20 Year Old Who Mooches Off of Parents
By snbutterfly
@snbutterfly (259)
United States
January 18, 2011 1:30pm CST
A friend has a son who is 20. He keeps saying he'll find a job or go to school but he never does and each semester just passes by. He sits in his room either reading or playing on the computer. Both parents have tried talking to him and he just ignores them. They don't want to kick him out on the street, but they also want him to get a college education, work, and be a productive and responsible human being.
She says he already does his own laundry. He cooks his own food (although he doesn't always clean it). He does the grocery shopping with their card because they're busy and it's helpful but he doesn't drive and he always sneaks items on the grocery list and hordes them. They find out when checking the list.
What are ways to get this kid out of the house without making him sleep on the street? Turn off his Internet connection? The power in his room (LOL)?
6 responses
@elysiamarie (147)
• Canada
19 Jan 11
The problem here sounds like the parents and not the 20 year old child. These parents are enabling their adult child to act like this.
I am assuming this child was never really disciplined in his life, or had any sort of responsibility.
Unfortunately, now that the child has reached adult status, it will be very hard to fix this poor person who has been designed to fail by his parents. The best thing for him at this point would be for him to be out of that house so he can learn about the real world and responsibilities.
It's such a shame the way people raise children these days. So many children grow up to be non functioning adults because of their parents crippling. Not disciplining a child or teaching them responsibility is failing as a parent in my eyes. Is that not their job? To prepare him for life as an adult? They didn't do their job, why should he?
Poor guy, my heart goes out to him.
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
19 Jan 11
Sounds like this kid has it made. Can I move in too??? So many times adversity is the driver. Without a problem, why should this kid do anything.Ok,to change someone else, sometimes we must change ourselves.Let's start by giving this young man an education about finances.No moneyNo internet, no cell phones, no cable tv. You will give him a roof over his head for now. next food. He only gets to eat dried beans and rice. No more junk food. No more expensive chips, cookies, ice cream. Lock up your food if need be.Just a couple of days without the junk food is enough to get anyone out there looking for a job. The adversity will create the need to find a solution. If you get soft and give in,you are not helping him.
@marguicha (223776)
• Chile
18 Jan 11
Unfortunatly the laws to safeguard the children have gone too far and the same society who was trying to keep them safe has turned them intro spoiled brats. Parents help, in part because both have to work in order to make ends meet, in part because you cannot raise a hand in front of yout kid unless you want a whole police squad at your door and the kid at a forter home for "abuse".
In my country now children have to be fed by law until they are 24. So they are old Peter Pans doing nothing of use. They ARE old enough to have children though and many times part of their "play" includes getting a young woman (also doing nothing) pregnant.
I remember 2 generations ago. I was 16 and had finished school two years before the normal age fot high school graduation. I was hoping my parents would let me stay home one year to do "things" (learn to play guitar, go to see plays, read a lot and so on). My mother said I could do all that WHILE studying. I could choose the University or I could get a job. She was serious so I thought that University would be a lot easier and more fun.
I took with me the cable of the TV when my girls we little and turned off all the lights of the house until they understood what "lights out" meant.
This is not something to laugh. That young man (at 20 you are not a boy anymore) is heading for trouble.
@cowboyofhell (3063)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
There is one thing that's true, even if all sanctions are given to him, nothing will change. It will only make matters worse. I'm confidently sure of that.
@plonka (21)
• Canada
18 Jan 11
I dont want to sound harsh or disrespectful but it really seems like the parents failed at raising him properly when it was the time for it... As a 20 year old myself, I think they should stop paying anything for him if they still do, have one last serious talk with him about how miserable his life is going to be in 10 or 20 years if he doesnt do something right now, and if he doesnt understands, hell yes cut off the internet, do whatever it takes to get him back on track! He will thank his parents in a couple years, thats for sure.
@loveandpeace (470)
• Indonesia
19 Jan 11
Yes I agree that the internet connection should be turn off. And maybe his parents could invite some of his friends who go to college so they can talk and exchange opinions. If he just sit there in his room and nobody talk to him then he'll become more ignorant. I think his parents should try every way that possible to get him to school or looking for job before give up on him and send him to the street. Just my thoughts.
