easily persuaded. you've already done your part by saying NO to him several times. is his sister really your friend? because if she is, then she would not encourage her brother to pursue. as your friend, she would understand what you really need right now, which is a restraining order and a pepper spray.
